What Do Ye Reckon

3 years on

2010-01-16T11:26:00.000+01:00

Almost 3years since saying I do.
Still married; mostly happy.
Still waiting to experience that feeling of being pregnant.
So far, after several emotional traumas, we have discovered we were exploited by ,Nigerian doctors.
They said hubby had low sperm count.mmmmh.
Well it turned out he has undescended testicles and does not produce semen.
Our only option of becoming parents is to consider a sperm donor.
So many thoughts flying through my head.
I thought of suing but the publicity would be too traumatic for hubby.
We have decided to go for a donor.
The thought of never knowing the father of my children is one that is too hard to bear!!!!!!!!
Would I keep it- As a secret forever?
Would they forgive me for buying them from a sperm bank?
Can I bring myself to commit adultery so I can give my children a name if they ever wanna know their father?
Gosh, my heart is breaking!

IVF Again

2008-12-18T17:13:00.002+01:00

4 embryos were placed back in my body today.
Peeps, my womb shall carry these babies to full term.
my body would not reject my babies.
my babies would come forth in 9months, hale and hearty and without any deformation.
At the Name of JESUS, every knee shall bow and infertility and miscarriages have bowed out of me and outta my marriage and outta my home in The Name of JESUS.
Joy unspeakable is mine........
I see my twins.....laughing, crawling, talking, walking, learning, growing in JESUS Name!
In faith, I have pledged an offering of N1million as my thanksgiving offering to My FATHER in HEAVEN.
Join me in praying for babies Alexa and Zack.....

Kisses and Hugs,
BJKS

more copido uncovered part 3

2008-12-13T03:41:00.002+01:00

So Aday’s wife moved back home.
We met one weekend at shoprite while I was doing my shopping.
Aday acted like an over-excited teenager as he pulled me off to meet his wife in the fruits and veggies section

Aday: (ch) love, meet my office sweet-heart, Copido.
Me(quite excited): Hello madam
Ch: (wrong attitude) Hello
She turned to continue her shopping.
Chit chat,,,,,,weather talk…..so boring!
Me: So I’m off.
Aday: (holds me and starts to praise me) Ch, this lady is a true friend……stood by me…..told me to contact you…..insisted I had to travel monthly to PH to see you.

She thanked me for ‘the part I played in pushing her hubby back where he belongs’.
And I left.

Later that evening, I got a call from her.
She asked if we could meet at a spa in Lekki area, she said it was really good and she wanted us, 'Aday's girls' to do something ‘girly’ together.

I replied: I am not one of 'Aday's girls' and I declined.
At that point, i figured she was probably looking for trouble.
Her bait? Moi....?

Aday called me back and somehow sweet-talked and convinced me to go.
So we met at the spa parking lot.
Me: Hello ch
Ch: You can call me Mrs QRS
Me: Okay.
Ch: (calmly) Did he fuck you?
Me: Excuse me?!
Ch: Yes or no?
Me: This is ridiculous
Ch: Lets be real. You are the ‘typical Take home to mama’ kinda girl and I think aday is attracted to you.
Me: I think not. He’s a friend and that’s the end of it. You're being offensive.....
Ch: I wish I could believe you, but I don’t. He’s my husband and I know he likes you.
Me: well, I assure you it’s not mutual. I am happily married and I have to go.
Mrs QRSCh: I just had to get that off my chest
Me: Good for you
Ch: Can we start again? Maybe my approach was wrong?
Me: No thanks! Bye!
Ch: (laughs and claps her hands) Oya no vex.

She pulled me back very quickly and she gave me a hug.

Ch: Maybe you should hear my side of the story.
Me: Please dont bother.
Ch: I love that guy so much, I know shouldn't have moved out........ I just got fed up with the pressure and unending questions from relatives and friends........ My mother-in-law started calling me a man and telling all that cared to listen that Aday married a man……….We dated for over ten years before we got married. I've known him forever and i almost ruined everything....

And we went in for our ‘girly spa session', paid for by ch.

Of course she reported herself to Aday, who called later to apologise for any embarassment i suffered. He said he was unable to convince her that 'aa we had was a genuine friendship'.
He further told me that he had admitted to her that he was attracted to me initially but i was quick to turn him down?????

He assured me: She's an angel, i'm sure you'll find out someday......

So, ch and I started a comfortable friendship……
Last month, we co-planned a surprise gig for Aday.
He was sooo surprised that he almost fled....and then he shed a oneor two drops of tears.....
We are on first-name basis....
We've done a few more girly sessions.
She's called me several times saying to me: 'WARN THAT YOUR OFFICE SWEETHEART, HE's LOOKING FOR TROUBLE OH'
And I have been warning him oh.
I like her and I respect her maturity......

next my first fight with aday…..

More Copido Uncovered II

2008-12-11T21:44:00.002+01:00

I returned to my office wondering how he made the connection.
Accent, Cars, Blog and Instinct?
I logged into my system and typed: https://www.blogger.com/start ready to delete my entire blog but I failed to remember the password – too bad.
So why did I agree to meet him after work?
What were we going to talk about?
I did a quick search, Aday HR and found out he was several levels above my paltry level.

After work,,,,,,,, I bolted!
Coward????
Yeah right and thanks!
Singing; YOU CAN SAY WHAT U WANNA SAY......

On getting home, internet had been disconnected so I went to bed early.

The next day, traffic was light and I arrived at work really early to read my blog from an outsider’s perspective.
I drove into my favourite parking slot and admired the car sticker on the beamer parked next to me: ‘Drive it like you stole it’

As I was getting my stuff together to get out of the car,

Aday: Hello Copido
Startled, I almost jumped out of my skin.
Me:(Quite irritated) Why did you creep up on me like that?
Aday: Sorry I thought you saw me.
Me: I didn’t
Aday: But you were staring at my car.
Me: Which car?
Aday: The black BMW
Me: I was looking at the car sticker
Aday: Oh, that hurts.
Me: Are you trying to flirt with me?
Aday: Definitely not. I would have been flirting if I had told you I was really disappointed when I saw your wedding band.
Me: Excuse me. I am married and I am happy and I am not going to encourage you.
Aday: I apologise

I grabbed my jacket, handbag, tote bag, phones, flask, newspaper and folders and tried to lock my car door.

Aday: Let me help you.
Me: I am fine

He took my magazine, flask and folder anyway.
Me: Thank you.

We took the lift to my floor.

Me: Good-morning all
My colleagues (to Aday): Morning sir. Goodmorning Oga Aday. Oga Goodmorning oh.
Aday: Morning everyone.
Colleague: Oga, I hope you are not moving madam to another unit. Please leave her here with us
No response.

Aday: You stood me up yesterday
Me: I had things to do.
Aday: Can we do lunch today?
Me: Whatever it is you are looking for, read my lips: I am not interested,
Aday: First, you shouldnt make assumptions so quickly and secondly do you have to be sooooo rude?
Me: I don’t have time for this. Have a nice day.
He left.

I turned to power on my puter and prepare for my one-on-one session with my HR partner, Chioma.
I wondered why I was angry…..was he the cause???
I wondered but I had no answer.
At 830am, I took the stairs to our personnel department,
Chioma was waiting for me in the conference room.
Me: Hello
Chioma: hello Copido. I think my supervisor might want to take this session.
She made a quick call on the intercom: 'Copido is here' and of course, in comes Aday.
Chioma introduced us quickly and left.
Aday was cordial and professional throughout the session.
He answered my questions thoroughly and before long the session was over and I had learnt quite a number of things to apply and reapply in my role as team leader.

I thanked him and as I got up to leave, he grabbed my arm: Please hold on
Sigh.
Aday: I just want to apologise…..if there’s anything I’ve done that annoyed or offended you, I am really sorry.
Me: okay
Aday: What i told you yesterday……
Me: your secret is safe with me
Aday: thanks. Can we do lunch together today?
Me: sure.

So we had luch together that day and many days after.
We talked about my blog, my current predicament, he shared his experiences with various fertility experts in the country and abroad.
Over time, we developed a good and genuine mature friendship.
It wasn’t long before rumours started flying: ‘Aday broke up with his wife because of Copido’, Aday and Copido are getting married’ Aday and Copido have moved in together’ etc
Some of my colleagues were quick to tell me that they disliked Aday as he had been ‘very wicked and inconsiderate’ to them.
I had never seen that side of Aday so I let them say and of course we laughed it off

I encouraged Aday to make contact with his wife (ch) and not give up on his marriage.
And after several trips to Nigeria's Garden City, his wife agreed to return home.
For reasons unknown to me I had mixed feelings about the reconciliation.
I was very happy for him yet i also felt jealous because it meant I was going to have to share him with her……imagine that......

More Copido Uncovered

2008-12-09T11:52:00.002+01:00

He said: Copido
I was shocked.......and speechless.
He said: Hello Copido, my name is Ade (pronounced Aday)
Still speechless.
He said: Can I join you..........?
Me: Nooooo. Nooooo. How did you know?
Aday: Know about you/Copido?
Me: Does anyone else know? Did you tell anyone else?
Aday: I swear...
Me: Dont swear
Aday: At least let me sit.

I felt so 'scattered' so like someone had invaded my privacy and I got up in anger, very close to tears, my lunch forgotten. I walked quickly to the ladies and I cried.

How can?

How come?

I was so stupid to put up my entire life on the internet......foolish gal, foolish gal, foolish gal.

I never blogged in the office before so no chance he hacked into my system.

But how then?????

And who else knows????

I wiped off my tears and decided I was going to delete my blog right away before he leaked it out to anyone else.
As I walked out of the loo, I saw him standing right across the lobby area.

Aday: Copido can i have just one minute, please?

He sounded almost desperate.

Me; So who else knows?

Aday: I'm going through what you are going through, I have the same problem with your husband. You have my word that I would never disclose Copido to anyone else.
Me: How did you make the connection between me and Copido?
Aday: Your accent, the Nissan and Mercedes M-class cars...and instinct.
Me: I am sure I have never seen you before.
Aday: I work in HR and you've moved departments so many times that I have lost count.
Me: How long have you known?
Aday: Today.
Me: And for how long have you suspected?
Aday: Since you faced the disciplinary committee for insubordination to MY.

We both laughed.

Aday: Please don’t delete your blog
Me: I have to, before anyone else finds out
Aday:Please.
Me: Why?
Aday: Please
Me: ???????
Aday: Copido please, i beg you, don’t delete it.
Me: Why?????
Aday: The tears and laughter your blog has given to me mean so much to me.

I noticed he wasn’t wearing a wedding band.

Me: Are you married?
Aday: Yes and no?
Me: ???????
Aday: I was married for 4years, my wife left me in January.
Me: Sorry about that. was it because of your problem?
He nodded and I felt like hugging him but I just squeezed his fingers and said: I am sorry about it.
He nodded again and I saw that he was crying.
So I hugged him and whispered: Don’t do that!!!! Stop it!!!!!
Just then his blackberry beeped.

Aday: I have to go. Can we meet after work?
I couldn’t think of anything else to say.
Me: why not?

And I watched him walk away.

Just breezed in........

2008-12-09T11:36:00.001+01:00

........to say Season's Greetings
Xmas is in the air...........
.......and Santa Claus is in town.......

2008-06-24T20:29:00.005+01:00

Okay, here goes!!!!!

Fellow bloggers, there's someone claimimg 'he/she' knows me cos we work in the same coy.

I know it's a big lie, but i'll humour him/her.

If you really know me, meet me during lunch tomorrow.

I'll be waiting.....time is 2pm and i'll be by myself.

Just say Copido......

Pregnant? No

2008-06-21T09:32:00.002+01:00

After 3attempts, about $10,000down the line, we are still not pregnant.
Well, i decided i wasnt going through the procedure for the fourth and fifth time.
Hubby was devastated, but i stood my ground.
'I dontthinkI can do this again, I said.
The doctor tried his best to encourage me to give it another shot.....no no
I was on an emotional roller-coaster through the 3failed attempts plus the third time, my period started on day 31 when we were both convinced our baby had been conceived.
So.......hubby is back....later

Copido Uncovered......Partially

2008-06-11T22:07:00.001+01:00

Copido's eyes, so tell me if i'm who u think i am.........

Meet CopidO

2008-06-11T21:57:00.001+01:00

Hello All!!!!!!!!!

2nd TimeUnlucky

2008-04-05T23:04:00.002+01:00

I guess the blog title says it all.
We're still not pregnant and we were so sure I was pregnant till I had three pregnancy tests confirming i was not.
I had all the symptoms: Frequent urination, Rock hard belly; Full and tender breasts and my period was a day late.
Hubby asked me to call him as soon as I had the test result.
I did and we cried.
I locked myself in the ladies and cried my eyes out.
Doc said not to give up, but to keep praying.
We're trying a third time and then I may have to do surgery to remove the fibroid as a last reort.
Me: but Doc, you said the fibroid was not harmful.
Doc: As a last resort, we may consider removing it to eliminate all doubt.

But Copido where is your faith?!!!
I'm afraid it's wavering.
I'm afraid......I am soooooooo scared.......I am so worried!!!!

Update

2008-03-09T16:44:00.000+01:00

It didnt work, so we are giving it a second shot.
Sigh.......

making babies....

2008-02-08T00:16:00.000+01:00

Having committed all into the Hands of The Mighty GOD who created me and hubby and the doctor, hubby amd I are off for our first shot at IVF.

I can't wait to rock my babies in my arms and tickle them silly and watch them take their first steps. Oh paparazzi, I am gonna record every single moment.....Jeez, I really can't wait.

Our Doc studied in the US and he flies in specialists/consultants that handle the procedure with him but I wish we could go to the UK for the procedure but we can't cos of work.....anyways GOD makes babies in Nigeria too.

Fingers crossed. tears dried and knees glued to the ground......i'm off

Can you wear my shoes.....

2008-01-25T21:10:00.000+01:00

It's a night before our 1st wedding anniversary and we are trying hard to look happy.
We have planned an anniversary party strictly by invitation with all the works.....
But we are not excited about it......not anymore.
Hubby and I went to see an Obstetrician/Gynaecologist.
We did some fertility tests and he booked us in for an appointment at the close of work today.
I was hoping to hear him say: There's no problem.......
Well,there is a problem.
*Sigh*
But LORD, why us? Why LORD? Why?!!!
The doctor said my test results were okay, but I have a fibroid growing on my womb, but it won't affect conceiving or carrying to full term.
The bad news: My husband's sperm count is low, very low.
I held hubby and cried. He held me quietly and kept whispering: Babes, I'm sorry....I'm sooo sorry. Please don't cry.
The doctor said not to blame him or take it out on him and not to stress him.
I said: I'll be mad to do that! What if it was me?
I turned to hubby and said: Babes, I don't blame you. We are in this together.
Doc: Calm down
Me: I can't....cos we don't deserve this....it's not fair. why doctor?...why?,,,why....
Doc: There's a solution....
He said I was going to be placed on some drugs during the third day of my next period and then hubby's sperm would be released directly into my womb with the use of some big injection-like tube. He said there's hope and it's not a bad scenario and we were tackling it early blablabla
As he spoke, tears ran down my cheeks uncontrollably, hubby held on to me gently.
Doc: Madam, please take it easy. Do you need some time alone?
Hubby: (gruffly) Yes please
As he left us, I started sobbing quietly....
Self-Pity....Why Me? Why Us? Why LORD? Why?! Why?!
Hubby: Babes, I am sorry for putting you through this
Me: I am not crying for me. I am crying for us. I am sorry if it makes you feel worse but I just can't stop it....cos we don't deserve this.....

My heart is bleeding.....
You have to wear my shoes to understand how I feel

Buyer Beware

2008-01-05T12:01:00.000+01:00

Just a short post.
Hubby has a new secretary.
She combines personal business with work.
She made hubby buy a size 18, (French Kiss???) Skirt with jagged edges for me.
She sold him aloe-vera roll on (Forever Living Product)
She sold him a bracelet(Romanian gold)
She sold him 3sets of bed-sheets
I have warned hubby not to tolerate her again.
Her job function is to be a secretary and she shouldn't be selling stuff during working hours.
Hubby said that she ususlly corners them in the parking lot(yes, hubby's not her only victim) and that she's very efficient in performing her official duties.
If hubby can't say no...can I give her a call and advise her to stop forcing things on my hubby????
What do you reckon?

Xmas Tradition (Long Post

2007-12-29T06:55:00.000+01:00

Aside from all the warmth of Xmas, I also love Xmas cos it's a time to exchange gifts.
Back home with my mum & siblings, each year, each person wrote three things they wanted for Xmas on separate pieces of paper and placed it in a teacup(identical) and then mum gave each person a saucer so you're not sure who has your saucer......
Afterwards, each person picked from two separate saucers.

Gosh! I hope you lot understand my narration.

And there were rules: *A minimum and maximum budget, *You can't pick from the same saucer twice, *You can't pick your name, *You must not let anyone know whose name u picked, *You have to be very detailed about what you want e.g.: 100ml CK Euphoria perfume for ladies, *You give as many clues as to where the item can be bought...*You must keep the folded paper you chose till Xmas.

My mum never got any gifts, just cash, cause she never liked any of our gifts.(lol)
I hated picking my brother's names cos they always wanted something on the dot of the budget: designer wristwatches, camera phones, leather jackets, designer sneakers, X-box and Nintendo games etc!
Xmas was always exciting especially when we were all living with mum.

Gosh, I'm grinning from ear to ear.

Anyways, I suggested to hubby that we could adopt this gift swapping tradition and he agreed but he insisted there should be no budgets and we wrote four items each and picked two.

I picked: Nokia E90 and Apple Macbook Pro. (just over N500,000 in total).
Hubby picked: A complete set of 18ct gold and coral jewellery and a dress (Tiffany Amber) (just over N100,000 in total).

Of course I cried foul play.

Hubby insisted he was more than satisfied with what I picked; you shoulda heard his victory laugh.
Me: Babes, I could have asked for a Jacuzzi or a car or plot of land but I was considerate because this is something we have to enjoy doing.
Hubby: Babes, you can take a lease and pay conveniently over a year and actually enjoy doing it. You can even afford to pay cash down, why are you complaining?!
Me: Okay, let’s do it again. I was obviously being considerate when I wrote my Xmas wishes.......
Hubby: No way!
Me: Okay, I'm not doing this anymore.
Hubby: You are kidding, babes! You are stuck in this one for real!!

I felt much cheated and no matter how much I moaned, I wasn't being heard.
Plus, I came up with the suggestion and I agreed there were no rules and I was stuck.
The money wasn't the issue, but I had been very considerate and hubby was being extremely inconsiderate.
I didn't mention it again, and I decided to buy the gifts and make him sweat it out during our anniversary.
Revenge is Sweet!
After 2days of sulking, hubby said, he had gone to check my gifts and he agreed I had been very considerate, so he said we could pick again.
Of course, I said never mind, I'm fine, blahblah but of course he insisted (lol).
He again said: Babes, no budget, write whatever you want.
Me: Anything at all?
Hubby: Anything.
Me: I really think a N100, 000 maximum on each gift is fair.
Hubby: Stop talking cheap. Write anything you want
I smiled: Anything is anything.
Hubby: Yes. Anything is anything! Deal?
Me: Deal.....
And I smiled and said to meself: I'm gonna teach him a lesson........

I wrote: Brand New Customised BMW X5, Brand New VW Touareg, Brand New Nissan Murano 2007 Model & an Indoor Jacuzzi.

Later in the evening, after dinner, we sat down to pick again.
Hubby: This time it's final. You have to buy whatever you pick.
Me: Of course, no cries of foul play.
Hubby: But of course, we both know we have to be realistic.
Me: I've been very realistic. I don't know about you.
Hubby: Trust me.
Me: And this time around, I won't let you know what I picked and vice-versa.
Hubby: No problem. You pick first.....
So we both picked and unfolded our selections.
I chose: Apple Macbook Pro & Accessories and Sony VGN...... (the one with the razor-thin panel) & Accessories.
Hubby :( laughs) Hahahahahahahh!!! This is unrealistic. We both agreed........
Me: Babes, anything is anything. (I'm trying very hard not to laugh cos I knew he either had 2cars or one car and a jacuzzi)
Hubby: Babes, no, no. This is madness; we have 3cars already, minus our official cars, and now 2more cars?!!!
Me: Yay!!!! I see myself cruising my Murano......Gosh! 2008 is going to be fabulous. One car per day!!!!
Hubby: Heeeheeee(still laughing) So there's still Murano.
Me: Don't tell me you didn't pick it...
Hubby: Babes, hahaha. You are not serious. Stop being ridiculous.
Me: (Kiss) A deal is a deal. It’s sealed. Afterall, you can afford to pay cash down or take a lease..... (Sounds familiar uhmmm?)
Hubby: Babes, this is unrealistic. I am out.
Me: Babes, stop being a sour loser, where's your game spirit?
Hubby: No sweet-talking. I'm not doing it. No way!!! If you want a new car, then at least, lets sell the one you are driving now, there's no way I'm going to buy two more cars....
Me: Babes, what you are saying is that 'I' don't deserve....
Hubby: We agreed on being realistic....
Me: How realistic is having 2 Nokia communicators or 2 more laptops when we already have 2?
Hubby: Babes, those puters are due for a change....
Me: Babes, my car is due for a change. I want to drive a jeep.....
Hubby: Let’s just forget this gift swap thing. It won't work.
Me: Thanx for nothing. I'll buy your laptops and if you don't buy my gifts, I won't forgive you.
Hubby: I don't want any laptop oh! You better not waste your money.
Me: You can always flush it on ebay as an unwanted Xmas present. I am cruising two jeeps this 2008......Halleluyah!

I tormented hubby for a full day with songs of my new cars and I bore his grumbling about my unrealistic Xmas wishes graciously.
After dinner the next day, I confessed that I only wanted to teach him a lesson, he maintained, there was no way he would have honoured the wishes as it was both unrealistic and wasteful.
Me: (feeling quite offended) How can you say that about something I want?
Hubby: Okay, I'm sorry. Let’s not go there.
We agreed that it was very reasonable to set a budget as our anniversary is in January, Valentine February, my birthday in March and hubby's birthday in April (tight uuuhn?)
The budget: maximum of N50,000 per item
On Xmas day, he presented me with a set of jewellery (bought @ 90k because of an over-enthusiastic salesgirl) and a black, floral patterned medium-size dress from Tiffany Amber.
I bought him 3sets of pyjamas and a bath-robe and a leather-strapped CK wristwatch with a silver chain bracelet.
We swapped gifts happily on Xmas day, had an English breakfast (ahem….lunch actually. We were at the Ovation Carol party the night before), we cut our Xmas cake, popped a bottle of Champagne and we went to Sheraton for dinner. We hung out with some of hubby's friends before retiring knackered, for the night.

Xmas Greetings!!!

2007-12-29T06:34:00.003+01:00

Hey Peeps!
Compliments of the Season!
Don't you just love December?!!!!
I've not spent Xmas in Nigeria for donkey years but quite honestly, I really enjoyed this Xmas.
We couldn't make our planned holiday travels cos I just started work and we didn't close for the year(lol).
I bought my Xmas tree and decorations during the first week of December.
In my excitement, I 'over-dressed' my poor Xmas tree.
I also ordered 13beautiful '14-inch rich fruit cakes' for neighbours, friends and families.
Those cakes were beautiful and they cost more than my habitual can of chocolate: Heroes, Roses & Celebration.
Hubby and I got 4 LIVE chickens and a LIVE turkey amidst other gifts.
I have an extreme phobia for all LIVE animals, so I won't go into details about the looks of horror on my face each time a bird was delivered, especially when the gift-bearer tried to hand it over to me!!!!
Gosh! I absolutely forgot that people give such gifts.
Anyways, we gave all the birds out as my hubby said he couldn't put a knife to any creature's throat!!!
And I can't pluck the feathers from a dead bird, that smell is so nauseating, it sickens me and that's the reason why I don't eat any bird.
Yupp! I don't eat chicken, turkey, ducks etc. If it's a bird......count me out!!!
Anyways, hubby and I each got a bag of rice, cooking oil, spices etc from work and loads of Xmas cards.

Rising Above Victimisation

2007-11-28T06:19:00.001+01:00

It's a long story peeps, but I'll do a proper post by weekend.

New Job.....Mixed Feelings

2007-11-04T17:34:00.000+01:00

P.S.
Please forgive me for not sharing this earlier.
You know I don't blog as often as I used to.

Last thanksgiving Sunday, hubby and I went to have some Chinese after a long service.

We were quite exhausted when we got home.

Infact, hubby barely managed to pull off his clothes before falling asleep, but I wanted to clean the freezer so I didnt go to sleep immediately.

After giving the kitchen a thorough cleaning up, I picked my phone to check for messages/missed calls.

There was a text from 'That Company' asking me to come pick my offer letter the following day.

I screamed and scared poor hubby badly.

He joined me in screaming and running from one end of the living room, to the other end of the dining room.

I hugged him tightly and thanked him immensely for being a pillar of support.

I picked my offer letter the next day, and to my surprise, the salary was more than N2m over what I had asked, so my earning power is between N5m - N10m per annum.

I won't tell you how much exactly.

Not bad at all, considering the Nigerian economy/cost of living.

Apparently, there was a salary review some months ago......lucky me!!!

I started 8th October and training has been exciting so far.

Meanwhile, hubby and I already agreed I might return to the UK in December to resume my old job as I have been on unpaid leave since January.

I'm so happy I'm not gonna be separated from my hubby!

Yippee!!!!

So I'm on probation for 6months and I won't qualify for paid maternity leave till after 18months, so technically, I have to hold off getting pregnant till at least my 9th month.

Hubby and I have talked about it and we've decidedwe'll cross 'that bridge' when we get there, but I already know I won't terminate my baby/babies for any job.

I was just thinking this morning that it might actually be better for me to return to the UK as I have worked with that UK company for years and I won't get fired for getting preggers.

But if I return to the UK, I'll be separated from my hubby and it's unhealthy for a marriage of less than a year.

I know we survived a long distance relationship prior to marriage but it's different after marriage, plus it won't help if we're looking @ starting a family immediately!

Lord, why is it taking so long? Why?!

I am having mixed feelings about the job now. *Sigh*

It's hard to celebrate, but I'm sailing through one day at a time.

What do you reckon peeps?

Auntie Who?

2007-11-02T19:44:00.000+01:00

See, I was @ the bank last week to get some cash @ the ATM, when I saw this lady(Lets refer to her as Lady) wearing a beautifully-tailored ankara(African print fabric) skirt and blouse with frills and all the works.

The tailor/designer's cuts were sharp and neat and moulded her figure nicely.

I've been paying my tailor N5000 perfabric and he still has to do 2 -5alterations before I am 60% satisfied.

Anyways, I couldn't resist going to queue behind the lady to have a chat with her about her gorgeous attire.

Me: Hello! That's a lovely attire you've got on! It's so nice

Lady:(smiles) Thank you

Me: Hope you wouldn't mind me asking for your tailor's number?

Lady: Awww! Sorry, I lost my phone and I don't know her number by memory.

Me: Such a pity!

Silence

Me: But are you planning on retrieving the same number?

Lady: Yes.

Me: Good. Then can i have your number so I can call you in the next couple of weeks just in case....

Lady: Ok

So we exchanged numbers.

She was going to give me her husband's number so I could keep in touch prior to her retrieving her lost phone but she changed her mind and i don't blame her.

I don't distribute my hubby's numbers either, not even to close friends (thank u Nollywood(lol))

Me: So where's the tailor's shop?

Lady: Oworo/Bariga side.

Me: Huuuuh?! But does she do home service? Cos my tailor usually comes to pick my fabrics from my house

(Sadly, I can't meander around town by myself and there's no Tomtom Navigator in this town or comprehensive road-maps even)

Lady: Yes, but you will pay her transport fare.

Me: That[s not a problem. How much does she charge per fabric?

Lady: from N1000 - N2500, depending on the style/fabric.

Me: heh? (Jeez! I resisted the urge to slap my hands on my head, Papa Ajasco style)

Lady: Like this style, she took N1500 because it's complex.

Me: I will definitely call you

Lady: Excuse me.

I moved back a bit as it was her turn to use the ATM.

When she finished, I waved: Okay, Lady. I'll call you.

I finished my business and made to leave, but Lady was lurking around so I gave her a friendly wave.

Lady: Excuse me

So I walked up to her.

Lady: See, I don't like disrespect and where i come from, respect is mutual. I don't know your age oh, but I have younger ones and two of them are married and even their husbands can't call me by name and I know they are older than you. So if they hear you calling me Lady, they can also start disrespecting me, not to mention that tailor. The woman dares not call me by my first name. I expected you to use your initiative to know that there'll be Aunty before my name. In my culture,....

I was very *pissed*!!!! (Excuse my language). Istruggled to maintain a calm facade though and I had a good look at her.

I look younger than my age and I am soft-spoken, so I am used to people thinking I am a baby.

Me: So would you rather i called you Mrs......

Lady: No, you can call me Aunty.

Me: I won't do that. You don't ask for respect, you earn it. And you've just lost any respect i have for you. In case you don't know, I'm sure we are in the same age-group, give or take a couple of years! Good-day!

I felt like kicking her and pulling her hair off strand by strand but I walked off and got into my car.

Gosh! The directors of the company I workfor (I am still on unpaid leave) in the UK are probably the same age with my parents or older but we're on first name basis.

My younger siblings and cousins refer to me by name and I've never felt like they disrespected me, instead, they say I'm their favorite sister/cousin/aunt because i am not fussy!

I think those that hide such actions behind 'culture' are just people looking for an excuse to remain stagnant.

Hiss.

Who needs her cheap tailor anyway? (I know I do and that makes me more furious)

This woman is not my aunty and I don't want to refer to her as aunty!!!

Mind you, I'm not being pompous or silly. I am just being me!

I know someone's probably wondering about my in-laws.

Honestly, I don't refer to them as Uncle/Auntie, instead, I use their titles like Chief, Doctor, Pastor, Deacon etc and for the women, it's Mrs So-so-so and for the other wives, it's So-So-So's Mum etc and for those I am clearly older than, I refer to them by their first names!

Meanwhile, I let them know I prefer to be called by my first name cause my name is beautiful and it's my name! Adding auntie to my name doesnt make you respect me more or does it?

What do you reckon peeps?

Playing in the Rain

2007-11-02T19:05:00.000+01:00

Hello peeps!
Wasnt last Saturday just awesome?!
Well, it was for me.
Since I returned from the UK to Lagos, Nigeria, I have been bathing with very warm water, I doubt I've had any cold showers.
Early Saturday morning, I was woken by the sounds of heavy rainfall and when I peeped, it was raining cats and dogs.
Hubby had gone for yet another Bachelor's Eve the night before so I was home alone.
I desperately wanted to play in the rain but not by myself so i waited....

We don't have a gateman because my landlord doesnt like them so we usually leave a padlock outside when someone is out so they can let themselves in when they return.

But the night before, there had been four loud gunshots so i guess my neighbours must have removed the padlock from outside for obvious security reasons.
Anyways, hubby eventually returned and as he couldnt let himself in, he rang me to come open the gate.
I was sooo excited but i moaned about him waking me up so early and that I couldn't come out in the rain.
He said okay, he would wait in the car for a bit.

I quickly donned my night-robe and dashed out without any slippers.
Hubby drove in quickly and expressed concern about my uncovered hair and bare feet but I didn't mind at all.
The cold rain was pelting down all over me and my robe was soaked in an instant!
And, Gosh, it felt soooo good!!!!

Hubby tried to push me in quickly.
Me: Babes, please lets stay and play in the rain a bit. It's been so long since I've done this.
Hubby: (sigh) Babes, I am soo tired
Me: Pleeeease
Hubby: Ooooooooooh!!!!! I want to sleep!
Me: Pleeeeease
Hubby: Okay but you must promise me you won't start screaming especially when u get excited.
Me: I promise!

Hubby stripped to his boxers while I took off my robe, I was wearing a thin strapped cotton camisole with matching knickers underneath.
We dashed into the cold rain excitedly and ran round to the back of the house.
I found a spot where the rain-water was gushing down from the roof and stood there with my eyes closed, my head tilted backwards and my arms spread wide apart.
The ice-cold water flowed on my head and down my body.
Hubby pushed me away excitedly and stood in my place.
I almost screamed then but I managed to jump up and down in excitement!!!!
We took turns at going under the water, it was like our own waterfall(hehehehe)
My teeth started chattering and hubby suggested we returned into the house but I begged for 10more minutes, then 5more minutes etc
Eventually, he started pulling me towards the door while I struggled to pull us both back to our waterfall.

Of course, hubby won't pull/push too hard so I kept winning over and over again until the rain subsided.
We tip-toed back to the front door and returned to the comfort of our home.
Hubby grabbed a towel and dried my body and my hair, I felt so pampered.
Then he dried himself and pushed me gently on the bed.
And we made sweet, sweet love.
Peeps, we didn't wake up till 3pm.
Hubby had a total of 61missed calls on his 3phones. I had 17missed calls but who cares?
I am so happy I'm married to my hubby.....and he doesnt mind bathing in ice cold showers.

So who enjoys playing in the rain?

I fell in love with the picture of those Liberian children playing in the rain and I remember how i never cared for a raincoat when I was young/shall i say younger (Ye know I'm not so old!)

I was so like them, though luckier....much luckier!

I wanna be a child again....

The Family Altar

2007-10-03T23:36:00.000+01:00

Our neighbour came to visit during the weekend.

He’s a Pastor, and so is our landlord.

Aren’t we soooo blessed?!!

Anyways, he came to have a chat with hubby while I was watching Lerato’s eviction from the Big Brother Africa show!

They had been chatting for a while when he politely asked me to switch off the TV as I was distracting my hubby and he wanted me to be part of the conversation.

A part of me wanted to soooo rebel, but I complied frowningly.

He encouraged us to have a family altar.

A family altar is a fixed place where we would always meet as a family at a fixed time to share GOD’s word, sing praises and pray for at least 30minutes daily.

He advised that it’s like keeping a daily date/appointment with GOD.

He also said that his family follows this religiously and many times when he’s had a fallout with his wife, it’s usually resolved at the family altar, because they ‘HAVE’ to meet there and ‘TALK’ and often times, one of them would raise a prayer point about: GOD help my wife/husband to understand so and so and so and then they would discuss the issue and listen to each other’s viewpoints and resolve it.

Sweet. Sweet. Sweet.

Hubby and I pray every morning and night but it’s usually in bed.

He advised us to stay away from the bed as the bed is ‘a comfort zone’ and we may drift away in sleep; true, true, hubby’s a culprit, okay me too.

So I’ve proposed that we use the dining area/lobby but we are yet to agree on a time.

So everyone, please have a altar in your homes!!!

Sadly, we didn’t make it for dinner last night (Independence Day).

At about 6.30pm, there was a loud bang on my kitchen door.

It was my neighbour’s 7year old son.

He had been home alone since 2o’clock and his mum had instructed him to come and stay with me if NEPA struck.

So, there I was, dressed up for dinner and waiting for hubby and now saddled with an unexpected babysitting job!

Sigh! Don’t people know you don’t leave children alone at home and unattended?!!!

I called hubby to let him know and we hoped they would return soon, but it was wishful thinking.

They returned @ about 10pm, thereby ruining our night and I got so mad @ hubby and blamed him for prioritizing his job over me because if he hadn’t gone to the office, I wouldn’t have been at home and I wont have been saddled with babysitting.

I had even told him I would meet him in VI but he said he didn’t want us driving around in separate cars.

Anyways, @ about half 9, I told hubby to go get us some take-away so we would celebrate @ home.

Hubby left and called like 10minutes later saying, he really didn’t want to go out without me and we could cook something to eat for the night. Whatever!

Our neighbours didn’t apologise for saddling us with their child, obviously they didn’t know that we had plans.

Anyways, I had a mug of milk and a glass of water and I went to bed, quietly and ‘VERY ANGRY”!!

This morning, while we were praying, hubby said: GOD please help Copido to stop getting angry……and we both started laughing.

This family altar is already working.

Anways, we can do dinner next week.

Smiles

Happy Independence Day!!!

2007-10-01T16:20:00.000+01:00

Hey everyone!
It's been quite a while!!!!
Happy October 1st to you all!!!
Hubby and I joined our church in a 2hour 'Prophetic March', singing and dancing while being filmed by a local TV station, I didn't get the name, but I know it would be aired 3times today from 11am.
I've had 2aspirins so far and my toes are covered in blisters, but it was fun.
As usual, our church paparazzi(photographers) were present and they kept trying to take pictures of me and hubby, much to my annoyance and despite the fact that I kept hiding my face behind my Nigerian flag!!!
I also met a friend who was my room-mate during my 1st year in Uni and did we reminisce!!
She's travelling back on Wednesday so we're hooking up tomorrow!
I also saw my sister's former secondary-school classmate.
Gosh! It's such a small world!
There's loads of juicy gists (lol)!....but not for today
Hubby and I are going for dinner @ Sheraton in a couple of hours, a monthly routine anyways........
Bless you all!
Long Live Nigeria!!!

911

2007-09-11T18:31:00.000+01:00

It's hard to believe it's been 6years.
I remember that day vividly.
I was in my mother's flat and I just had a shower.
I was planning to go somewhere later in the day, maybe church.
So I switched on the TV to while away some time and I saw a plane crashing into the twin towers.
I actually thought it was a film preview and I laughed and thought:
'These Americans and their silly and evil imaginations!'
I picked up the remote and switched channels: same thing, CNN Breaking News.
I made a mental note to help adjust mum's TV settings and skip some channels.
After switching channels four times or so, it finally dawned on me that I wasn't watching the preview of a film, it was real!!!
I watched, transfixed, as a second plane crashed into the towers, as a state of emergency was declared, as an order to evacuate the city was given, I watched as the twin towers crumbled and vaguely heard news of other plane crashes and watched as the Breaking News strip changed to: America is under attack!!! I watched as men and women ran and cried and I watched as firemen ran for their lives in the chaos. I watched as families gripped the pictures of loved ones that were assumed missing. I watched for two/three days and I cried at the wickedness of men!!
I couldn't stop crying and I remember having sore eyes and a terrible headache for nights.
Terrorism is evil!!
Violence is never a good option, there's always another way!

Back to My Source.....

2007-09-11T10:44:00.000+01:00

Hello All,

I sure hope someone missed me (smiles).

I needed time off....but I'm back.

And I returned to 'My Source' on the 25th August...

In simpler words, I cried and ran to the church altar after a short message on 'Returning to Your Source'

It was a very touching sermon and it opened my eyes to see that I've drawn away from GOD in a lot of ways.

Infact, I was almost at that stage where I was thinking I could do it all on my own - but now I know I can't....

So I've been spending time studying my Bible and fellowshipping with others and staying away from distractions like blogging..hehehehehehe.

I also joined the 'Married Women's Fellowship and had a chat about 'Sex Appeal'.

Life's been bubbly and me and hubby are still in love!!! (...jealous anyone??)

On a final note, I wont be blogging as often because I don't wanna lose my focus on My Source.

Signing off: JESUS loves me.....and you and you and you and you!

XxxxXxxxX

The Conclusion

2007-08-23T19:08:00.000+01:00

I feel like I have been on Jerry Springer(lol)
Anyways, hubby was strictly ordered not to discuss anything with me but he's been saying my mum is lovely and impartial...
Mrs To has cashed her cheque.
She's still living with her hubby, so they've resolved their issues.
I was ordered to apologise to Uncle To, which I did, for the sake of peace.
Mrs To was advised to stop 'broadcasting' intimate issues and she also apologised to her hubby.
Uncle To was advised to stop neglecting his wife.
Hubby told me that Uncle To shoud be on Jerry Springer.
The reason he stopped sleeping with his wife is because his wife found sexual intercourse painful....(Hubby was ordered not to tell, pls dont tell anyone oh)
So because Mrs To found intercourse painful, it was always a long battle to penetrate and she was always crying and he was always exhausted after the do.
He got fed up and annoyed and...blablabla (hehehehehe)
He swore he hadn't been sleeping around (indeed)
Mum advised him about foreplay (hehehehe) and that you cant just hump a woman like that especially if you are big below. She further advised to use Vaseline for lubrication.(hehehe)
Hubby said it was hard to keep a straight-face in there and he caught my Mum's sister laughing and trying to cover up by coughing several times.
Anyways, I reckon I shouldn't have interfered and right now, I'm not gonna be interfering in anyone's business.
I reckon it wont have been so messy if I had asked for Uncle To's side of the story AND if I was too hasty in judgement.
Men, if it wasn't resolved, I woulda been tagged 'Copido: The Marriage-Wrecker'
I flinch and shudder at the thought,,,,
I was only trying to be 'Copido The Good Samaritan'

Now to happier stories, hubby is back and two job interviews.......

The Saga Continues.....

2007-08-23T08:01:00.000+01:00

Hubby agreed it was best for the gal to move on with her life.

I wasn't too surprised when my mum called me very late on Sunday night but I was surprised by what she said.

Mum: Copido, what happened today?
Me: With...regards....to...?
Mum: (hiss) I said what happened between you and To's wife?!!!
I did a quick summary.
Mum: And what did you advise her to do?
I repeated what I had told Uncle To's wife.
Mum:Why couldn't you call me first?
Silence
Mum:Can you please answer me? Why are you interfering in other people's lives?!
Silence
Mum:Hello?
Me: Hello Mum.
Mum:My father just called me and he said To said you have wrecked his marriage and advised his wife to leave him..... and you even gave her money to go on with her life. Copido!!!!

Crikey! Damn!!

She gave me a long and thorough lecture about interfering in other people's affairs, about threading carefully and diplomatically in family matters, about steering away from family because they can cause 'kata-kata' and about her 'extended polygamous back-ground'.

Mum was ranting for a full 94minutes before she exhausted the minutes on her calling card and then she said she was going to call back so hubby and I switched off all our phones.

Hubby: You shouldn't have interfered babes.
Me: Huh?! That's not what you said initially, babes.
Hubby: (laughing) It's just an afterthought.
Me: Damn! What shoud I do?
Hubby:Lets call Uncle To's wife

So I disconnected our internet line and rang the lady

Me: Hello. This is Copido.
Mrs To: Hello! Hello! Hello! I cant hear anything oh. Hello? Hello?
So I rang back, but the operator said the number was not available and advised to try again later.
I must have redialed that number like a hundred times, so i concluded that she had switched her phone off.
I was soooo confused.
So hubby decided to call her husband.
He was on speaker-phone.

Hubby: Goodevening sir. This is OO, Copido's husband
Uncle To: (yelling) OO, has your wife told you what she's done? She wants to wreck my home eh? She wants to wreck my home, abi!
Hubby: I am very sorry about this. Infact I dont know what to say...
Uncle To: (crying) What have I done to Copido to deserve this. Please warn her oh. If it wasn't for the respect I have for you....mmmhhh, I woulda dealt with her.
Hubby: Please take it easy. We are very sorry. It's just a misunderstanding, maybe your wife misinterpreted what she said.
Hubby: But Copido called me too and started accusing me of all sorts. Blablablablabla
So hubby begged and pleaded on my behalf and Uncle To said 'it was okay'

He lied.

First thing Monday morning, I called my account officer to stop the N75k cheque and I texted Uncle To's wife to advise her the cheque had been stopped for now.

My grand-father called me later that morning to invite me to a family meeting that evening.

Damn! I was only trying to help, men!!

So I called hubby and he said he would tag along as a witness and tried to cheer me on.

Go Copi! Go Baby! Go Copi! Go Baby!

I texted Mum to update her and she didn't reply till evening.

She asked me to be calm and to send her a missed call as soon as I got there.

She wanted me to put her on speaker phone and my mum is a tigress.

*Sigh*

In attendance were me, hubby, Grampa, Grampa's wife, Uncle To, Uncle To's wife, Uncle To's elder brother, Uncle To's mum, My mum (on speaker phone) and My mum's sister.
Hubby and I greeted everyone generally, Uncle To ignored me.

Uncle To's wife was told to narrate what happened and she was totally honest.
However, she had decided to get home first to make her husband's dinner before proceeding to her mother-in-law's and while she was cooking, uncle To got home, found her bag on the bed, went thru it and found my cheque.
He confronted her and she said she was going back to school and moving on with her life and I had given her the cheque to help.
So he concluded that she was leaving him and he called Grampa, his mother-in-law and his mum.
His mum called Grampa with her own version and Grampa called Mum's sister and Mum(Do you get it?)

I confirmed what she said was true and the 'elders' asked her why she hadn't discussed this issue with her husband first.
She said she had done so several times and that she was ashamed to discuss it with anyone because it was so embarrassing.
They insisted she should have confided in her in-laws: her hubby's siblings or mum and that she had no business involving me.
They were beginning to lay the blame on the poor gal when mum spoke up: Excuse me!!!!! Why are you blaming this gal, when you should be asking To why he's not performing his manly duties. If a man's house is in order...........

Uncle To: Copido, please can you excuse us?
The 'elders' agreed Uncle To's wife and I should leave and that hubby could stay....

Reatives that Suck II

2007-08-22T11:39:00.002+01:00

So I called my uncle.

Me: Hello Uncle To

Uncle: Ha! Copido, how are you baby?

Me: (crying) Uncle To, why now?

Uncle:(alarmed) Copido, what's wrong. Are you okay? Is your mum okay and your bros and sis and your husband nko? Copido answer me what's wrong?

Me: Uncle To, it's you. It's you and what you are doing.

Uncle: Okay firstly, I'm sorry for whatever I've done wrong. Now can you tell me what I've done that's making you cry like this.

Me: It's the way you are treating your wife

Silence

Uncle: (a hint of anger) What do you mean?

Me: Has she offended you? Why aren't you sleeping with her?

Uncle: What did you just say?

Me: I just found out you haven't touched your wife in two years.

Uncle: Copido, you are mad. Am I your mate? How dare you talk to me like that? Who told you this rubbish? What's your business, sef? What is your business?

Me: There's no need to insult me. If you don't want her as your wife anymore, why cant you let her go so she can start her life again. Uncle To, remember you reap what you sow. What goes around comes around. I've done my part......

Uncle: Ah Ah. Abi I'm dreaming ke? How dare you Copido! How dare you!

Me: (still crying) What you are doing is not good and I wont condone it.

Uncle: Hissed and hung up

Since he didn't deny it, I concluded he was guilty as charged so I returned to the lobby and I asked his wife if he had ever been violent towards her or shown any tendency for violence.

She said he had never laid a hand on her so I told her what i had done and I asked if she wanted to listen to my advice.

She urged me to go on.

I advised her that it wasn't too late to start her life again.

She could go back to school or learn a trade and be less of a liability to others.

I advised her to discuss this issue with her mother-in-law because mothers have a way of sorting these things out.

And if he says he doesn't want her as his wife anymore, I advised her to move on with her life.

She started crying again and she said she couldnt go back to her parents because they hadnt forgiven her for getting pregnant so basically, she didn't have anywhere to go.....(sigh)

I told her to contact family members that can help beg her parents to take her back, that there is no way they(at east her mum) would turn her to the streets.

She said she wanted to learn bead-making and dress-making but she couldn't afford to pay for the courses.

So I wrote her a cheque for N75000, N50k for the courses and N25k for herself.

She said she was going to pass the night at her mum-in-law's place and she sent a text to her hubby in my presence.

What do you reckon?

Relatives that Suck!!!

2007-08-19T18:14:00.000+01:00

Just a quick post peeps.
Hubby's hosting a couple of friends in the living area.
My uncle's wife's sitting across from me in our small lobby area.
Her husband is my mum's younger half-brother.
She's crying quietly and inconsolably and wiping her eyes with her wrapper.
My eyes are red and sore too from crying....
Here's why...

They've been married four years.
She took in before they got married.
Sadly, she had a stillbirth and hasn't conceived since then.
And she's only twenty-two years old
My bastard uncle, has stopped sleeping with her for two years....

She's gone on her knees and begged me to please help talk to her husband.
How can I do this?
Someone tell me he's not sleeping around.
Someone tell me he's not blaming her.
Someone tell me he's not my uncle.....

Call me stupid, but I'm calling him now.
He got this girl pregnant and her family threw her out and she dropped out of school and now this...
I'm gonna talk some sense into his head...
Shoot me if you like....

Do Not Disturb.......SssssshhhH

2007-08-17T04:27:00.000+01:00

Ssssshhhh!
Do not disturb!
Honeymoon in Progress!

Princesa, be warned(lol)

Gosh! I'm Cheating....I'm on Pills

2007-08-08T16:19:00.003+01:00

Hubby's been boasting all week about enjoying himself as he's only working half-day now.
He's going to a beach in Cape Town tomorrow.
He's also been working out in the gym and he says he's sooo fit now that the babes can't get their eyes off him.
*Sigh*
Well, I confess haven't been exercising.
I confess haven't been eating right either.
I further confess I've not been keeping away from Beef Suya, Ice-Cream, Pop Corn, Shawarma, Chinese take-aways, Pastries, TFC (Africana), etc.
I confess I've not cooked in more than a week?
I confess I have been eating out mostly with my sister.(sigh)
I confess I bought two exercise DVDs in Johannesburg, and I've only managed 7minutes out of 90minutes,
I confess the will to exercise is sooooo haaaaaard!!
Lastly, I confess I've decided to lose weight by cheating.

I'm sure fitness instructors have to work out for months/years to be able to work 90minutes NONSTOP
Gosh! (sighing)
So, I'm currently living on cereal(bran) , fruits and Holland & Barrett's Apple Cider Vinegar tablets.
Those tablets have worked wonders on my tummy already in less than a week.
I've been taking two tablets, three times daily.
My Iraqi friend swore they worked wonders and forced me to buy it and I honestly have no regrets whatsoever!!!
I bought the 200tablets pack in Victoria, London since last year.
Hubby's gonna be so gobsmacked when he sees me.
Mmmmmh, cheating is so exciting........
What do you reckon?

Saffa Gists IV

2007-08-07T09:33:00.000+01:00

Sadly, I couldn't make the trip to Gold Reef City the next day as hubby had plans.
He drove us to Sandton City where we had quality time together.
We were holding on to each other most of the time and window-shopping.
I showed hubby the breath-taking jewellery set and he teased me about being vain.
He warned that such things are a pure waste of money and they attract unnecessary attention: like armed robbers(Hubby's theory) lol.
We had lunch and dinner at the square and hubby bought a set of his and hers Citizen wristwatches, we also took a Natural walk tour and appreciated the beauties of nature.
During our walk tour, hubby and I took pictures together with lovely birds and natural garden scenery as backgrounds.
One peacock(peashrew, more like) kept chasing after my hubby and flapping its wings.
It was very comical, though hubby didn't find it funny. He said it was a 'witch-bird'
At some point during the walk tour, I thought hubby was standing beside me and I grabbed a handful of 'his bum' playfully.
Hubby was wearing khaki shorts, but the bum in my hand was covered in a soft fabric and very soft.
I turned and behold, I was pinching the wrong bum, a middle-aged, white guy's bum.
Luckily, he didn't think I was perving cos he laughed when I apologised and said: 'Never mind'
Hubby was almost breaking apart with laughter as he teased me about my public displays of affection, not that he's ever complained.
We had dinner after our tour and drove back to the hotel where we........
Hubby said we'ld go to Capetown during the next weekend but sadly, it didn't happen as I had to come back home.

I drove us to Gold Reef City the next day, while hubby gave directions from a map.
His unmarried colleague tagged along.
We got soooooo lost, sooooo many times but we finally made it there.
It was very, very cold that day but we maximised our time together.
We were like teenagers as we dared each other to go on the scariest rides in the theme park.
As hubby drove us back, his colleague teased us about our fondness for each other.
He said: I go marry oh. I must marry oyibo wifee oh. Ahn! Ahn! Babes this, Babes that, Babes smile, Babes Noooo, Yes Babes, Babes. Babes. Babes. Babes. Babes. Babes. Ah Na wa oooooo.
Laughs.
I hope this feeling of fondness never ends.
I pray hubby and I would be happy forever.
I know it's not impossible...........

In Summary,
I went to Gold Reef City again with Ke and Aa (though I had to pay for some of their rides as punishment for not turning up the last time).
We also met for lunch and went to the cinema to watch "Harry Potter & d..Phoenix" (Long Title, I can't remember it all)
I disgraced myself at the cinema, by sleeping off and 'SNORING!!!!!'
Nobody's ever told me that I snore but, Ke recorded it on his phone and I heard it with my ears.
Damn!!!
I tried to stay awake afterwards, even though I had argued bitterly about the 'Harry Potter' choice of movie.
I don't watch Sci-fi, Horror, Action etc, just Drama and Romance and the occasional Thriller.
We bid farewell to each other with a trip to a souvenir market and a gay nightclub in Joburg.
I met soooooooo many homosexuals.
The 'girly homosexuals' kept saying 'us girrrrls'
Hubby had warned me seriously about any 'Truth or Dare' games.
I wasn't allowed to drink, or dare anyone, or kiss anyone or lose my rings or do anything...(lol).
It was fun though and Ke and Aa promised to visit me in Nigeria in the near future..which I don't believe.
I returned to Nigeria with just one piece of luggage, I wish i went to CapeTown and SunCity though.
But I enjoyed myself immensely even though I didn't do any shopping.
I hope I've covered everything?????
Back to the present.
Hubby's coming back next week....yippee!
& A kel Called Wonder: I haven't been given an appointment letter.
Those people are beginning to piss me off....(lol)

Saffa Gists III

2007-08-06T07:44:00.000+01:00

I was feeling quite cold so I walked into a cafe to buy coffeee.....
Voice 1: (loudly) Nooooooo! Noooooooo!
Voice 2: You f**king bitch!
It was a friendly gay couple from my last office.
I'll identify them by the first two letters of their names: Ke and Aa.
Me: Oh Noooo! I can't believe my eyes, I must be dreaming!
Ke: No, you're not you silly cow
Me: Shut up and give me a hug
So we hugged and kissed cheeks: Muah, Muah and sat down for coffee and cappuccino.
Aa was fired from work for going AWOL, so Ke resigned in protest.
Ke's currently working freelance with Sky Broadcasting while Aa's unemployed and on benefits.
They were in Saffa on holiday and staying with another gay couple in Joburg.
I told them I had gotten married and I was in SA with my hubby and we were staying in the company's guesthouse in Johannesburg.
Ke: Did you marry a fit bloke?
Me: Of course
Ke: Do you think he'll f**k me?
Me: Shut up and don't be rude
Ke: Just joking...
Aa: Can we visit and get drunk? This place is fucking expensive and I'm f**king broke.
Me: Aa, you're always broke! You better sort yourself out. Have you guys done any shopping? I've just seen some jewelery and I was almost tempted to spend a fortune.
Ke: Us 'girrrrls' haven't done any shopping and honestly, I can't be bothered with shopping. I just want to have fun, do lots of sight-seeing and have a relaxing holiday.
Aa: Me too. I'll buy a couple of souvenirs though.
Ke: Yeah. Just souvenirs. I shop every f**king day in the UK. I'm not hauling f**king shopping bags around during my f**king holiday.
Me: So what have you been doing?
Aa: We went to SunCity every fu*king day during our first week and got super broke.
Ke: And we've been to.......(Lists off about a dozen or so tourist spots) And then we're off to The Lion Park tomorrow to roar the fuck out of their f**king lions. I'm going to see a real life cheetah for the first time in my f**king life. If I am reincarnated, I've got to be a f**king cheetah.
Aa: I'll have to be a rhino.
Ke: Fucking hell....
Aa:Stop swearing Ke, y'know Coppie's (abbreviates my real name) posh and she hates swearing.
Me: (sigh) So when are you returning to the UK?
Ke: Next weekend.
Me: Do you have to prebook a ticket to see the lions?
Ke: We don't have prebooked tickets. Do u want to hang out with us?
Me: Okay.....

So we made arrangements to meet @ 11am, the next day @ The Square.
I gisted hubby about my day out and arrangements for the next day.
He advised me to be careful with the 'gay bastards'
I assured him they were nice and harmless and we were quite close back in the UK.
The next morning, Mrs VWX asked if I was going anywhere, so I told her I was going to The Lion Park with friends from the UK.
She asked if I was driving but I said I wasn't familiar with the road network and I was going by public transport.
Surprisingly, she said she'll go with me.
Ke and Aa turned up with the other gay couple.
When I introduced Mrs VWX to my gay friends, she was very unfriendly and won't even accept a handshake.
She muttered condescendingly in pidgin: Which kind people be this? You know tell me say na this type people you dey waka with. Abeg, when you dey come back. I no go again, I no fit dey waka with this kind people. I go just look around here and wait for you. (grumbling, grumbling)
So we left her but Ke didn't let it go.
Ke: Fucking bitch! She's so f**king rude!!! That's f**king discrimination....
Me: Hush, hush....

We left for The Lion Park and soon forgot about her.
As we drove through the park, I saw many animals including lions and jackals at very close range and I sat down quietly, tense with fear and praying quietly.
My friends were excited and asking questions and snapping away.
When Ke and Aa entered a 'secure area' where they actually felt and took pictures with baby hyenas, lion cubs and other animals, the Nigerian in me, wasn't that adventurous despite many assurances......
Mmmmmh, I don't want an obituary titled: Eaten by lions and other wild animals.....
Our guide pointed out different animals, some I've never even heard of.
I loved the zebra most.
I used to think girraffes were graceful but up close, they are quite ugly???
Ke squealed like he was having sex when we saw the cheetahs and asked if we could get as close as possible.
He won't shut up even when the guide told him to keep it quiet so as not to startle the animals.

In all, I learnt holidays shouldn't always be about shopping till I drop and that I must ALWAYS research before going sightseeing.
I honestly didn't know we were going to drive through a park filled with wild animals (safari style).
You see, I thought the animals would be caged.
I doubt Mrs VWX woulda enjoyed herself......
She found her way back to the guesthouse and I didn't see her stepping out of that guest house till I left SA.
I arranged to meet Ke and Aa the next day for a trip to 'Gold Reef City'
Hubby laughed so hard when I told him about introducing Mrs VWX(now nicknamed "madam") to my friends

Saffa Gists II

2007-08-04T21:35:00.000+01:00

So I called hubby.

Me: Babes, what do you reckon? I've just splurged on jewelery.

Hubby: (laughs): What have you bought?

Me: Promise you won't be mad....

Hubby (pauses): ........ What do you mean?

Me: I bought this 18carat yellow gold set...

Hubby: Is it for me?

Me: Nooooo

Hubby: So why should I be mad?

Me: It's equivalent to almost $2000

Hubby: What?

Me: It's not $2000, it's almost....

Hubby: I heard you the first time. You don't have that much on you.

Me: I'm using the rest of my ticket money and I have my credit card with me

Hubby: Babes, I'm saying no and I would be very cross with you if you bring that........thing home.

Me: Babes, this is the only thing I want from this trip. I promise I won't buy anything else. And I don't even think I can return it because I know that as a health precaution, most retailers dont accept earrings back.

Hubby: Mmmmmmmh? What's wrong with all the jewelery you have at home plus those big ones your mum gave you and all the beads you have acquired? Copido what's wrong with them? (When my hubby calls me by my name, it's the first sign of anger)

Me: Nothing

Hubby: Copido, if you continue this sort of impulsive buying do you think we can ever own anything of value? We may as well forget about any Christmas holiday

Me: Awwwwww Babes! Just because of $1800

Hubby: I've got to go

Me: I was only joking oh

Hubby (pauses)......You are sick!
Laughs.
So I DID NOT BUY IT OH!!!!

Like Hubby said, what I have is more-than-sufficient.......and I agree....and honestly, I guess I just wanted to splurge unnecessarily on heavy jewelery.
My Mum travels to Milan often to buy gold and she's been very generous to me, she even gave me the three different sets of gold accessories I used during my traditional wedding and reception.
Gosh, am I getting vain or stupid or both?

Sigh.....

What do you reckon?

Saffa Gist 1

2007-07-31T13:15:00.000+01:00

Where do I start from????
Something came up at hubby's office and four of them had to leave for South Africa on Monday.
He told me he might be gone for 6weeks and advised me to invite someone over to stay with me.
I thought: 6weeks??!! Mmmmmh!
I started racking my brain and wondering if there was anyone I could invite over for 6weeks...

Me: Babes, we haven't even furnished the guest-room.

Hubby: You can get that done in a day or two. How much will you need.

Me: (In my best bedroom voice) Babes, I don't wanna be alone.

Hubby: Sorry, babes.

Me: I can't really think of anyone....

Hubby started suggesting names of some friends and relatives but I've not been in this country for long so I'm not actually that 'close' to many of them and the few I won't have minded having around are married or working.

Hubby: Think about it, there has to be one person that won't freak you out.

So I thought hard and suggested to go with hubby if it meant paying for my ticket.
He said that wasn't an option because it was an official trip, not a holiday.
Then he called a colleague and joked that his wife wanted to accompany him to SA.
And the colleague said Mr VWX was going with his wife and that alternative accommodation arrangements could be made for us if hubby requested.
Yippeeee!!!
So hubby requested for a bigger accommodation for two and told me to start packing and offered to pay for half my ticket.
We were both sooo excited.
Hubby called the airline to book a business class ticket for me as he was flying business class.
Over the weekend, we withdrew as much as we could from our bank accounts using our ATM cards and on Monday, I quietly paid for a seat in economy.
I lied to hubby that there were no more seats in business class except I didnt mind being on 'reserved' so I had opted for economy instead. (I know that was evil)
There were many vacant seats in business class when the plane took off so hubby asked an air-hostess to upgrade me to business class despite my numerous 'i'm fine' protests.
I wasn't ready to pay double money for what I could get at half(hehehehehe) and Mr VWX's wife was also traveling economy anyways so I stood my ground.
Hubby said I had embarrassed him by flying in a economy when we agreed on business class.
So I promised to upgrade my return ticket9fingers crossed at the back)
A driver....oh sorry, I meant chauffeur met us at the airport and whisked us off to our accommodation: a nice chalet in Joburg with swimming pool, tennis courts, about 4 common/sitting areas, 2restaurants and a bar
Our bedroom was homely. Large but not intimidating bed with matching dressing tables and a large double-mirror.
The bathroom was done in cream and sky blue.
I stayed indoors for two days, it was so cold!
On Day 3, hubby made car hire arrangements and suggested I made friends with Mrs VWX as I was complaining of boredom.
The woman kept saying all she wanted to do was 'rest' so I left the chalet on day 3 hoping to locate Sandton City but that didn't happen as I just enjoyed driving round and round till I got bored and returned to the chalet.
On Day 4, I asked someone in the restaurant if she knew how I could get to Sandton Town and she said she only knew how to get to Sandton City(correction) on public transport, so I went to Mrs VWX again and asked if she wanted to go with me.
She didn't sound interested so off I went.
All I wanted to buy was fantastic jewellery.
And I had half of my 'business class ticket fare', my shopping allowance and my offshore bank card.
I eventually arrived at the Nelson Mandela Square and I had to restrict myself from splurging on everything my eyes saw and loved.
I reminded myself, just jewellery, just jewellery, jewellery first, jewellery first.
Many many things I loved but what I loved most was an 18carat choker chain with a built in pendant and matching earrings: $1800.
The only thing in my wardrobe that cost over 1000pounds is my wedding dress, oh and my rings.
Should I?
Should I not?
Should I?
Should I not?

Sincere Apologies

2007-07-29T09:13:00.003+01:00

I am still here.
I had fun in South Africa.
I accompanied hubby on an official trip but I had to return early for a final job interview...Phew!
I had a lot of fun, I even ran into my gay friends from the UK and we had SOME fun!!!
I am doing a long post on that.
My sister's also around from the States and she's staying with me.
Hubby's not back till mid-August and we talk everyday.
Both generators have packed up.
I'm cruising around in my hubby's jeep..lol
Some keys are not working on my laptop so I'm having to copy and paste some letters.
And I also had a fallout with some 'so-called' friends who have been badmouthing me.
But I'm fine and I thank you all for all your comments.
I'm working undercover till my sister leaves.
She really likes our home.
I'll stop here and post a long one during the week.

BTW, I am meeting with that company's HR department tomorrow.......I think I'll be getting my appointment letter.

I'm Back........!!!

2007-07-21T00:45:00.000+01:00

.....................................From South Africa.
Please bear with me while I settle i

7 Things About Me

2007-07-07T16:40:00.000+01:00

i) Reality TV Addict

Thanx to Eastenders, Coronation Street, Nollywood films etc, I detest all soap operas/series.
I hate the fact that they just keep going on and on and never end and I hate films with Parts 1, 2, 3 etc.
Instead, I'm a Reality TV addict!!!!
I absolutely love reality shows: The Apprentice(Sir Alan's), Shipwrecked, Dragon's Den, Big Brother, Celebrity Big Brother, I'm A Celebrity Get Me Outta Here, X-Factor, American Idol, Laugh out Loud, Strictly Come Dancing, Deal or No Deal, Hell's Kitchen, Supernanny, Wife Swap, Extreme Makeover, America's Next Top Model, Fear Factor, Joe Millionaire, The Weakest Link, Who Wants To be a Millionaire ....... and no, I don't watch Lost, Spooks, Desperate Housewives etc. No thank you!!!

ii) Toilet FreAK

I hate using any toilet that's not mine and I never leave home without toilet roll.
I’ll tell you why.
Before I use any loo, I wrap my left-hand with tissue to lift the toilet-seat and then I put layers of tissue into the toilet-bowl to prevent spatter and then I squat over the toilet bowl to wee or poo.
When I’m done, I wrap my hand in tissue again to flush the toilet, open the cubicle door and turn the tap to wash my hands.
I always use the last tap in public toilets cos I think it’s rarely used therefore not so 'germful'. (lol)
If there’s a pedal-bin, I dump my tissue in there but if it’s one of the bins u have to push with ur hands, I’m dumping it on the floor...…

iii) Sean Bramingham -Coxwell

He was native American, tall, and lean, with firm muscles in the right place.
He was clean-shaven, had deep-blue eyes that saw into the depth of my soul and his voice was a clear, deep, unique and sexy baritone.
He had long brown hair, that he tied back into a neat ponytail.
He had a mighty big ranch in Texas with the best Arabian horses.
He was called ‘A Mighty Heart’ and he was the head of a native American clan.
He called me ‘Passion Princess’ and he had fallen in love with me at first sight.
He kidnapped me one sunny afternoon and we got married at a big, empty chapel.
He was the perfect gentleman and loved by all his clan.
He bought me lovely dresses and he made me a potion that made my hair grow long and silky. We went to the theatre together, did all our shopping together and we lived happily though we were envied by many.
We had the most beautiful children in America: The twins: Alexander (Alex) and Alexandra (Alexa) Bramingham Coxwell and the triplets: Phillippa (Pippa), Phillip (Philly) and Pearly(Pea) Bramingham-Coxwell.
I fell in love with Sean when I was ten.
I’m smiling like an idiot, because Sean Bramingham-Coxwell was a fantasy man(built out of my imaginations) but he was my imaginary boyfee for years and no peeps, I don't think about him any more......I swear......
*Sigh*
Look what all those years of Mills and Boon, Harlequin Romance, Silhouette and Historical Romance did to me..

iv) Camera

I looooooooove the camera.
Come on, give it to me, smile, pout, turn around, bend your knee, clutch your bag in front of you, no beside you, tilt your head, give me that sexy look.....lol.
That's me practising my picture perfect pose in front of the mirror before leaving home.
I'm like Paris Hilton with the camera, I mean on the other side of the camera.
Gosh, I'm so vain!!!!
I actually own two digital cameras (prize possessions) and I never miss an opportunity to have my pictures taken. (My victims: Mr P, my neighbour's househelp, hubby and innocent bystanders at parties).
Thank GOD, no Nigerian party is complete without freelance photographers: I'll take portrait shots, half- and full-length shots and side view shots from almost every photographer I lay my eyes on and yes, I always have the perfect pose pre-prepared.
I've been featured a few times in some of those fashion mags and I looked lovely even though I wasn't even aware I was being snapped by paparazzi (lol).
We also have some photographers in church who are always snapping away once they sight me/ hubby and I...and hubby hates it!!! (lol)
Infact, I have a website that has all my pictures, family, hubby, friends et al, but it's got very restricted access

v) Bathing Sponge

The only bathing sponge I use is kon-kon (the native/traditional, coarse and stranded Yoruba sponge made from trees? and usually yellowish in colour).
If I scrub with anything else, I'll feel filthy and in need of a proper scrub.
When I was living abroad, I always made my relatives buy and DHL kon-kon to me. (lol)
And when I'm travelling or staying over @ a friends, the first thing I pack is fresh kon-kon.
On our wedding night, hubby almost fainted when I brought out my kon-kon to bathe.
You shoulda seen the look on his face, like: "Are you having a laugh?".
I explained I've been using kon-kon since I was a child and can't use any other sponge.
He said he never knew I was so razz deep under. Whatever!!!!

vi) Selective Mutism

I had selective mutism (It's an extreme form of shyness) as a child.
Unfortunately, it went unnoticed as I was a completely different person at home and around close friends and families.
I also had excellent grades so I don't blame my teachers and parents for not noticing (lol)
I had treatment in Canada but sadly, I was like 16 when I met Dr Lucy (my psychiatrist) and by then I was quite comfortable with it and learning to deal with it.
It's not uncommon for people to tag me as: 'snobbish'/'having an attitude problem'/'having a personality problem'/'having a personality disorder'/'stand-offish' etc but if you get to know me proper, I'm just a shy snail who really wants to be friends with you but needs to be comfy with you first.
And yeah, I was a geek, back in school.....

Vii) Warm Spaces

I hope I don't I sound like a freak but I can not stand warm spaces: warm beds, seats, etc.
I just can not bring myself to sit in a space that has just been vacated by someone else.
I don't like it when someone's bare skin touches mine (except hubby's of course) and my sister hated sharing the same room with me cos I would wake her up many times at night to 'move to her side'.
When I was in the UK, I always told my colleagues (school/work) upfront so they don't get offended when I don't sit when they offer me a seat or when I place a cushion on seats they just vacated.
And yes, I'm that annoying girl in the bus/tube who has an empty seat beside her and wont sit or move over so you can sit. (lol)
Crikey!! It's cos I'm waiting for the seat to cool.

What do you reckon, peeps?

Am I weird?

uhhhhing and ahhhing

2007-07-05T10:57:00.000+01:00

I've just been uuuuhhing and aaaahhhing and crying.
I just watched Larry King's interview with Larry Birkhead (Anna Nicole's former boyfee and her baby's father).
Dannielynn Hope (the baby) was also brought into the studio and she was all smiles (...so cute) as she grabbed her daddy's microphone and Larry King's mike too.
That baby is so gorgeous, I've never seen a baby so beautiful!!!
Like L. King said, it's so sad Anna Nicole died and is missing all of these.....
But I like Larry Birkhead and I reckon he'll make a great dad...he's so cute!
If I wasn't married I woulda said more (lol)
So no further comments....

Going Shopping With Hubby

2007-07-01T23:26:00.001+01:00

Yesterday, hubby and I went jogging and walking for 83minutes.
Okay, I lied, hubby jogged while I walked and 'semi-jogged' (lol) but we did 83minutes anyway.
When we got home, hubby did some 'press-ups' and a few minutes on the cross-trainer.
My hubby's already looking good and toned and I'm getting jealous.....
We had whole wheat bread for breakfast. Hubby had his with sardine stew while I had two slices with strawberry jam and peppermint tea.

Later in the afternoon, we were @ Shoprite to do some of this month's shopping.
We got two trolleys: my trolley was for items on the shopping list while his was for 'unplanned purchases' (lol)
I followed my shopping list religiously and I told hubby I was headed for the frozen food section, where I always end my shopping.
I was minding my business and trying to choose the chicken packs with the biggest parts/flesh when some guy wheeled his trolley next to mine.

Guy: Sorry, is this the chicken section?
Me: Yeah
Guy: What's the difference?
Me: The packs are labeled.
Guy: (picks a pack) I'm sorry but can I say something?
Me: Sure
Guy: I’ve been watching you and I like the way you are carefully selecting your meat. I mean some other people just come and pick anything but you are obviously taking your time to select the best
Me: I'm only looking for the bigger packs but it makes no difference really cos the packs are weighed and priced per kilo
Guy: Really? Just like they do abroad
I pretend not to hear him
Guy: You know, if you are selecting your meat with so much care, I have no doubt your soup is going to be very delicious....
Me: Thanks
Guy: My name is Victor; I’m in the movie industry. Can I meet you?
Me: Not really. Look, I'm married (I waved my left hand)
Guy: I'm so sorry, I didn’t notice. Gosh, I'm so embarassed (laughs). Is your husband around?
I turned and saw hubby further down the aisle. I blew him a kiss and he waved back.
Guy: This is so embarrassing! Let's just pretend I'm seeking your opinion on the meat...
Me: There's no need for that, bye!

I picked some packs of packed chicken and pushed my trolley towards my hubby.
I’m not making anymore ‘Dude’ mistakes.

Hubby's trolley had some of his toiletries, decaffeinated coffee and coffee-mate (for the office), shoe polish, brush and shiner, ponmo?! (It's burnt animal hide, said to have no nutrients, but it's a Nigerian soup delicacy), a Binatone rechargeable lantern?!, car wash fluid, car air fresheners, Rim Polisher??? Car this and that and that

Me: Babes, why ponmo, lantern and all these car things?
Hubby: (laughs) This is my trolley babes, so mind your business.
Me: Make sure you don't ask me for any money.
Hubby: You know I won’t
Me: I mean it, babes
Hubby: Let’s see who is going to ask who for money.

We went to separate tills and hubby joined me when he was done.
Hubby: (whispering) Your wallet is with me
Me: Damn!
Hubby: (laughing) Duh!!!
Me: So how much have you spent?
Hubby: You better check how much you have left. (He hands back my wallet)
Me: This is the last time we're shopping together.

Luckily, I had more than enough money anyway.
I drove to a market further down the road where I planned to buy and grind pepper.
It was a mistake.
Hubby sighted some meat-sellers? and we ended up buying 'assorted meats': kidney, fuku (lungs), roundabout and abodi??? amidst serious protests from me.

Hubby and I had no idea how to cook or clean them as I personally, have never ever eaten them in my life so I called good, old, reliable mum.
First, she scolded me for taking hubby to the market and then she scolded me for letting hubby buy 'those nonsense, disease carrying assorted parts'' and then she warned not to allow him eat it again, and then she advised that fish, chicken and turkey is best and then she offered to call me back.

*Sigh* Mothers!
She told me how to clean and cook them and made me repeat her instructions till they were crystal clear.
I had to clean the abodi and roundabout with alum, remove the surrounding fat, turn inside out (abodi) and parboil in boiling water.

I also parboiled the fuku & kidney and I was disgusted as the clotted blood flowed out of the veins/arteries.

Yuck! I'm surprised I didn't puke.
I seasoned and cooked everything and made soup, I didnt use the stock.
Hubby ate it alone, with rice and he said it was delicious.
I did give him a lecture though.

Me: You know I've never touched those assorted meats before
Hubby: (fingerlicking, mouth full) Delicious! mmmmh. Very Delicious. Thanks
Me; Babes, it’s not healthy so you wouldn't be eating it again.
Hubby: It's healthier than meat
Me: Maybe. But it also carries most diseases
Hubby: Like?
Me: Kidney stones, cancer of the lungs, cancer of the bowels
Hubby: Hehehhehehehehehe (laughing) My wife!!!!
I am laughing too and hubby tries to kiss me, I dodged: Not with that mouth!
He starts chasing me round the dining area, we're both laughing hard, luckily, our washerman arrived and I escaped the 'assorted meat' kiss (lol)

Why Am I Crying?

2007-06-29T15:06:00.000+01:00

I got out of bed this morning to make breakfast for hubby and I just started crying uncontrollably.
I sat on the plastic stool in my kitchen and just cried.
No provocation, just self pity.
I'm bored and lonely and sick of staying home and playing housewife and not getting preggers.
I cried my eyes out and then put four slices of bread in the toaster.
I microwaved a can of baked beans with dry pepper and garlic and I made two cups of Ginger tea.
And then I went back to bed to continue crying.
Hubby got out of the shower and started dressing up so I tried to stop crying but the traitorous tears wont stop.

Hubby: Babes, what's wrong?

I was crying so hard that I was almost chocking.
I am such an emotional mess!
Hubby held me while I cried my heart out and then I apologised and told him not to mind me but he won't have that, so i told him: I'm bored and lonely and jobless and just fed up.

Hubby: Is it my fault?

Me: No, no, not at all. I just woke up from the wrong side of bed.

Hubby: No, it means that's what you've been thinking about.

Me: Babes, please just drop it

Hubby: Do you want to look into getting an office space to start something...

Me: Not yet. I am a career person. I'll like to make a name in the industry before retiring to start my own 'thing'

Hubby: I just feel you're blaming me somehow, maybe for bringing you back home

Me: I swear I'm not....I'll never but the boredom is just creeping into my veins and making me cry.

It was raining outside.
We sat together hugging and then kissing and then ___doing the 'making-babies techniques' (lol) and then we held each other and slept off till past 900am when NEPA struck.
Hubby was EXTREMELY late for work and breakfast was cold.
Hubby grumbled about all these 'ajebutter' food as we ate breakfast.
And then I started crying and saying it'll be just me @ home after hubby left....
*Sigh*
I couldn't stop crying and it annoyed me even more so i kept asking hubby: Why can't I stop crying? What's wrong with me?

Poor hubby just looked confused and asked; Should I stay home?

I shook my head in reply.

Hubby: Do you want to meet up for lunch?

No! No! I just wanna cry....

Hubby: But it's not like you got a job and I said don't work....

Me: Stop it! Stop it!!

So I went to the room to cry some more and hubby just stood watching me.
And I slept off and didnt even know when hubby left for work.
I've called hubby to apologise but he's not picking.
I'm sure he's upset and I'm really cross with myself....
Or is this a form of depression?
I'm scared of me.....
What do you reckon?

I'm A Wonderful Wife

2007-06-26T14:23:00.000+01:00

I made oats porridge for hubby yesterday morning before he left for work.
He called me in the afternoon because he wasn't too sure about what to have for lunch.
I suggested fish and salad.
Hubby: You better be serious, babes. Right now, I'm thinking yam porridge or amala.
Me: Maybe amala with ewedu and fish, please mind the salt
Hubby: Amala is solid
Me: So is yam porridge but amala is lighter
Hubby: Okay

I sent Mr P out to buy fuel for the car and the generators, he was gone all day so I was stuck at home.
I made fish sauce with chopped fresh peppers and onions.
I added one knorr cube and salt for taste and put about two teaspoons of garlic powder....and honestly, it tasted all right, no curry, thyme, tumeric or puree
I called hubby @ six to ask if he wanted macaroni or spaghetti for dinner.
Hubby laughed and said he'ld call me back to let me know.

He called @ about 800pm, he was @ the clinic and his BP was 140/90, it had gone up a bit and the doctor was suggesting his high BP might have been caused by work-related stress.
Hubby: Babes, I'm really starving...do you still have vegetable soup in the freezer?
Me: Yep! But I've made fish sauce for pasta
Hubby: Babes, me I can't eat pasta, I need something solid, like eba. I'm very hungry!
Me: Pasta will do, babes.

Hubby did not eat pasta.
He ate eba with vegetable soup and my fish sauce, I had Golden Morn cereal.
I've told hubby I might have to start locking my store and freezers to enforce our new timetable.
Isn't it hilarious...we agreed on solid food thrice a week and he's had solids twice in one day and it's only Tuesday.
After his eba, hubby was too tired to do any exercise and I barely managed 7minutes on the cross trainer.....*Sigh*
I didn't hear the alarm so I couldn't make him breakfast but he had cereal and fish sauce and left the plates on my dining table.
I really need to start locking my kitchen...

BTW, last night in bed, after_____, hubby said: Babes, you are a wonderful wife.
Me(Kiss): You're a wonderful hubby too
Hubby: I mean it
I smiled.
Hubby: You know, when I decided to marry you, it was because I loved everything about you. I never knew that you could be so caring...You really stood by me during my brief illness and you kept it between us, you didn't blab to anyone. Babes, I'm honoured and I love you even more now
Me: (Smiling sheepishly, ooops, I told my blog) Would you do the same for me?
Hubby: I swear, I'll do even more. Thanx babes.
Me: Will you say it on a cake.
Hubby: No cakes, remember we're dieting

After hubby had slept off, I remembered how I had stayed beside him all day, not eating or drinking because I was fasting and how I stroked his back when the IV shots were administered slowly and how I jumped for joy each time the BP reading went lower and I smiled.....
Yeaman! Me is a very good wifee and I've been blessed with a wonderful hubby.....

Dinner is boiled plantain with vegetables....(lol) and I'm gonna ensure hubby eats ti.
I'm off to buy some fruits: pineapple and watermelon
L8r

My First UK Shopping Experience

2007-06-26T11:43:00.000+01:00

I joined mum in the UK in 1992 when I was 14.
My JAMB score had been too low to secure a university admission.
Mum gave me £300 to get a new wardrobe and winter clothing, it was a lot of money then..
She asked a friend if her 'fashionable daughter' could take me to the shops.
’Miss Fashionable: (MF)’ arrived looking smashing: nice clothes, knee-length boots….
Mum gave her some 'transport money' and told her to help maximize my £300 shopping money.
She sounded like ‘oyibo’ to my bush self and when I tried to speak my own oyibo too, she said I sounded like an Indian and asked if I attended an Indian school back home?
That was quite embarrassing and I felt hurt afterall, I had an A1 in English Language so I shut my mouth.
We took the bus 73, then a routemaster, to Oxford Circus.

MF: (as we entered House of Fraser) I do most of my shopping here.
I thought wow! and I was eager to start shopping.
I almost tripped on the elevator as I looked at the splendor around me.
We finally arrived at the clothing section after some meandering.
MF: This is their winter range. Oh this jacket looks lovely! (It's a black leather looking jacket) And it's so cheap, just £300….....How much do you have again?
Me: £300
MF: Why not take this jacket, it’s on sale.
Me: But that's all the money I have for a new wardrobe
MF: (hiss) This jacket is top quality, designer made. It's unique and it'll last you for years!!! It is a very good buy!
Me: I'm also hoping I can buy boots and some turtle-neck sweaters.
MF: What??!!
I repeated myself.
MF: Can you talk slowly. I can't understand you
I repeated myself yet again, feeling deeply humiliated.
MF: Oh! Okay. Look around and let me know if there's anything u want.
Me: Is this where you bought your jacket?
MF: Hell no! I bought this one in Harrods.
Me: Can we go there?
MF: Trust me, it’s nowhere near £300

Eventually, I chose a navy blue knee length wool top-coat that wasn't all that.
It cost me £185 and it was hideous!
At Topshop, I bought a pair of knee-length, patent skin, stiletto-heeled boots for £65 and a pair of blue corduroy bottoms for £25
At Selfridges, I bought a dirty, blue turtle-neck sweater on clearance sale for £24.
I despised mum for humiliating me with her miserly £300.
On getting home, mum looked at my shopping and asked MF: House of Fraser? Selfridges? With £300?

MF said she had to hurry but mum insisted she stayed while we went through my shopping and did she yell when she saw my ‘lavish spending’
MF insisted I had selected everything myself and the shops were on sale.
MF’s ‘oyibo’ accent had suddenly disappeared.
Mum asked for my receipts and I told her MF had said we didn’t need them so we didn’t have any and couldn't return the goods.
Mum was F-U-R-I-O-U-S!
She called MF’s Mum on speaker phone.

Mum: My friend, I didn’t even ask where your daughter does her shopping
MF’s Mum: MF ke, you know she works with charity. She knows all the second-hand markets and charity shops in this London and she can bargain well well but I told her to ask your daughter if she doesn’t mind 2^nd hand first……..
Mum: Ehn, ehn. What of Selfridges et al?
MF’s Mum: Nooooo. All those charity shops sell designers oh, maybe just secondhand but they sell correct designers that sisi(s) {young gals} like.

Mum proceeded to report her daughter to her.
The woman was gobsmacked and apologized profusely.
MF was shedding crocodile tears and begging mum on her knees in Yoruba.
Mum said she had asked her to go with me so she could help me pick the things in vogue and she should have let her know that it wasn’t convenient.
Mum, MF and I went back to Oxford Street but there wasn’t much we could do as we didn’t have any receipts.
The sales assistants even helped check the bins behind the counter for the receipts but we didn't find anything.

MF & her mum came over the next day, apologizing yet again.
MF’s Mum explained MF was probably trying to show off and that she didn’t mean any harm.
She gave me €100.
Mum took a day off work to show me around Haringey: Florentyna Village, Wood Green, Green Lanes and u shoulda seen what I bought with 100quid.

MF, her sister and I became really close (3 Musketeers) and we laugh every time we remember how MF posed and made me waste my mum's precious money.
I was on MF's bridal train when she got married in 2003 and her first daughter bears my English name.
So be very careful who you ask to show you around a new country or you might fall into the hands of show-offs like MF (lol)

Peeps, come to think of it, why do girls like posing(showing off/being fake) ?
I can be very down-to-earth oh but if I pose for you.......

BTW, I never wore the sweater and those boots had killer heels, so I only wore them a couple of times,,,,,,what a waste!

Mermaid or Manmade?

2007-06-25T14:45:00.000+01:00

What do you reckon peeps?
Mermaid/Manmade?
Here's a link to where I found the pics: http://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-27039.0.html#msg657476
Gross!!!

Staying Healthy

2007-06-24T11:17:00.000+01:00

Peeps, I am sorry if the last post upset any of you.
It just shows how careless some so-called professionals can be.
BTW, how could I have forgotten...
While at the hospital, hubby suggested I should do a medical check too.
So I checked my BP: 120/80......Good!
My Weight: 86kg/189.6lb
BMI: 33.6, which implies 1st Class obesity!!!!
My ideal weight should be 141lb, 64kg!
I am carrying 22kg extra weight, darn!!!!
I am totally ashamed of myself, I was 75kg last November in the UK and my doctor warned me that I was very overweight!
I have since gained an extra 11kg in less than a year....oh damn!
Hubby's BMI is 27.4 also overweight but not obese.
I am awaiting the result of my cholesterol and blood sugar test.
Hubby and I are working together by exercising more and improving our diets.
Our immediate actions are:

No more red meat (especially suya....)
No more pastries/ice-cream
No more fried food
No alcohol
Very light breakfast. So far: oats, custard and cereal
No more sandwich toast
Pop up toasts allowed once a week, with no butter!
Solid food allowed thrice a week only: - poundo, eba, amala etc
Small portion lunch
Very light dinner, no more solid food @ night
At least 30mins/1hour exercise daily. So far: 1hr stroll on Thursday, 21minutes fast walking(uphill and downhill) on Friday and 15minutes on the cross trainer yesterday.

We are drawing up a food timetable, any suggestion(s) would be helpful.
Hubby's not liking this at all but he's been a good sport.
I have minimised salt, spices and cooking oil to the barest minimum
My food ain't that sweet anymore uuggghhh.

Check up

11am Friday, hubby's BP after taking medication: 130/90
7pm Friday, hubby's BP before medication: 160/100
We are seeing the doctor again today @ 2pm.
I am positive his BP would be back to normal again,
I love my hubby and I am sure he's gonna be okay.
Thank GOD for this NLC strike, it really helped hubby and me.....

Bad Health Scare Part II

2007-06-24T08:42:00.000+01:00

I don't know if I should share this, cos it's no business of mine.....I've really thought deep about sharing it and I hate being the bearer of bad news but peeps please don't use just any hospital in this Lagos!!!! Please, I beg you, there are killer doctors.........

We were waiting at the hospital's accounts department to pick or bill when four people rushed in to the reception area: a middle-aged woman carrying a baby(LCTB), wrapped in a beautiful pink shawl, a young woman(YW) and two men(M1 & M2).
I heard snatches of conversation.
The lady carrying the baby(LCTB) asked in a rushed voice for the medical director.
Receptionist: The MD has closed for the day but other doctors are on duty.

LCTB: I just called him, he said he's on his way.

Receptionist: Please sit down, I'll call him

A nurse walked into reception area and smiled as she saw LCTB: Ah you've brought us a baby. She went to check the baby and I saw an alarmed look on her face.
She said something I didn't hear, LCTB nodded, she was dancing from one foot to the other nervously.

Next thing, the nurse dashed upstairs, two doctors, dashed down with her and rushed past us with the four to the 'Emergency Area' just across us.
The lady at accounts asked to be excused as she went in there too, she dashed out soon after and ran to the reception area.
Accounts Lady to Receptionist: Have you spoken to the MD?

Receptionist: He's on his way

Hubby: I think they have an emergency. I hope that baby is alright.

Next thing, the MD ran past us into the emergency area.
By now, I knew the poor baby was in danger.
I was yet to break my fast and I started praying for this baby I didn't know, hoping GOD would hear my cry and save the poor child.
Shortly after, the young woman(YW), part of the four, came out with one of the men they arrived with(M1). The lady was holding her chin in her hand and shaking her head.

YW: Ha! If only you had taken the one-way, she was still breathing oooooooH. Ah! Who is going to call her mother now? Ah! Yeeee! Ah! Ah!

I wanted to ask if the baby was okay but I couldn't even bring myself to speak.
The two doctors on duty emerged from the emergency room trying hard to keep their faces expressionless

I heard the MD say: How can a surgeon perform a surgery without oxygen. He's a murderer. That doctor is a murderer. How can someone bear a baby to full term, nine whole months and then you let this happen! That man is worse than a killer. All this baby needed was oxygen! Just oxygen.....

He walked out, the LCTB and M2 followed, with the nurse, the baby was left on the hospital bed.
LCTB was led to a seat in the reception, nobody was crying but you could tell from their expression they were not happy

M2: Should I call the child's mum?

LCTB: To tell her what? Somebody that just gave birth. Do you want to kill her? Nobody should call her oh. Nobody should call her......Just leave her alone. (To M1) You are not without blame oh, because if you had taken that one-way we would have gotten here sooner......but you are very stubborn. See what you have caused....Which LASTMA monitors one-way at midnight?

MD reappeared and gives LCTB a card: Call this number to report. If you need any assistance let me know. I mean that doctor can't be left to continue doing this. This is the third time I am having this type of emergency!! Careless doctors performing surgery without backup oxygen. I mean no matter how good you are, things can go wrong and you need to be prepared.....I will never perform surgery without sufficient oxygen. It's murder!

The lady at accounts reappeared with a straight face.
Accounts lady: Sorry for keeping you waiting.

Hubby: Sure. Is the baby okay.

She made a slight movement with her head that didn't say yes or no.
Hubby didn't push because we know it's professionally wrong to discuss other patients.
I could see the a pink cap, covering the baby's hed and the pink shawl lay around the baby.
The baby was not crying and I didn't need anyone to tell me the poor child had passed away.
I wondered if the baby had been gasping when she was born and during the drive to the hospital.
We picked our bill and walked into the reception area.

I said to the YW, who was still standing: Sit down sister. It is well
Like a robot, she sat down and sighed.
As we walked out of the hospital, I understood really that there's only a thin line between life and death
Just one breath of oxygen! Just one breath, just one moment, and that baby would have had a naming ceremony next Wednesday!
As for that killer surgeon, I hope that family won't let him go just like that.
If hubby and I hadn't gone to the hospital to check his BP that Wednesday......GOD forbid!!!

Bad Health Scare

2007-06-21T21:56:00.001+01:00

I apologise for just replying/acknowledging your comments on my last post, please forgive me.
I reckon some Nigerians have been enjoying the imposed NLC strike.
Sadly, hubby and I have had a bad health scare!
So bad was the scare that hubby was placed on admission in our family hospital.
It all started on Tuesday when hubby returned from work.
He said he had to go to the clinic @ work because he had a pounding headache.
He was told his Blood Pressure was very high and he had to rest and take some medication.
He wasn't feeling any better on Wednesday so we drove to the clinic to check his BP, the nurse took her time checking and rechecking, then she went to get a colleague to recheck.
I was fasting, the last day of 3days fasting.
The nurses started whispering: 'What did you get?' 'No, tell me what you got first' 'What I got is very high'......
Hubby snapped: What did u get?
Nurse 1: 210/140
Nurse 2: That's what I got too and it's dangerously high sir. You'll have to see the doctor.

I dint understand what they were talking about, so I chatted with hubby as we waited for the doctor who called us in not long after.

Doctor: Good afternoon, Mr O and Mrs O? (Me: Yes). Please take a seat. I am going to have to check your BP again as what I have here is dangerously high. Infact, some people have stroke on 180/90 (Alarm Bells!!!!), if this BP is correct, then I am going to place you on admission immediately and monitor you till evening....Mmmmmh, indeed it's 210/140. Excuse me..(He made a call and gave orders for some intravenous injections to be prepared and taken to a ward for Mr O)Mr O, do you drink alcohol or smoke?

Hubby: I drink occassionally

Me: He used to drink and smoke heavily a few years ago

Doc: Are you urinating normally?

Hubby: (to me) I guess so? (I nodded)

Doc: Have u been under any stress/pressure from home? Work? Change of environment?.....

Hubby: No

Doc: Any medication?

Hubby: No, just occasional painkillers and i saw a doctor yesterday who prescribed Lexotan because my BP was high

Doc: You made a good decision by coming to check again. I am placing u on admission straightaway. There' no way you can leave the hospital in this condition...but there's no cause for alarm, high BP is a very manageable condition, there are drugs that can help you, okay?

We nodded

Doc: We are also going to do 3 tests: diabetes, cholesterol and electrolytes, Sodium precisely. In the mean time, you have to cut down on salt, fatty foods and exercise more

I tried hard not to panic as I thought: High Blood Pressure? Stroke? Where from?
Hubby was checked into a ward and the first intravenous injection was administered. His BP was checked after 10mins: 190/130 still high.
The second shot was administered. His BP after 10mins was: 186/120, still high
The third shot was administered. His BP after 10mins was 180/110
The fourth shot was administered. His BP after 10mins 176/100

The doctor said hubby could relax till evening.
He was going to be placed on medication.
He insisted hubby had to exercise more and cut down on fatty foods, salt, caffeine and alcohol and that I should help as much as I can.

We were discharged at 10:47pm, and while we were waiting to pay our bill, something terrible happened.
Hubby is okay, thank GOD but there's a thin line between life and death and u won't believe how careless some doctors are.
This month of June should just go away.......

Tearful Wedding: Jerry Springer Style

2007-06-19T00:30:00.001+01:00

Peeps, it was chAOS! CHAos!! AND ChaoS !!! at the wedding!
It all started after church.
We were gathered outside for photographs with the couple.
When it was the Bride's parents' turn, an elderly man dressed in white lace joined the couple.
Bestman called: Bride's mother!!! Bride's mother please!!!!
A lady appeared, the bride's mum.
She was with another man who wore the same lace with her.
I heard her say to the bestman in an unpleasant voice: Tell that man to leave.
The bestman looked confused as he spoke quietly with the old man, who stood adamantly beside the bride.

Next thing, the bride's mum marched aggressively towards the man in white lace, grabbed his agbada and started pushing him and yelling: What are you doing here? What are you looking for?
Man: What won't I be doing here? I am the bride's father? Leave me alone, jo.

Brides's Mum: (pushing the man) Which bride's father? Where have you been for the last twenty years? How much have you given her since you sent us parking in 1987? Do you know how she has been feeding? What she has been wearing or how she went to school? This is my day of glory and I would not share it with you!!! Oloshi! Oloriburuku (Ill fated person)! Were (Lunatic)! Ko ni daa fun eh (Curse for bad luck)! O ni kuuure (Curse for terrible death/calamity)

Bride's Dad: (Pushing back) Ashewo! Ashewo! (Prostitute!) Alainiteju! (Shameless person!) You are shouting now. Was it not because I caught you sleeping with that fool (points at the other man) that I sent you packing?
People physically and forcefully separated the warring parents but could not hush them.

Bride's Mum: Get out of here! Did you pay a kobo for this ceremony? Pauper! I will show you today.
Next thing, in super fast forward mode, she throws off her headgear and her wrapper and shoes followed amidst pleas from the guests.
Somehow, she wriggled thru the crowd and grabbed the bride's father.
They both landed on the wet floor, struggling, slapping, hitting, biting....just fighting, damn!.
The bride's mum ripped her struggling ex husband's agbada and soiled her heavy lace but she was beyond caring.

Her new husband tried to pull his wife off: Otito! Maa bo! (That's enough, come with me!) and before anyone could say Jack Robinson, the two hubby's were exchanging words and then blows.
I didn't see how that started because I was watching the bride.
She was crying and begging them to stop and I was crying with her cos I'm very emotional (thank u) & I thought noone deserves this.
The tears ran over her makeup and dotted her white dress with brown stains.
She threw off her veil and her bouquet and tried to grab her mum.

Bride: Mummy! Mummy! Today is my day of joy! Please stop it! It's just a picture, now! Mummy please!!!

The groom's family stood at a distance, looking disgusted/embarrassed???? at least that's what I saw.
I thought the groom should have been consoling his bride but I guess he was shocked like everybody.
The groom's mother also tried to separate the pair: 'Mama Iyawo, it's me now. Look at me. Please now. Please now' and when that didn't work she asked: 'She ka ma lo ni' meaning "Should we leave?"
Guests: "You people stop this at least for your child's sake!" "HAba respect yourselves now" "It's her day of joy why are you ruining it." "What kind of thing is this?" "Ahhhh, this is the devil oh." "It's the devil!!"
Eventually, they tore the three of them apart.

Bride's Mum: I came prepared for you, don't let me see you at the reception because this is only Part 1. *Curses* *Expletives*
Bride's Dad: *Curses* Expletives*

Of course by now, their heavy laces were soiled, the bride was inconsolable and the wedding mood had been ruined.
The crowd urged the bride's father to pray for his daughter and leave, so he won't be responsible for ruining this day.
He insisted he could not let that worthless man sit in his place as his daughter's father except he's dead.
He eventually agreed to pray for his daughter and leave but the bride didn't want to see anyone. The man prostrated on the floor in his white lace and begged his daughter for forgiveness.
She finally opened the car door and let him pray for her and then he left with slumped shoulders, in his now soiled and ragged lace.

And I pitied him and I cried for him too.
Hubby found me crying and said: I knew my wife would be crying, come with me...

The bride's mother reappeared with her husband in another lace attire, obviously she came prepared for battle as she was still cursing and threatening fire if her ex-hubby shows up @ reception and she did not look one bit remorseful....
Although the bride and groom took pictures, the mood had been ruined as the bride kept crying and the groom kept frowning...they just couldn't smile
As we left for reception, I couldn't help wondering what type of woman would ruin a day like this and not be sorry.
Most brides look forward to their weddings and it's supposedly a once in a lifetime affair and nobody has the right to ruin it, no matter what.
Or what do u reckon peeps?

Naija...so much drama.....

BTW, I'm thru with Dude, the ignoramus!

Me, A Masseuse

2007-06-16T13:35:00.001+01:00

I just got out of bed...it's 10:47am.
We slept without electricity cos our generator's not working but the night was cool so it wasn't too bad.
I tried to get outta bed at about 900am but hubby threw his arm over me and drew me back.
He was lying on his back so I decided to give him a thorough massage.
I straddled him and began giving him a gentle massage.
He sighed contentedly.....
I started with his neck, then his shoulders, his back & sides, his waist to his bum, his thighs and girly calves(lol) and I finished with his ankles.
He was fast asleep by the time I was through....and I also collapsed at his side and slept.
Never knew a massage could be so tasking.....

By the way, I've got 9 Missed calls on my mobile, 4 Private numbers & 5 from a number that looks like Dude's.
I've decided to tell hubby about Dude before I do anything.
Anyways, I'm going to shower now, it's hubby's friend's wedding. I think it's going to be grand.
It's holding at a posh venue in Ikoyi @ 11am
Got to rush!

Apology Accepted

2007-06-15T13:58:00.000+01:00

That's my cake (lol)
Poor hubby was even more embarrassed when he went to pick the cake.
The lady @ the counter asked loudly: Oga why did you serve alcohol, now?
And heads turned.
He’s threatened to have his pound of flesh.....I'm shaking.......!
Well I'm off to pick our generator technician.
Our generator's been giving us a lot of headache and he's advised us to buy a smaller one as standby.
He calls it: 'I Better Pass My Neighbour' and it's commonly used in small businesses.
Its fuel consumption is low and so is its output.
I guess it's not a bad suggestion, considering the NLC strike scheduled to start Monday.....
Nice Weekend everyone......

Hubby's Been Fined

2007-06-12T19:16:00.000+01:00

One of the rules we have in our home is: No serving of alcohol to guests.
Some of hubby’s friends dropped by today and hubby served Baileys.
I had gone to wash my hair at the hairdressers and I decided to blow-dry instead of sitting under the steaming drier so I was back home sooner than expected.
I caught them by surprise as I decided to use the kitchen entrance.
My displeasure was clearly registered on my face as I said: Hello!
Hubby got up with his glass and said: Babes, I told them it was against the house rules but they insisted on breaking the rule.
Me: (firmly) Peeps! I am sorry, we don't serve alcohol in this house.

Silence.

I took the bottle of Baileys and dropped it in the kitchen.
Our bestman, was one of the culprits and he had followed me to the kitchen.
Bestman: I apologise on behalf of everybody, please, we are sorry. Your husband offered us the drink as take-away but guys just wanted to be nutty. Please, I can see you are steaming but it's our fault.
Me: Thank you, please empty your glass into the sink.
I was surprised that he complied and told the others too to stop drinking.
I locked myself in the bedroom till they left quietly not long after.

Hubby washed the glasses and joined me in the room afterwards.
He said he had told them it was against the rules and they said what rules?
They teased him and said his wife was controlling him.
He offered them the drink as 'take-away' but they won't have it, they wanted to break the rule.
I wasn't at home so he agreed they could have a quick drink.

He’s been fined!
He’s to get a cake with : Honey, I’m sorry I broke the rules & served Alcohol.
He’s been begging me to consider some other punishment as it would be too embarrassing to order a cake with those words and even worse, he can’t send anyone cos it’ll make him a laughing stock.
But I’m not bending.
I hope the humiliation would serve as a deterrent against serving booze in our home in future.

Update:

Hubby’s been to the cake shop and he was told to reduce the words.
He said the shop assistants are having a laugh and thanked me for embarrassing him.
I told him to tell them to bake a cake that would accommodate the words, then I changed my mind and said: 'Honey, I'm Sorry I Served Booze' would be fine.
Do u reckon I should bake a reply-cake…..with words….Apology Accepted?!!
Nah, no reply cake, cos I'm gonna be eating the cake alone anyways.
I'll take a picture........maybe I'll post it so u'll see........

Bachelor's Party

2007-06-09T09:40:00.001+01:00

Yup! I won and we went together.
Hubby's warning: No alcohol! Be careful with the guys, you know how they can be at BEs. No dancing with anyone I don't know (laughs). And we leave when I am ready
Me: Okay
Hubby: I know u r up to some mischief
Me: I swear I'm not.

To be honest, I really didn't want to go but being scotophobic and autophobic, I hate the thought of being by myself especially @ night.
The dress code was 'a touch of white' but I decided to go all white in a white tiered skirt and a white sleeveless top from Littlewoods.
I had planned to wear it during our honeymoon but I never did.
I accessorised with a big, white studded belt and white diamante jewellery and ......one of my wedding shoes!!! (I bought 3pairs and wore two)
I had dressed up while hubby was having a shower and shave.

Hubby: Babes, you have to change. Please save this dress for another occasion.
Me: Awwww! I have been dying to wear it. I've had it since November!
Hubby: (Kiss) Please babes, maybe u can wear it on our wedding anniversary, so u'll look like a bride again.....
Me: Mmmh! Good idea!
So off went my attire and I began to search for something else to wear.
I sooooo hate having to cook up an outfit at the last minute!!!!
Typical of moi, after 3/4 changes, I finally decided on white, three-quarters linen bottom with a red and white cap-sleeved top.
I didn't like the look but hubby said I looked yummy!

Hubby wore brown cargo pants with a white and blue Tommy t-shirt, yummy!
My hubby's a bloke!
Well, the party was typical booze, drinks, semi-naked babes, loud music and noise.
To be honest, I was quite bored, I'm not the best of dancers, you see.
I stayed seated at the bar till some guy (I'll call him Dude) asked me to dance.
I danced stiffly and off-tune and he asked if I wanted to do something else.
We sat by the pool side and made conversation till way past 3am when hubby grabbed me from behind and kissed me on the lips in a way that could only mean: She's mine!

Dude said he's been really unlucky with gals and the girl he's dating now is 35, married at 18, has 4daughters, lives alone while her hubby and the kids live in the US. She's never been granted a visa.....peculiar.
Me: I'm sure her hubby's married to someone else in the US but you've got no business dating her.
He said he knows, but she's available and the affair's lasted over 4years and though he can't marry her, he hasn't found anyone yet.
I advised him to let her go before something drastic happens.
@ 0237am, Hubby sent me a text: Babes, I hope your guy knows you are married. I'm watching you oh!
I turned back and waved: That's my hubby!!! Dude waved too.

I felt really sleepy at about 0300am and Dude said I could sleep, he'll watch over me
Now, don't trust a guy like that cos back in Uni when I did, I woke up to feel the guy toying with my boobies and saying he was sorry it was the devil!
We exchanged numbers and agreed to keep in touch.

Hubby and I danced to Lagbaja and Beyonce and agreed to leave @ 4am.
As we were leaving, Dude walked up to me and said he was glad he met me, hubby looked jealous (lol)
He said something else but I didn’t quite hear him so he said he’ll text me.

I got this text Saturday morning: I am attracted 2 u & I think it’s mutual……cos we really connected....xxxx Dude.
What??? I didn’t reply and he texted me again Sunday: I can’t stop thinkin about u. I think I av fallen in luv wit u. Can I call u? xxxxx Dude
I deleted the message and his number and then regretted it.
What do u reckon peeps?
I’m not sure I wanna talk to this dude and I’m not too sure I should tell hubby…I’m just confused.
Dude appeared to be a normal, nice guy but it seems he gets his fun off dating married gals???
I reckon I shoulda stayed home with my phobias…..

My First Sweet Revenge

2007-06-07T02:07:00.000+01:00

It was my first year in senior class.
I was dressed in my brand new uniform and I had been chosen to welcome the new juniors to school.
I answered questions from concerned parents politely and showed the new students the way to the dormitories.
The day was drawing to an end when I felt someone staring at me.
I turned and lo and behold, it was the ugly face of Ms Ukoh, now older and looking wretched. She was wearing her trademark ugly smile, baring those hideous fangs and beckoning at me to come. I stared hard at her without moving.

Ms Ukoh: Pssssss! Pssssss! Come! You! You! Call that senior for me.
I stayed rooted to my appointment post thinking: What's wrong with saying, 'Excuse me!' to catch somebody's attention? Why hiss like a snake?
It wasn’t long before Ms Ukoh pushed me in the process of tapping me
Ms Ukoh: I have been calling you and you are not answering
Me: (boldly and loudly) What?!! What do you want from me?!!
Ms Ukoh: (grabs a little girl, a splitting image of her ugly self and she smiled): This is my daughter, she's a new student and I want you to take care of her like your sister, ehn. I want you to be her school mother.
Me: (First I hissed, then I laughed and slapped my hands together Naija style) Nonsense! In your dreams! Have you forgotten what you did to me in school? You might have forgotten oh but it is still fresh in my memory. You witch! You are still as ugly as ever. As for your daughter, come and force me to be her schoolmother. Schoolmother ko, schoolmother ni. *Hiss*
(I turned to the daughter who was smiling expectantly): You better scram from my front before I send you flying.

That said, I walked away from them, shoving her daughter outta my way.
Phew! And it felt so good, you see, in them days, it was an eye for an eye.
I walked over to some of my classmates and gave them the lowdown on the evil teacher.
They asked: Where is she?! Where is the daughter?
I pointed them out
Friends: We are going to deal with her.
And did they deal with her!
The stupid girl actually sought me out one Friday afternoon to report some seniors that were always punishing her to me.
I asked her if it was my business and she answered: My mummy said u should take care of me ooh, I will tell my mummy that u are not taking care of me.
Me: What you should tell your mummy is that she should stop being wicked to people. Kneel down there! Shirts anyone?
I got 18shirts for her to wash and return dried and ironed before the next day.
Everytime I saw her, she was always in trouble and even when I could plead on her behalf, I turned a blind eye.
My friends and I made sure she had the worst morning duties ever and nobody liked her, nobody even wanted her as a school-daughter.

Everytime I saw her, I made sure there was a reason to punish her or send her on a long errand, and I didn't have to look hard cos she was so dirty!
One visiting Sunday, Ms Ukoh was in the hostels to confront some seniors that were 'victimising' her daughter and did they give it to her! She left looking frustrated and talking to herself.
I was so excited as her sins were obviously being visited on her daughter.
I left the school at the end of the year and Ms Ukoh never had the gall to confront me, even though I showed her daughter hell!

Endnote: Life is not fair, vengeance is the Lord's.
I felt guilty reading through this post but I was young and like I said, it was the days of : An Eye For An Eye!!

Bachelor's Eve

2007-06-04T10:04:00.001+01:00

Now, hubby's childhood friend is getting hitched 16th June.
The groom-to-be has been living abroad for three years and just returned to Naija for his wedding.
You should hear him talk, you know what it's like when you try to force an accent?
He talks really funny but this post is not about him. (lol)
It's about my hubby, a ****married man**** who has been made one of the co-ordinators of the bachelor's eve.
Now, hubby being an event co-ordinator's not a problem at all, he likes partying.
The issue is, hubby's asked for permission to party away next Friday.
And my answer? - NO!!! We either go together or stay at home.
What's a married man even supposed to be doing @ a 'BACHELORS' party.
What do you reckon peeps?
Should married men attend bachelors' eve parties?
Hubby says, many of those that attended his own BE were married friends & that the purpose of the party is for married and unmarried friends to send off the groom-to-be.
I reckon there shouldn't be married men @ BEs because they have been sent off and have no business sending another bachelor off.
What do you reckon?

For The Love of Money

2007-06-03T08:04:00.000+01:00

Has anyone read about a 4year old Nigerian child that was beheaded for money-making by ritualists. Here's a link from Nigeria Politricks' blog : Nigeria Politricks

How callous!
These Nigerian Herbalists are so ignorant.
In my family, we reckon that the White Man's witchcraft produced world class technology: Cars, Phones, Aeroplanes, Computers, Televisions, Cameras, Refrigerators etc but in Africa or maybe in Nigeria, people would actually kill fellow human beings, children to get rich instead of learning about the power to create wealth.
This story touched me.
How can anybody decide to end a child's life based on the promise of a herbalist?
Who are these herbalists that even promise wealth?
I mean what do they have?
If you have the power to create wealth, won't you make yourself a millionaire first?
I hope these people rot in jail, a death sentence would be too lenient.
I hope they spend the rest of their lives in gross pain and torment and praying to die.
My heart goes out to the parents of this child.
One minute she's there and the next minute, she's gone, just like that!

Result of My Test

2007-06-02T08:06:00.000+01:00

Well, I was all smiles as I walked into the clinic.
The lady at reception welcomed me with a bright smile and said she had seen the result of my test.
She asked me to take a seat while she got my file out.
Well, she handed me the file and said: That's the result. Do you want to take it or should we keep it?
I stared at the sheet of paper angrily.
Yeah, Pregnancy Test = NEGATIVE.
I was sooo sure I was preggers and I wanted it to be a weekend treat for my hubby.
Without knowing it, I was crying.
The lady led me quietly into a ward and tried to pacify me but I was inconsolable as I wept my heart out because I am getting worried!!!!
She went to get the doctor who asked if I was under any pressure to get pregnant. I said No. Doctor: How long have you been married
Me: About 5months
Doctor: Are you anxious about anything?
Me: No
Doctor: You have to relax. Anxiety tends to cause infertility issues. Are you on any medication?
Me: Folic Acid
Doctor: Do you ovulate?
Me: I guess so cos I menstruate every frigging month

I cried till my eyes were red and sore but the doctor finally pacified me and asked if hubby and I wanted to book an appointment to get tested. I said I didn't know and I'll discuss it with my hubby first. I was in that ward for an hour or so before I got my calm and left.
I got into the car and the song playing on the radio was: Brandy's 'Have You Ever'.
I had to stop the car and park close to a curve where I wept again.
Sometimes you want something so bad & it hurts when it just doesn't happen pronto.
As you can imagine, I am very angry and disappointed and I am chilling some red wine right now cos I'm just gonna get drunk.

Feeling Pregnant

2007-06-01T08:49:00.000+01:00

My hubby returned from work quite early yesterday.
He had a fever and a nasty headache.
His colleagues said it was malaria AND prescribed Fansidar and Paracetamol.
I said it might just be fatigue but hubby took the medication anyway.
Talk about Nigerians, self medication and drug abuse.
I must confess I've been feeling pregnant this last few days so I secretly took a 'Pregnancy Test' at the clinic yesterday.
Might I mention I have a phobia for needles and I screamed the whole palce down before the needle even poked me.
My symptoms are:
Frequent Urination
Fatigue
Very Hard Tummy
Full & Heavy Boobs
Well, I've not missed my period yet and no morning sickness or puking either but I really feel pregnant.
You lot can laugh if you dare but I'm on my way out & I'll let you know.
I am keeping my fingers crossed, I wanna have me babies!!!!

Hubby still went off to work and only downed a cup of coffee, that guy works too hard.
The joys of working in the UK, all you had to do was call in sick.
*sigh*

Mr P Got Robbed

2007-05-30T20:17:00.001+01:00

A friend called last week to inform me of her upcoming wedding.
She wore my aso-ebi so automatically, I've got to wear hers.
Anyway, I've noticed that everytime I send Mr P out with my car, he comes back with an empty tank.
His Excuse? Traffic! Traffic!! Traffic!!!
So anytime I need him to run errands for me, I send him off with Public Transport.

As I was not going out yesterday, I gave him the aso-ebi money to take to my friend's place on the Mainland.
He didn't get there till late and my friend had gone to her fiance's so I instructed him to go to her office first thing this morning.

I got a call at about 4.00pm today
Caller: Please am I speaking to Mrs XYZ?
Me: Yes
Caller: I am Mr P's friend. Please have you seen Mr P today? He left home since morning and said he was coming to see you to inform you about an incident that occurred yesterday.
Me: I have not seen him
Caller: Actually, he was robbed at gunpoint yesterday on his way home from an errand you sent him. The robbers took the money he had with him including some money you gave to him. They took his phones and his bank cards too. He has been trying to borrow money so he can return your money.
Me: What is your name?
Caller: My name? My name is....Mr P.
Me: Who are you? And how did you get my number?
Caller: I'm Akin, Mr P's mother's brother and your number has been stored on my phone since Mr P started working with you.
Me: If you have my number and you can call me, how come you couldn't advise Mr P to call me? And if this incident happened yesterday, how come I am just hearing now?
Caller: I'm calling you now because we are now looking for Mr P. He's missing
Me: I've not seen him but if he comes here, I'll let you know

I called hubby immediately to let him know what happened and he told me to relax and not panic.
At about 7pm, my doorbell rang, it was Mr P.
I just absolutely lost it and told him off.
What was the point in him coming that late and wearing a pretentious face when all he had to do was call me to let me know what happened and at least let me know if he was alright.

His story was full of contradictions and I reckon there's something fishy.
He said the caller was actually his father's elder brother and his name was Mr Akin P.
His father had called Mr P this morning to ask him for a loan to pay back my stolen money.
So I called Mr Akin P back and put him on speaker phone.

I asked if he had seen Mr P yet.
He said no.
I asked if he was Mr P's friend or relative.
He said: Mr P's mummy na my mama's last born.
I: Please can you give me your sister's number
He: I don't know it
I: Her husband's number?
He: I don't know it
I thanked him and hung up.
Mr P was dumbfounded and at least he looked ashamed.

What do you reckon peeps?
I know there's something fishy going on.
I know people get robbed in Lagos all the time & I think there's a possibility he was robbed.
There's also a possibility he was not robbed because there were too many loopholes in the two stories.
Well, I am not bothered.
I wont be trusting him with my money anymore though.
Do u reckon that's judgemental?
My life is becoming one big drama....

Identity Swap......Please!

2007-05-30T10:38:00.000+01:00

I got a very upsetting call last night from a cousin in the UK.
Here goes:

Cousin: Hello. Long time. Congrats on your wedding oh & sorry we couldn’t make it.
Me: Oh thanks. How are you doing too.
Cousin: (sighs) Honestly, not too good oh.
Me: Awwwwww! Do you wanna talk about it?
Cousin: Well…….that’s why I am calling you. I have thought about it and I think you are my only hope.
Me: Okay?

Cousin: Things haven’t been going well and I am at that point where I am totally fed up. I have been renewing my student visa for the past four and a half years and using all of my savings to study. My application for a visa renewal has just been rejected and I have been given till July to leave the country.
Me: Don’t be discouraged, no knowledge gained is wasted (I know I heard that somewhere). I am sure you'll be a hot cake in Nigeria with all your qualifications.
Cousin: So they say, but you've been back home five months and you are not even working yet.
Me: I'm hoping to start work in August. Honestly, I only applied to two companies and I have attended several interviews with both.
Cousin: But you know Nigeria.

Me: Nigeria has changed a lot. I assure you, there's been a lot of changes.
Cousin: See, you had good jobs while you were here because you are a citizen but I've been working mainly in retail since I came here.
Silence
Me: So how can I help?

Cousin: Please, I am begging you. Please. I am desperate. If I leave this country now, I won't have anything to show when I get home.
Me: Okay, how can I help? (I'm thinking she most likely wants to borrow some money and hoping she won't ask for too much)
Cousin: Can you send me your Passport & NI. I'll just register with a few job agencies and send it back.......just for one year. I promise, just a year.

Silence
Wow! Wow! Wow! That was completely unexpected and I am dumbfounded.
Cousin: Hello? Hello?
Me: ...I....am ......here
Cousin: Copido please, I am begging you, please
Me: But that's...........fraudulent, you know what I mean?
Cousin: Please, the only alternative now is to go into an arranged marriage
Me: I don't think I can do it, honestly I can't. Anything can happen.
Cousin: I swear, nothing will happen. I can even be paying you part of my monthly salary.
Me: It's not about money. It's my identity, my life!
Cousin: Copido please now, please. People do it
Me: I am sorry, I can't do it.
Cousin: Copido Why? You don't need this thing, you don't need it.
Me: Are you saying I don't need my identity? If you are impersonating me and you get into police trouble, I am the one that would be implicated. With my passport, you can open a bank account, have access to a loan and other credit services and you can ruin my credit history or bankrupt me. I think you should come home. Nigeria needs......
Bang! She slammed the phone.
Her sister and her mum have since called me to 'beg me' to loan her my identity for just one year.
This silly gal, I told her to venture out of retail but all she ever did was work in clothes and cosmetics shops so she could get staff discounts.

I don't think she understands the implication of she's asking?
Or maybe she thinks I'm a dumbass and wants to do some identity fraud.
Peeps, what do you reckon?
I am not giving this any second thoughts.
And I don't care if they never talk to me again.
*Hiss*
End of!!!!

West African Idols Final - And Timi Won

2007-05-27T23:35:00.003+01:00

I am excited for Timi but I was really hoping Omawumi would win.
I believe she might have won if the decision was based on today's performance.
She woulda made a far better idol,
She speaks better, (Did you listen to the UNICEF/AIDS Awareness Ad)
She has stage presence,
She's a performer,
She doesn't have a diction problem,
She's a sexy gal
An overrall better package.
& A Kia Picanto would fit a lady better!!!
Omawumi should have won.
I'm crying over spilt milk.
They begged us all week to vote but I didn't bother.
Omawunmi, I cried for you oh.
U shoulda won!
Oh! Btw, Goodluck Timi, I guess the girls love you cos it's only girls that bother to vote anyway.
Oops, I reckon I'm sounding spiteful.
Forgive me.

My First Suspension

2007-05-27T23:23:00.000+01:00

Back in Primary School, I hated Needlework cos I just couldn't sew no matter how hard I tried.
Not surprisingly, my needlework teacher hated me sooo much.
She made snide remarks about my hair being too long/unkempt, my shoes being too fancy for school and my needlework fabric being over the top.
I always ended up kneeling down in a corner of the class for one reason or the other and she would beat my knuckles sore with a heavy wooden ruler after each class.
She was very ugly and wicked and her hatred for me was very mutual.
I hated her from the depth of my soul.
I feigned illness several times to avoid going to her class but that only worked once.
Another time, I actually hid in the toilet and as I returned to class afterwards, I met her waiting for me in front of my class.
There was nowhere to run as she grabbed me and pinched my nose and ears till they were scorching hot and then she made me crawl to her office.
When we got to her office, I knelt down in my 'corner' and endured her knuckle-hitting ruler yet again.
It was the last time I tried to avoid her class.
Her name was Ms Ukoh, a dark, short, Calabar woman with teeth too large for her mouth.
She had thick sagging lips and wore jerry-curls and she was truly very ugly.
Her very big tummy was the same size as her very big bum.

One wet Thursday afternoon, we were lined up in needlework class to show her our homework.
I was last on the queue and there was a girl (Hadiza) just before me.
Hadiza: She's going to beat me, I didn't do my cross-stitches
Me: I did mine but I'm sure she won't like it
Hadiza: Why is she always beating you?
Me: She hates me
Hadiza: I hate her too
Me: Me too, I really really hate her. I think she's very ugly.
Hadiza: Witch! She's the ugliest teacher in the school. I wonder who even gives her money to do her jerry-curls
Mrs Ukoh: The two of you at the back, come here. What did you just say?
Me: (Shocked and teeth chattering in fear) Nothing
Hadiza: Nothing, we didn't say anything
Mrs Ukoh: You will repeat what you said today or you are dead
Me & Hadiza: Mrs Ukoh, we didn't say anything
Mrs Ukoh: Nene, get me a cane from the garden. Everybody can sit down, you two kneel down

As we knelt down, I started thinking: I'm done for! How could she have heard us from that distance when we were barely whispering! She must really be a witch!
Hadiza & I started weeping as Mrs Ukoh stared at us with pure hatred.
The cane arrived.
It was very long and tough.
Mrs Ukoh swiped the cane in air and demanded: 'I said what did you say?'
Hadiza: She..she...she's the one. She's the one that said that she hates you and you are ugly and that who gives you money to do your jerry curls
Class: Haaaaaaaa!
Mrs Ukoh had never looked so furious..……...or ugly: ‘I will kill you today’
Me: Ah Hadiza! You’re lying. You are the one that said who gives her money for....
I never finished the sentence as the cane hit me just then.
I screamed and writhed on the floor as the cane hit me over and over and over again.
Hadiza was not spared either.
I pretended to swoon and faint but she just continued beating us.
We both screamed in sheer agony and I remember passing out a couple of times and waking up to the pain.
Mrs Ukoh: (panting) I'll teach you a lesson you will never forget today. Even if you die, I'll follow you to your grave and wake you up from the dead.
She beat us like we were thieves for the better part of her period.
When she was through, we were covered with bruises and barely able to cry, walk or talk.
Hadiza had passed out and she had to be carried out of Mrs Ukoh's class.
My class teacher, whose daughter was a witness to the beating, had a confrontation with Mrs Ukoh as beating had been banned in the school.
We were taken to the school doctor who was also disgusted that someone could beat children like animals.

We must have been sedated because, I slept off and woke up to the sound of angry voices: My Mum & Hadiza’s dad demanding to see the Mrs Ukoh, the proprietress or someone in authority.
The police were called and photographs taken,it was a serious matter.
Mrs Ukoh had somehow disappeared.
Hadiza’s father was a lawyer and he threatened to have Mrs Ukoh jailed.
My housewife mum also threatened to shut down the school and notify NTA (Nigerian Television station).
The school authority was very apologetic and an agreement was reached that a meeting would be held the following day to resolve the matter, they so begged my mum not to get the Press.

The next day, my mum asked me to take her straight to Mrs Ukoh’s class.
I would never forget, the monstrous woman was sewing an hideous, green fabric when my mum pounced on her.
Not one person could restrain my mum, my mum beat her oh, I won’t lie and I was very glad because I was somehow avenged.
During the meeting, Hadiza’s mother also slapped her and spat on her.
My dad was absent.

The school authority suspended Mrs Ukoh indefinitely, though she returned to work a month later after she wrote a letter of apology to both parents.
Hadiza and I also got suspended for a week for backbiting and for the misconduct of our mothers.
When we returned to school, we were the class heroines and there was no more needlework as no substitute teacher had been found.
I guess that’s why Mrs Ukoh got her job back.
Of course, it was no longer compulsory for girls to do needlework so Hadiza and I joined the boys in crafts class and moulded all sorts with plasticine.

But this world is indeed a small world because I met Mrs Ukoh again and I had my revenge.
Watch out for My First Sweet Revenge!

Not That Shirt!!

2007-05-25T18:33:00.000+01:00

Hubby chose to wear a grey and blue striped shirt this morning.
It was a nice, Hackett shirt I actually chose for him about two years ago.
As you can imagine, it's a couple of sizes smaller now and the sleeves rest clearly above his wrist.
Me: Babes, you cant wear that shirt
Hubby: What's wrong with it?
Me: It's not your size anymore
Hubby: Babes, it's Friday. I won't wear it after today
Me: No! No! No!
Hubby: Please help me clean my shoes.

I quietly took out hubby's spare key from the dressing table drawer and I took his regular key from the dining table.
I hid them in my freezer.
I made him coffee and toast and cleaned his shoes.
And then I made myself a cup of ginger tea and sat down to catch-up with yesterday's American Idol.
Hubby ate, took his coffee and was ready to leave after a short prayer.

Hubby: Babes, my car keys?
Me: I've got them
Hubby: (laughs) I guess I'll only get my key if I change this shirt, abi?
Me: Yupp
Hubby: I don't have a choice, right? It doesn't matter if I really want to wear this shirt.
Me: Babes,you were a size 16 when you bought it. You are now a size 17
Hubby: I don't mind
Me: I do
Hubby: Okay, please choose another shirt for me. Mmmmh, my wife is already bossing me around......

So I chose a very similar-looking shirt with a matching tie and hubby changed.
I locked the wardrobe and got his car keys from the freezer
Hubby: I married a crazy woman
Me: Whatever!
He has since called me four times to let me know people keep saying the shirt is nice.
He wanted to know if we just bought it.
I reminded him we bought it in a small Italian shop in 2005.
I guess I'll be doing some wardrobe clearing this weekend.
We are also drawing up a household budget this weekend.
It seems all we've been doing since January is spend, spend, spend and we need to save before the kids start coming.
Signing off!

Mad @ Hubby (Be Warned: Very Long!)

2007-05-23T08:09:00.000+01:00

Peeps, noone actually noticed there's been no 'glowing' comments on my 'lovey-dovey' hubby.
Well, I've been really mad at him and sulking like a baby.
We got an invitation for a Couples Dinner @ Sheraton last Saturday.
Anyways, hubby had to do some important things that afternoon and I said no worries as I wanted to rest too.
When I woke up at 615pm, hubby was nowhere in sight and our dinner was starting @ 7pm.
As you can imagine....I was fuming but I sent him an SMS saying: Babes, I'm not missing this dinner. If u r not home in an hour's time, I'll be leaving without u.....but I'll keep a seat for you.
While I was having a shower (actually washing my face) in the guest bathroom NEPA struck and the bathroom door suddenly opened shortly after.
I screamed and inhaled soapy water and of course, my eyes stung all through the night bcos some soap got in there too.
It was hubby anyways, I cant imagine what would have happened if it was anyone else, as noone even bothered to check if I was okay.
Or maybe I make too much noise? Wolf! Wolf!

Anyways, we were about 25minutes late for the dinner.
I wore a grey and blue satin and chiffon dress I bought in Wallis last summer/spring and hubby wore a navy-blue suit with a powder-blue shirt and a grey and blue tie, to match my dress.
The dinner went well, there was a stand-up comedian, some inspirational speeches on Marriages and Relationships, a Question and Answer session, Awards to the Youngest and Oldest Couples and finally (sigh), dinner @ 1036pm?
I know I shouldn't be eating after 7pm, but this is Nigeria oh!!!
Three-course meal, buffet style, cultured people, abundant food.
I must confess I'm not really a food person but I AM A SWEET ADDICT!!!!.
What I eat is what I should not be eating: sweets, pastries, ice-cream, cookies, chocolat, cakes, caramel etc
I picked a mixed fruit and vegetarian salad as my first course
I skipped main course
For desert, I picked a slice of every cake I found on display.
You lot shoulda seen my plate, it was unashamedly heaped!!!
Shamefully though, I wasn't able to devour everything.
I ate 2 caramel covered croissants, a yummy chocolate cake, a multi-colored cream cake, a soft bread-like thing that seemed to have been dipped in something really sweet and a not-too-sweet caramel cake.
Hubby shook his head at me and whispered: 'Glutton' when I burped.
There was no ice-cream so I had something that tasted like lemon juice???

Anyways, I had to pay a short homage to the loo before we left.
When I tried getting up, I found out that my toes were sore.
They had been cramped in my pointy-toes, silver and black shoes from Faith for too long.
I walked painfully and slowly to the ladies and back.
On returning, I told hubby my toes were sore and I removed my shoes.
But the dinner had ended and someone was already doing a closing prayer.
Hubby said to manage it to the car or hold the shoes in my hand.
I said I could walk to the lobby while he got the car and picked me up from there.
Hubby: You think you are talking to Mr P. Look, we're the only ones still seated. Lets go.
I got back into the hot shoes and slowly stood up.
I limped slowly and painstakingly from one foot to the other.
Yes, we were the last to get out of the banquet hall and I had to remind hubby several times to walk slowly to match my pace.
When we got to the hotel lobby, hubby's like: 'Babes, you have to decide now if you are going to walk with these shoes or take them off and walk bare-footed'
Me: Sweetie I cant walk barefoot
Hubby: Then walk and stop making it obvious your shoes are tight
Me: I can't help it.
Hubby:Look, I've had a long day and I just want to go to bed. We're still driving all the way to Lekki so we better hurry.
Me: Why are you making it sound like I am not making an effort?
Hubby: Cos that's what it looks like to me.
I continued walking slowly and hubby tried marching past me so I grabbed his arm and he just kept walking fast and pulling me along till I let go.
I found somewhere to perch, hoping he would come and get me.
Alas! I watched hubby walk away, get into the car and remain seated for like 5minutes, then my phone rang.

Hubby:(sounding irritated) Hello. I'm waiting for you.
Me: Please, my toes really hurt
Hubby: Babes, your toes did not hurt when you went to pile your plate with cakes. They didn't hurt all through the dinner. Please, I'm begging you, remove your shoes and come into the car.
Me: Thanks. I walked in wearing these shoes and I'm leaving in these shoes!
Hubby: You are just being stubborn and insensitive, you know I have had a long day.
Me: Whatever babes, whatever. Just go home, I'll take a cab
Hubby: Why don't you lodge in Sheraton instead? Abeg hurry up
Me: Thanks a lot for ruining a wonderful evening
Hubby: Same to you. I am waiting
Hubby cut the phone on me, first time ever.
I felt like a wounded prey.
By now, I was crying my trademark tears.
I rang him back.
Me:(sobbing) Do you remember, that on the 27th January this year, you promised you will be there for me in weakness and in strength. Tonight, I'm weak and I need you to be there for me...
Hubby: Babes, don't try to blackmail me.
Me:(still sobbing) Do you remember?
A middle-aged couple walked past and tried not to stare.
Hubby: babes, people are looking at you. Why do you enjoy making a scene
Me: I don't care about people, just answer me!!!
Hubby: I remember
Me: Thank you, because today, you have shown me that you lied at the altar. You did not mean a word you said that day. Thank you so much!!!!!
I got up and painstakingly made my way to the car and hubby.

As I buckled my seat belt Hubby: Boooo-booo-boo.(mimicking someone crying) I won!!!!!
I cried silently all the way home as I remembered how hubby was always the perfect gentleman throughout our years of dating.
I remembered how he would pay huge car-rentals, parking and congestion charges in London just to take me out.
I remembered how he had carried me to the car and our front door once because the heel of my shoe broke!
And I was very, very cross with him!!
By the time we got home, I had a terrible headache so I took Anadin extra, took off my shoes and I slept in my dinner dress and make-up.
On our wedding night, hubby and I promised each other we would never sleep on a fight.
That night, we slept without praying and talking.
Sunday morning, we both got up without a word to each other, got ready for church and left the house, in separate cars.
By the way, I wore the same shoes.

The Title of the Sermon was: The Foundations of Marriage
I cried all through the sermon, praise and worship, offering and closing prayer as the Pastor was actually somehow speaking directly to me, and hubby.
After service, a man held me on the shoulder and asked if I was okay.
A voice(hubby's) answered: Don't worry. She's okay
I heard the man tell him I had cried all through the service and I cried more bcos I felt so bad and because I was drowning myself in self-pity and realising marriage 'ain't all rosy'
Hubby took a seat beside me and hugged me.
His eyes were red too and he said: I am sorry
Me:(still sobbing) Why? Why did you do that to me? I really needed you. I really did
Hubby: Babes, I am so sorry. I guess I was tired and cranky
Me: Booooooooooo
Hubby passed me a hanky
Me: Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
Voices: 'Is she okay?' 'Is anything the matter??' 'What's wrong with her?' 'Should I get the Pastor?'
Me: Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu. Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
Hubby: (low voice) Babes, you are actually embarrassing me. People are looking
Me: I don't care! Let them look!!
Hubby: (uneasily) They'll be thinking I have been beating you
Me: (I looked into hubby's face and I could see he was sincerely sorry and he looked quite embarrassed and I spoke in a breaking voice) Sometimes, some words and actions can hurt more than physical violence

I got up and walked outta church with my head bent. I was having another nasty headache.
Hubby walked slowly beside me.
I couldn't help saying: 'For your information, I am wearing the same shoes, you better not wait for me'
Hubby laughed.
And although hubby had apologised, I didn't want to be in the same house with him yet.
I just wanted to run away, no destination, just away
But hubby got into my car with me and we talked and talked and talked and he made me promise I would come home now.
I said I just wanted to drive around but I later agreed to go home.
On getting home, we both went to sleep.
We've both been acting like semi-robots since.
However, I woke him up this morning, 0328am and said: Babes, I am sorry
Hubby: Does that mean I am completely forgiven?
Me: I guess so!
And it feels so good!
Well, I reckon, I was a tad inconsiderate and stubborn and there wasn't anything wrong with walking barefooted.
Silence really hurts and I've been so lonely in my marriage this past three days.
I won't be doing it again.
What do ye reckon peeps, should I throw the shoes away or hide them where I'll never find them again??

Snakes in The House

2007-05-22T09:18:00.000+01:00

My cousin called yesterday to warn us to keep our doors and windows shut.
She said two people in her church found snakes in their houses.
One family found a big, long snake in their kitchen.
The second family found a snake crawling under their bed when they wanted to retire to bed at night.
***Shriek!!!!! Goosebumps!!!!! Shriek!!!!!****
I can't stand snakes!
I hate anything that creeps or crawls.
Since I heard this yesterday, I have been jumping at every unexpected sound.
My estate is fully developed but there are some undeveloped lands every here and there in surrounding areas.

I remember back in them days, when I was in boarding school.
One day, I was told to push a dustbin and as I pushed, a large, empty tin of Milo (A Nigerian beverage) rolled out.
I tried to use a stick to maneuver the tin but it was really heavy so I kicked it!
I saw some water spilling out of the tin and something brown.
In my head, I thought: Disgusting, someone excreted in an empty thing! Yuck!
Well, the so-called brown stuff, turned out to be a long brown snake.
It came out of the tin slowly and formed a big coil before my unbelieving eyes.
I stayed rooted to the spot in shock; shaking and afraid to run because I could not bring myself to turn my back on it.
What if it attacked me from the back?
I somehow summoned up enough courage to scream/shriek: 'He-eeeee-lll-ppppppp! Ssssss-nnnnn-aaaaaaaaaaa-kkkkkkkkkk-eee!'
It was an unholy cry!
My eyes were practically popping out of their sockets but I was frozen at the same spot.
People appeared from nowhere and started throwing sticks and stones.
Next thing I saw, the snake was in the air flying!!!!
People started running and screaming!!!!
Peeps, noone had ever told me snakes could fly.
That was the last thing I saw, because.........can you guess?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
The snake did not bite me!!
I fainted!!!
I woke up in the school ambulance much later.
My body was wet, I was told people had poured water on my face to revive me but I was far gone.
So they had concluded I had been bitten by the snake and the ambulance was rushing me to the general hospital.
I was wheeled into the emergency room with the dead snake in a nylon bag(creeps)
By then, I was able to confirm that up till the time the snake flew, it hadn't bitten me.
Well, I got to have a ride out of school in the ambulance, with the siren blaring.
My parents were contacted and they met us at the hospital.
Of course, I was discharged that day but my parents insisted on taking me to the family doctor.
I was dressed in my torn and soiled nightie but I was sooooo happy to escape the confines of boarding school for a few days.
By the time I returned to school, rumours had gone round the school that I had died.
Well, as a result of this, my morning duty for the remainder of junior school was window-cleaning.

Back to the present, our guest-bathroom has a drain-pipe that opens into a small gutter that runs inside the compound and flows into a bigger gutter outside the compound.
I am sure this pipe will be very attractive to any $nake looking for shelter.
Hubby has agreed to call a plumber to cover the hole with a strainer? before I completely lose it.
I reckon I'll totally freak out if I found a snake lurking anywhere in my house.
Of course I had a bad dream about snakes when I slept.
I just remember it was a scary dream and the snakes didn't hurt me but I was terrified.
I woke up in cold sweat and hubby hugged me reassuringly.
He was too sleepy to hear the details of my dream so I slept back anyway, with the lights on.
A snake in the bedroom???? Uuuuuuggggghhhhh!!

What An Interview!!

2007-05-19T21:54:00.000+01:00

My driver arrived 20minutes later than arranged.
I had waited an extra ten minutes for him before setting out.
As I drove out of the estate to link the express road, I heard his annoying voice
'Mummy wait!!!! Wait!!!!!
I thought: 'Grrrrh!! How many times must I tell this irritant to call me Mrs O. He's at least 10years older than me, if not more.
He got off the okada and spent time haggling over his fare before joining me in the car.
Driver: Mummy, na N1000 I pay LASTMA for junction now because I dey rush come house
Me: Mr P, when next you are late, I expect you to apologise first for your lateness before cooking up stories.
Driver: Mummy, sorry but I swear....
Me: Please keep quiet. I need to concentrate
Driver: (laughs) Daddy say them jam you again......abi na you jam dem, I no remember.
Grrrhhh!!!
Anyways, we were stuck in traffic for longer than I dare to remember.
Fifteen minutes to my interview, I was stuck on Ajose Adeogun and the Company's contact number was just unavailable so I couldn't call to say I was running late.
Of course I had to blame someone, Mr P.
Me: 'Mr P, can you see what you have caused, can you? See what you have caused' You cannot keep to time and I will have to tell my husband.
Driver: 'Ehhhh, mummuy sorry. Sorry ma. Maybe you can take okada.
I thought: This guy is insane! Okada!!? Do I really need this job? Should I just bust it and head back home? Okada?
Me: 'Mr P, get me an okada'......Phew! Yes, I actually said it. I'm bored stiff of staying at home and this was most likely my final interview with this company.
Driver: 'Mummy, one dey for our back. Okadaaa!!! Okadaaa!!!'
I got out of my car and jumped on the 'okada'
The bike turned and twisted through traffic and I got to my destination just two minutes before the hour.
I must have held my breath for the duration of the ride but I gave the guy N500 and ran off.

I sat down at reception with about 6 others and I was trying to catch my breath and wipe the sweat off my face without cleaning off my make-up.
Five hours later, my bum was steaming AND still glued to the same seat.
No refreshments.
No apologies.
These people have no respect whatsoever!!!! ***Hiss!!! Hiss!!! Frigging Hiss!!!***
I was furious!
Why did I even bother with the okada *Hiss*
At about 6:15pm, I was called in to see the boss.

Boss: Hello, I am ABC, Assistant General Manager, Banking & Operations. I have been told you are motivated by money
Me: (stiff smile and handshake) Good-evening, Nice to meet you sir. I am Mrs O and Yes, I am motivated by money amongst other things.
Boss: So the reason I am meeting you today is to strike a balance, among other things. This is your last interview with us so I will advise you to give your answers some consideration because my decision will be based on the outcome of this interview. Is that fair enough for you?
Me: I believe so.
Boss: Good. Can you quickly run thru your work history.
I had done this at every interview they invited me for!! These people don't even bother to read your CV.
I started with my most recent employment and I gave a short summary of my duties and reasons for living.
Boss: I have never heard of these companies before. What's the staff strength of the last company you worked for and was it a one man company or did it have a board of directors?
Me: It has a board of Directors and a staff strength of tens of thousands. It also has international offices in......
Boss: Mmmmh? All those one room offices (laughs, I kept a straight-face. I didnt think that was funny) Any director whose name might ring a bell?
Me: I don't know, the directors are mainly Israeli and I worked in their UK office.
Boss: Ohhhh, you are the one that used to work in London!!!! I hate that London, I have only been there once. All their houses are the same and their rooms are like matchboxes? (laughs, hehehehehehe. I'm so furious!!!!!) Where is that your CV sef????
He locates my CV and says: Mrs O............., Mmmmmmh. When did you get married.
Me: (What the heck??!!!) I got married in January
Boss: Where does your husband work?
Me: (What the frigging heck???!!)
Boss: Ahhhhhh, so are you married to blablabla ( Hubby's full name, including middle name)
Me: Yes
Boss: Your husband is in trouble. I know your husband very well. We used to hang out together @......You mean he got married without telling me....Ahhhhh, he's in trouble.
I am obviously confused and thinking, I hope hubby had a good relationship with this monstrous man. He started asking me when we got married, where we live, honeymoon etc.
Finally, he picked his phone and put it on speaker. Hubby's number is even stored on his phone: Boss: I am calling your husband now. He's in big trouble oh
Me: I am sorry to hear that. I...
Boss: Ssshhhhhh. (Hubby's phone is ringing and hubby picks)
Hubby: Hello
Boss: Hello. This is ABC. How are you doing? Long time no see.
Silence
Boss: Oh, have you forgotten me already? Remember, we used to hang out together at blabla but I don't see you there anymore. Hello?
Silence.
By now, I'm peeing in my pants (well, almost) and thinking: What the f***!!!! (Spare my bad language)
Boss: Oh, the line has disconnected. I'm going to call him back.
Ring, ring (X10)
Finally, hubby picked: Hello
Boss: Hello, this is ABC
Hubby: I know. Good afternoon and long time sir.
Boss: Long time indeed. How are you doing?
Hubby? Great!!! And you??
Boss: Good, good! I have a problem though. I just found out that you got married and I didn't get an invitation. You also moved to Lekki, without telling me. And your wifey needed a job but it was too much to call me. My friend you are in big trouble because your wife is sitting before me now and I am going to do as I please since we are no longer friends.
Hubby: (laughing so loudly) Ahhh, please don't do that. Please don't take it out on my wife. I am really sorry.
Boss: But why have you behaved like this, ehn?
By now, I am smiling like an idiot . I relaxed and sat back as he gisted with hubby for like four minutes, catching up.
Eventually, he hung up.
Boss: The interview is over. Tell your hubby to keep in touch
Me: (Nodding like an agama lizard)
Boss: Are you happy?
Me: I am actually speechless
Boss: Ok, let me give you time to recover. Your hubby's a very nice man. He's younger but he's a remarkable chap!! How much was your last salary in the UK?
Me: Actually, I am not asking or as much because, I have considered the econom.....
Boss: No, don't worry, how much
Me: .......... ( u nosy peeps....lol)
Boss: how much in Naira
Me: I have never converted it
Boss: That's about .......million. How much are you asking for?
Me: ......
Boss: That's several millions less. I think u should add a N1.5million to that. When will you be available to start?
Me: Immediately
Boss: I think the earliest start date is August but i'll see what I can do. Are you mobile?
Me: Geographically?
Boss: Oyinbo pooo (Too much English)
Me: Sorry....
Boss: Feel free with me. I LOVE your husband, he's a great guy. Just be free with me. Be yourself!!!
Me: Okay!
Boss: When I said are you mobile, I meant do you have a car?
Me: oh yes, I drive a Nissan Altima
Boss: Mmmmh? What model?
Me: I think it's the one before the latest. Big bum one
Boss: So why didn't your husband relocate, why you?
Me: He prefers it here, or so he says
Boss: Me too. There's money in this country and we don't get slammed with tax...
Me: But there's also a lot of lawlessness
Boss: But you live in an elite area. My wife and I have not been to Lagos Mainland in two years. We do all of our business on the Island
Me: I reckon it's not too bad on the Island, it's more elitist.
Boss: Exactly! U must take care of your husband oh. He's a really good person.
Me: (smile) I know
Silence
Boss: Have u caught your breath?
Me: Sure....
Boss: Don't tell ANYBODY anything, alright?
Me: Yessir! What of my hubby??!
Boss: He knows.
Me: Thank you soooooo much sir
Boss: Take care and congrats
Me: Thank u sooooo much

I was all smiles as I left his office and I was putting on my phone to call hubby.
Someone ran after me, he was one of the guys waiting to be interviewed.
Him: Excuse me. So what did he ask you?
Me: (Gobsmacked) Dunno? It was a .......casual...sort of interview......
I ran off before he could ask me anything else.

I rang hubby as soon as I got out of the building.
Me: You!!!!
Hubby: HAHHAHAHHAH (Laughing)
Me: Why did I even bother with all those interviews?
Hubby: Babes, I'm proud of you. You earned this job yourself! You should be proud of yourself.
Me: How?
Hubby: U went through the normal interview process, no favours. i am extremely proud of you.
Me: Awwwww! But did you know I was going to meet him?
Hubby: I swear I didnt even remember he was there but even if I had known, I would have preferred you to go thru the same way. We're gonna celebrate tonight
Me: Yeahman!! I am sooo happy. Farewell to days of being a house-wife
Hubby: Oh shut up!!!

Now, don't say I told u anything!!

Touring Blogville

2007-05-18T09:34:00.000+01:00

Yeah, that's what I have been doing all morning.
I had a good laugh on
Calabargal's Perambulating
Lovely pics: BellaNaija
I so identified with Mandy's: Part 4 The Journey In
No updates on Pseudo-Independent
And Princess's: Wrong People was hilarious

These blogs have inspired me to start 'The First Time' series.
My First Sweet Revenge
My First UK Shopping Experience
My First Kiss
My First Flight Experience
My First Physical Fight
My First Time
My First Crush
My First Real Crush!!!
My First Job Interview
My First Love
My First Porn Movie(Yuck!!!)
My First Time In School Without Panties
The First Time I Cheated
The First Time I Was Accused Wrongly.
The First Time I Was Bullied etc

I am so excited about this series and I owe the inspriration to my blog tour. Some of them would be so gross and some hilarious. I hope to keep them as short as possible.....if I don't get too carried away.
I am off for my fourth job interview with a 'certain financial institution'
Ciao

I am Soooo Freaking Out!!!!

2007-05-17T17:20:00.000+01:00

I am freaking out!!!!!
I am really and trulyfreaking out!!!!!
Who's gonna help me??!!
I narrowly escaped a near-collision with an 'okada' today.
Okadas are motorcycles used for public transport in Lagos, Nigeria.
They can squeeze into the narrowest space between cars and they don't obey any traffic laws.
Some of them are fitted with the loudest music systems and loud-blaring horns from trucks/lorries.
They are a great nuisance to many drivers on Lagos streets but we are very mindful of them.
If you dare run into an okada, be sure you'll get lynched and mobbed and you would be lucky if you escape alive and in possession of your car.

While driving on CMD road today, an okada zoomed right into the front of my car.
I was driving at 60kph and I had to swerve into the other lane to avoid knocking him off.
People were screaming as I braked suddenly and my tires screeched loudly.
He tried to grab my bonnet but I had swerved clear of him so he went zig-zag till he caught hold of a parked car.
I was petrified but ever so thankful to GOD.
The okada-driver was very apologetic: 'Madam sorry, I no look back'
Other voices chorused: 'Na small it remain, you for die today.' 'Madam no mind am, na so dem dey do' etc
What's happening?
I am so scared!
I am totally freaking out.
Hubby and I had a row last night cos he said he was going to ask the driver to resume today.
He said driving in London and Nigeria is very different and I totally agree but I have a valid UK driver's license and u don't just get that like u get driver's licences in Naija.
I left home this morning in rebellion for an unplanned visit to my dad & see where it almost landed me.
Hubby woulda been so crossed if something had happened!
I reckon it's best for this driver to resume work before I totally freak out.
Hubby's won, hands down.
Naijas have no respect for road/traffic laws, okadas are lawless and I can't allow anybody to mob/lynch me.
Phew!!!!

One Good Turn Really Deserves Another

2007-05-17T03:13:00.000+01:00

Hubby got my car fixed before I returned from the UK.
The insurance story would be one for another day.
Anyways, while driving on Ozumba Mbadiwe today, a white Toyota Hilux Pick-up ran into the side of my car.
In my head, I thought not again??!!!!
I drove abroad for at least 6years and I was only involved in an accident once (My car was hit from behind by a TfL bus)
I felt totally fed up as I pulled over.
The driver quickly jumped out in an attacking mood
Driver: Madam didn't you see the police car speeding in front of me?
I jumped out of the car in annoyance and the pot-bellied driver took a few steps back.
Me: Don't feed me that crap! You have scratched my car and you will pay for it!!!
To my utmost surprise, the man went on his knees immediately and started begging me.
Driver: Madam please, I take GOD beg you. Please, I beg you. You no go see this kind thing again. Madam please. Madam please. Madam please......(x20)
I was short of words and people were shooting me daggers as the man was obviously old enough to be my dad and he was begging me unashamedly.
I sighed and told him to go, I felt so drained.

Hubby has been mounting pressure on me to let my driver resume.
A driver I was happy to get rid of because he was suffocating me!!
He would walk with me into every shop I went even if I begged him not to worry.
When I was buying my hubby's gifts and cards, his presence at my back was stifling.
I told him severally that I needed space but the moron stuck close enough to see the cards I picked and even had the gall to pick the same card off the shelves and say: Daddy will like this one(laughs).
Ouch, I hate digressing!!!

As I got back into my car, a lady rapped on my window, so I let the glass down a bit.
Lady: Aunty, you shouldn't have allowed him to go. His oga(boss) was hiding at the back of the car. They were both laughing when they drove off. Just chase them and tell them to fix your car.
I thanked her but I couldn't be bothered to start a goose-chase.
Well, I visited a friend in Festac and it took me no less than 4hours to get back home to Lekki.
The roads were bad, drivers lawless and the usual Lagos chaos abound in plenty.
I maintained my lane and drove at snail pace slowly behind the car in front of me.
I was stuck in the express road traffic, the only route I knew, hence no escape.
My radio was tuned to Cool FM, my doors were centrally locked and my AC was on full-blast.
There were suspicious looking men walking past my car every now and then and I just tried to be calm and prepared for the worst.
Well, you won' believe what happened: Nobody attacked me, thank GOD.
I actually slept off at the wheel.
The driver beside me horned loudly as my car got close to the one before me.
I was exhausted and even though I heard the horn, I was far gone and I had released my grip on the brake.
I was awakened by a loud bang!
I thought: No!!!! I didn't just sleep off did I?
I quickly got out of my car without any shoes and as I approached the car(Brand New Honda Ivtec) I had run into, the window at the back went down.
The owner, a middle-aged gentleman was seated in 'the owner's corner'
Before I could say anything, he said: Madam, this place is very dangerous, please return to your car and don't bother yourself. I will fix my car if it's spoilt. Just get back into your car
I said: Bless you, sir. Bless you!!
I climbed back into my car and slowly removed my wedding and engagement rings and my Raymond Weil wrist-watch.
Did he say, dangerous area??? mmmh!

Is She Your Wife???!!!!

2007-05-16T08:00:00.000+01:00

I met hubby for lunch last Thursday/Friday.
I wore a black and white top with a big white, stud belt and straight black pants.
While hubby was walking me to my car on Sanusi Fafunwa, a small, dark blue, air-conditioned First Inland Bank car drove past on the right lane.
There were two ladies in front.
The lady driving made eye contact with my hubby and yelled: 'Is she your wife???!!!!! Is she your wife??!!!'
Hubby and I were holding hands and I was slightly leaning on him.
Well babes, I am his wife and I have a laminated copy of my marriage certificate if you need proof.
Although you embarrassed my hubby(sort of), I applaud your courage.
Hubby said: 'Babes, if I was holding hands with someone else, I would have been consumed by guilt and I would have believed that girl was your friend and she caught me in the act. I am telling you, if that was the case, you would have heard my confession by night. Babes, I swear I love you with all my heart. I waited all these years to marry you because I knew, right from the day I met you that you are the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. My parents had a good marriage and I promise you, I'll do all in my strength to be the best husband I can be.'
I pinched hubby's bum and smiled: 'Same here, babes'
And I spoke just those three words but I meant too much more.

Don't you reckon that if we had babes, yelling at 'suspicious men/women' all the time, maybe it would help curb promiscuity to an extent........
I am aware some people have dangerously thick skins and it wouldn't matter if they were caught in the act.
I personally, don't see myself yelling at people in the street but I could yell if I found my friends, family and/or their spouses canoodling with someone else.
Well babes, kudos to you, whoever you are.

Nosey Sister-In-Law

2007-05-15T00:37:00.000+01:00

We did some family visits yesterday, actually we paid surprise visits on two of my hubby's siblings.
We caught one family completely unawares.
My sister-in-law had allegedly told another family member that she would not step into our home because I did not come and say thank you for all she did re: our wedding.
Well, in my defense, I actually sent text messages to everybody during our precious honeymoon and I called close friends and family after our honeymoon.
We also placed cute thank-you cards on each table at the reception.
Must I also visit everyone of the three thousand guests at our wedding??
Why are people so petty, old-fashioned and unnecessarily bitter??
I am from the South-Western part of Nigeria and in my tribe, the woman's family is responsible for hosting the wedding and engagement party.
I can proudly say that my family only accepted a cow/bull from the groom's family as support and we bought 3 other cows/bulls and paid for every other thing: 2 event venues, entertainment, event coordinators, protocol and security officers, catering and drinks, decorations, photography, videography, transport, and you name it.......I even bought my wedding dress and my hubby's and best-man's shirts with my own money and I have never asked anyone to give me the credits.
What the heck is she going on about?

Anyways, so as to forestall 'in-law enmity/rivalry', I literarily dragged hubby to visit them yesterday.
We arrived unannounced and what can I say?
Pure filth!!!
Everywhere was filthy and littered
We had to shift clothes to be able to sit in the living area.
I could tell she was sorely embarrassed as she kept blaming it on her children and of course she kept picking one piece of clothing after another.
I thought the children also looked unkempt and I am not trying to look down on anyone.
She said there was no food at home and offered to buy us some snacks which we kindly declined.
We didn't stay long and we ended up in traffic so hubby suggested we paid a visit to another sibling.

This time around, we announced we were on our way so as not to embarrass anyone.
Anyways, we met them at home and stayed till late
I thought I had a fun time as we basically talked about everything and anything.
Anyways, as we were leaving, my sister-in-law(S-I-L) dragged me aside.

S-I-L: So are you pregnant?
Me: (Thinking: What the heck!!! Whats your frigging business???!!!) Why?
S-I-L: Because I need to know so I can start making preparations.
Me: What preparations?
S-I-L: Answer me first
Me: (Really Pissed): Please ask my hubby, I can't answer that
S-I-L: Well, this is woman's talk so I can't ask him. That's why I am asking you
Me: Okay, I don't know (I started to move past her)
S-I-L: (Grabs my arm) Are you still seeing your menses?
Me: (stiffly) I don't know
S-I-L: Well, it doesn't matter if you are still seeing your menses
Me: Goodnight
S-I-L: I am talking to you
Me: Please go and ask my husband, I am not saying anything
S-I-L: You better let me know so I will know how to pray for you
Me: (Disgusted) What do you mean?
S-I-L: Ha, so I can know whether to pray God to do it or keep it
Me: Thank you
S-I-L: Which one of the prayers should i pray?
Me: You can pray both. Goodnight

I snatched my hand from her and I felt like turning back to give her the finger but I restrained myself.
I told hubby in the car and he said he was going to call her to warn her never to harass his wife again.
I told him to leave it and let sleeping dogs lie.
Can you imagine the gall, her effrontery!!!
I called my elder sister and she advised I stay away from her as she wasn't too comfortable with what happened.
I mean, I am close to my family and when I saw them last month, no-one pried.
I am driving myself nuts with worry and I am not sure I want to add anyone's over-zealous and nosy concerns to my list of worries..(hiss)
Why is it usually women that bicker and cause troube.
Gosh! I don't wanna be like this lot.
I never wanna do this to anyone....infact I am sure I'll never ever disrespect anybody's privacy like that.
Peeps, what do ye reckon??

I Want A Baby!!!

2007-05-13T12:01:00.001+01:00

I want to get pregnant!!
I want a baby!!!
Hubby and I have a very active/intense love life, well we should we've been married barely a year.
Anyways, despite this, I'm not getting preggies.
I have had two false alarms and we were both devastated when the red stain came up.
The red stain is here yet again and I am sore displeased.
I consulted my GP while I was in the UK last week and she said I should relax as most couples get pregnant in 1 or 2 years.
She advised to reduce lovemaking to 2/3times per week so as to allow the sperm settle and fertilise??? before it's washed away by fresh sperm.
She said to allow one full year and if nothing happens, hubby and I should report to the hospital for a series of tests!!
I hope we'll never resort to that in JESUS name.
Most of my friends got preggies during their honeymoon and had their babies within one year of marrying and I dont wanna be different.
I have a lovely marriage, a lovely home, a lovely husband and I just want lovely children, preferably twins to fill the balance.
Maybe, I should stop asking GOD for a set of twins first(lol) and just ask for fruitfulness.
GOD, I just wanna be a mummy!!!!
I told hubby we need to stop making love so intensely and he's not too enthusiastic as I've been away almost two weeks and he's quite starved (lol).
Anyway, we'll start the routine next month, keeping my fingers crossed.
I am so looking forward to motherhood.

Shopping Spree

2007-05-08T18:31:00.000+01:00

Well, my short holiday was fun.
The bridal shower, wedding, meeting old friends, visiting my former place of work and of course shopping till I dropped.
I even shed 5.6kg in less than 2weeks and reminded myself that living in London is an exercise.
I enjoyed running up and down the escalators at the tube stations, running to catch the cabs/buses, touring Brent Cross and the West End and walking the two sides of Oxford street to Marble Arch with my heavy shopping bags.
Of course I also had a shopping spree @ Jermyn street, I hold discount cards for a number of shirt-makers and my husband and I are lovers of good shirts.
Of course, I also went to Whitechapel, Liverpool Street, Finsbury Park and East Street markets.
These markets are tops for the cheapest bargains in high street clothes for wholesalers and even retailers but they sell without the clothes label.
Also if you missed out on an item from a previous season, it's very likely you'll find it there.
I got two boxes of formal and casual wear, shoes and bags to sell off in Lagos.
I have a couple of boutiques who buy off me and a number of friends and families who are loyal customers.
Talking about friends, why do some people buy stuff on credit and vanish for months but once they hear you have new stock, they are back with your money and hounding you for new stuff.
I know I have a great taste for clothing so my stuff don't stay in the house for long and I usually sell off my goods with at least a 100% profit if not more. (Lucky me)

I also ran errands for the bride, her groom and my family.
Londoners can so use you. (laughs)
I also babysat my beautiful nephews and nieces, I miss them the most.
Children are so lovely and cuddly and.......trusting too!!!
I also bought chinaware and little bits of decorations and frames for our home.
For the first time in my life, I claimed back VAT.
Of course, a high percentage of the VAT refund was claimed back as admin charges....heck!!
I ended up with 5bags weighing 27kg, 33kg, 36kg, 37kg and 42kg.
I paid excess on four bags...what the heck was I thinking!!!

Anyways, I got into another round of shopping at the duty free shops. I bought 3 wrist-watches, some wine and lots of chocolates. I also splashed on fragrances: DKNY, CK & Issey Miyake.
I absolutely love DKNY & CK Euphoria but hubby loves CK & Issey Miyake fragrances.
I stopped at MAC for a make-over and bought my make-up.
I ended up BURDENED with 3 large Duty-free bags and I forgot my jacket at the cashier's till.
The airline staff were however helpful and got someone to fetch my jacket as there was no way I was going to go back for the jacket with all of that load.
I felt sorry for myself but who knows when I'll be shopping on those familiar streets again???
I really enjoy shopping in London and I can't compare it with shopping in Lagos but I reckon I need to cut down so I can save some more....
What do you reckon?

Farewell Pastor Eskor

2007-05-08T07:01:00.000+01:00

I heard of Pastor Eskor's passing on two nights ago and I was speechless.
Several questions ran through my mind...
GOD why?!!!
How can???
But why????
At what age???
I couldn't think right but GOD knows best and understands.
I did a google search and found some articles.
I found some inspirational but there was a pathetic piece on a website: www.yomisays.com
I had to leave a comment as I couldn't believe people could be so petty and pathetic.
Here's my comment:

Yomi, be careful and judge not for judgement is of the LORD!!!!!

Who told you that these great men died just like that??? GOD is not a GOD of limitations, HE who said ‘NOTHING shall be impossible with HIM’ means long life and even a life without disease is possible. There may be trials, but in all we should rejoice that CHRIST is a CONQUEROR!!!!!

These great men taught what they believed in and healed many. Their teachings touched the lives of many people. Personally, Pastor Eskor was my Pronvicial Pastor and he taught once in my church. His teaching resulted in a turntable for me. His teachings were scriptural and he was filled with the HOLY SPIRIT.

DO not mock his death. He had an opportunity to live again but he chose heaven.

Remember that even our LORD JESUS cried to GOD on the cross but that did not take the death on the cross away. Yomi, you better know there is something called fulfilment.

It is estimated that Christ did not achieve the age of 40 and HE who performed all those miracles, died on a mere wooden cross but he lived a fulfilled life. All these greatmen and women lived fulfilled lives.

These are mighty men you scorned because they died. They may have died by mere disease or illness, but like Christ, they have touched lives and their teachings are still alive.

It takes someone that is spiritually mature to understand that indeed, there is nothing GOD can not do. He can heal, prosper and fulfil and that because these men died, it does not mean that GOD’s will for us to fulfil our years is a lie!

Remember Christ was mobbed many times and men sought to kill HIM before HE fulfilled the Word, but he escaped each time unscathed till it was time for HIM to die. Like CHRIST, these men lived above sickness and death at certain times in their lives, but it is appointed that someday, every man would die to give account of his life. So someday, we would all die.

By faith, I believe I will live long and fulfil my years. I choose to live a life that may displease some men but that would be pleasing to GOD. I choose to live a life where GOD would give me a pat at the end of my years and say: ‘My child, welldone!!!!

We as Christians should stand as one and be comforted that GOD knows best and we can not question HIS Judgement.If these men have died, we should be comforted that they died in CHRIST.

Yomi, I repeat….be careful!!!!

P.S.

This is a comment for your personal attention. I observe it’s subject to moderation, it’s ok if you don’t publish it. Just be careful

In response to my post, yomisays of course paid me some insults(lol). I wasn't even ranting. I found his piece very pathetic and of course he's done more name calling. I wish he understood the meaning of love and that love does not condemn. As a man of GOD, aren't there other ways to address such issues. I am not slightly bothered by him or his antics. I know I'll never have stumbled on his website were it not for Pastor Eskor's passing on and of course, if he has chosen to capitalise on that, I guess that should be none of my business.

Child Racism?? Renew Your Mind.

2007-05-01T22:31:00.000+01:00

My sister-in-law called my mum in tears last week.
Her daughter was refusing to go to school because some girl in her school was constantly taunting her on the colour of her skin.
She said the girl always told her to go and have a wash or tell her mum to give her a good scrub because her skin was too brown.
I was incensed when I heard and even more appalling was the fact that these girls are barely 6years old.
We agreed the matter had to be brought to the attention of the school authorities as it was obviously a case of 'child racism'.
The school was notified and they said the matter would be investigated.
My niece's class teacher expressed surprise as both girls were quite friendly to each other and often paired up together.

This morning, I went to a nearby park with my 1year old nephew.
There were very few people around and I let him have fun running around.
Not long after, a group of six/seven white children were led into the play-area.
My nephew squealed in delight and ran to join them.
They all ran in different directions, with the exception of a baby about his age who held on to his mother's skirt.
I tried to pull my nephew back but he was very delighted to see someone about the same size as him so he went after the baby again.
The baby ran away, a second time and I became very cross and started wondering if children are now taught to discriminate at such tender ages.
I thought the baby was very unfriendly.

On getting back home, I called my sister-in-law and I tearfully narrated what had happened to my innocent nephew.
To my surprise, she said most babies are shy when they meet other babies and it's not unusual for them to cling to their mothers.
She said her daughter's school had just called and advised that her daughter was the only 'dark-skinned African' in the school and the other little girl innocently thought she wasn't getting a good scrub.
The school also apologised and told her not to worry anymore as the case had been dealt with and rectified.

This prompted so many questions in my mind.
I have never personally experienced racism but I am aware it does exist.
However, I have learnt a lesson from children.
Things are not always what they seem................

Great Service Attitude

2007-05-01T01:35:00.000+01:00

Gosh, I have nearly forgotten what it's like to receive excellent customer service!
I don't want to moan about companies in Naija bcos it seems like I'm beginning to moan about Naija issues all the time.
Well, I bought myself a Nokia N91 Sim-free phone last year and you can imagine how much that cost me as it was quite new in the UK at the time.
Anyways, the phone packed up barely 4months afterwards.
You can imagine what a nightmare that was for me.
I went to the Nokia shop at 'The Palms' (Lagos, Nigeria) and I explained to them that I bought the phone while in the UK and it was still protected by warranty etc.
The lady I spoke with, took her time to admire the phone while I was speaking to her and asked: 'Did you buy it here????'
I wanted to scream: 'Are you deaf?????' but I calmly said no
I was told 'we only do sales, no repairs'.
I thanked her and asked politely if she or someone in the shop could direct me to a Nokia Service Centre, as Nokia is boldly displayed in front of the shop and the answer was a sharp: 'No, madam, we only sell brand new Nokia phones'
Whoa! Well, I walked into Carphone Warehouse @ Islington and an Asian bloke said he was sorry to hear my phone was bad. He advised me there was a service centre within 2-minutes walk and drew the directions for me on a piece of paper and I did not even buy the phone from them!!!!
'I am sure they can fix it for you' he said reassuringly.
I actually left the shop with a bounce and in good spirits.
Now the difference between customer service and excellent customer service is: Going the Extra Mile and minding your damn business!!!
If you can't fix the problem, you direct the customer to someone who can and you listen so you can attend to the customer quickly and not waste anybody's time!!!!!
I think Nigerian companies could do better if they took time out to train their staff and make them understand that the 'Customer is King'
What business would thrive without customers???!!
It really doesn't cost a thing to be nice.
It doesn't even hurt to help or put a smile on someone's face.
Do you reckon I'm losing it???
Well, I must mention I have received nothing but exceptional service from the 'Starcomms Data Centre' ie their call centre.
Those chaps are very conversational without being patronising and they always sound cheerful even when all I wanna do is moan about my Internet service.
Go Starcomms!!!!

Coming Up: My Best Friend's Wedding

2007-04-29T19:28:00.000+01:00

I am too knackered to start blogging about the buzz and excitement now. I am sure I am gonna have to do it over the space of one year but I'll do it..I am sure I will because it was so lovely. I think it was the most beautiful wedding I have ever been to but my friend thinks mine beat hers hands down.
I wonder how we can remain friends when we rarely agree....

Hubby's cross with me because I am extending my stay by 5days.
I have honestly been playing errand maid since I got here and I have not done any personal shopping.
I love shopping and I love walking the streets of the West end and I love my hubby aaand I have to do all my shopping or waste my baggage allowances......
How am I gonna bribe hubby cuz he's really cross!!!!
I reckon I'll cross that bridge when I get home.....

Someone Found Out About My Blog

2007-04-29T18:36:00.000+01:00

Since arriving in the UK, I have been playing errand maid to my friend, the bride, now a wife(yippee).
I updated my blog on her laptop on the 25th and so she's discovered my blog and unveiled my identity.
I always clear history after using the puter at home but I was careless....(shrug)
I am happy she's the one that discovered it anyway as I trust her with everything.
Of course, she's been asking about who I had my escapade with and I have cried out the whole River Thames and threatened to remove this blog.
I was so ashamed yet again, and it was like re-living the whole experience.
For the first time in my life, I let the whole weight of that guilty pasttime off as I confided in my friend.
I cried and my friend cried....no.... she actually wept with me and cursed 'the baggers: adulterous married men' with all the venom in her tiny frame.
We started sharing all the secrets we had never told anyone and boy, there was no denying it, sometimes we do some really stupid things but the 'choice' to move on is what makes us strong.
I thought I had a dark secret but my friend had a darker one and I have her permission to share it on my blog, so I'll do it someday.
We were laughing and crying together for hours and there was no consoling us.
But it was a great release, a shed burden!
We held hands and prayed our husbands would remain faithful.
I thought I had forgiven myself before but I have just truly and really forgiven myself.
Some friends are better than all the wealth of this world and I just want to thank you for being a true friend.....
I wish I could say more but I am still knackered from your wedding and there's simplicity in using few words.
I know you'll be reading this from now on and I can't stop you but I trust you and I know you won't betray me.

Hoping For A New Nigeria

2007-04-26T02:27:00.000+01:00

It wasn't too much of a surprise to learn that Yaradua won the presidential election(yawn).
Afterall, Mr President already declared that it was a do-or-die affair for PDP.
I hope above all these that we will have a new Nigeria.
Although some speak in glowing terms of Yaradua, I beg to differ (Nothing Personal).
I was posted to Katsina state for my NYSC programme, and I was quite enthusiastic that I would shed some pounds (weight) gained from years of eating KFC & MacDonalds.
I only 'managed' to stay in Katsina for 3months before packing my bags and returning to England.
I found the living conditions in Katsina quite unbearable and I returned to England barely three months into the programme.
I would not blame Mr Yaradua for the extremely hot weather as it's no fault of his.
I am shocked that people speak of him in glowing terms especially about all he's done in Katsina.
He might have done a lot, but he has neglected what I would term 'the most basic and important thing'
In my opinion, he has neglected to educate his people.
There is power in education, but our northern allies have been denied severally of this priviledge.
In Katsina, children learn to beg from a very tender age and have little or no interest in education.
Many children said they aspired to become 'corpers' (A community service every Nigerian graduate undergoes immediately after graduating) so they could receive the 'corper's monthly allowance: N7500')
We encouraged them to go to school but that was just very boring talk.
I also observed that the men treated women very condescendingly.

I lodged in a hotel at Katsina for the duration of my stay and I had to question my sanity so many times.
Men lodged in the same hotel with young girls from age 14 and indulged in groupsex and acts of drunkenness.
These men wore Hausa regalia and spoke in hausa but I'm not sure if they were indigenes of Katsina but I know they were 'big men' ie men with bucks..
I found this hypocritic as Katsina is a Sharia state but then, in Nigeria, only the grassroot thieves are prosecuted, aint it?

I hope Mr Yaradua would remember his promises to the people of this nation.
I hope that Nigeria, like Ghana would soon celebrate 3years of 'uninterrupted power supply'
I hope we would say farewell to bribery, corruption and 'Ghana-must-go' in high places
I hope we would be able to live, drive and shop in pollution-free areas.
I hope our children would have better opportunities than we did.
I hope Nigerians would stop having a thieving mentality.
I hope the basic things of life would not be a luxury to the masses.
I hope for security of lives in our nation.
I hope for good road networks, I mean it's so much fun to drive abroad.
I hope Nigerians would have a new respect for the laws of this country and it's enforcement agents.
I hope the police would be better paid and taken care of so they can stop collecting N50 bribes.
I hope our northern allies(rich and poor) would be more encouraged to educate their children.
I hope Mr Yaradua can make Nigerians proud.
I hope for a beautiful and shining Nigeria
I hope for a New Nigeria, that will be the true giant of Africa.
I hope it is not too much to ask for.......

How Do I Cope in Naija???

2007-04-22T13:54:00.000+01:00

I arrived in London Heathrow on Saturday morning.
Once I got through Customs & Immigrations, I almost started crying.
I began to ask myself how I could give up my life in he UK for my beloved.
When I saw my brother among the crowd, I hugged him and I just started crying.
He was confused and he just held me while people looked on
He held me quietly in one arm and wheeled my luggage with the other as we walked to the car park.
With me, when I am crying, it's best to leave me alone till I'm in safe mode or else I'll become so hysterical.
My bro put my luggage into the car while I stood wiping my eyes.

Bro: Are you better now?
Me: I think so(sigh!)
Bro: Whats wrong?
Me: I'm just asking myself questions(shrug).

Can I actually settle back in Naija?
I am married to a 'big boy' (rich bloke) and I have lots of my own money but Lagos is so loud and lawless.
There is no respect for the law and even law enforcement officers do not have any respect for themselves.
Many places in Lagos are characterised with chaos!!!!
There's never any light (Electric Power Supply) and I'm even getting headaches from generator noise!
The roads are bad and poorly maintained!
In short, the state of social amenities and infrastructure is below average!
Sometimes I just want to walk to the park but there's none......except I don't know of it.
There's poverty, suffering and frustration written across the foreheads of the men on the street
Beggars, disabled men and lunatics are littered everywhere.
Job interviewers lack respect and good manners and they believe they are doing you a favour!!!
I comfort myself all the time by saying it's not so bad, maybe it's not.
But the honest truth is:::: Lagos is filthy and polluted!!!
Lagos is bad!!!
And only GOD can save us
I'm still asking myself if I was mad to give up a 'great 4year IT job with GREAT career prospects' to marry my heartthrob!!!
Truth is, it was quite easy for me to give up my life in the UK but living without it is a big torment!
I hope I will survive somehow cos I never want to be separated extensively from hubby so I wont have a long-distance marriage.

I met a couple of neighbours when we got home and I wasn't surprised when they chorused:
You've become so dark!!!! What happenned???!!!
Me: Naija happenned

The truth is, I have not used any body cream in like 2/3months because of the intense heat.
I keep wondering how fair-skinned Lagosians are able to keep fair.
Well, I'm not an expert with body-creams so I wouldn't know.
I have turned from a nice, clean shade of cream chocolate skin colour to an ugly black colour.
Well, I'm in London till Saturday for my best friend's wedding.
She came all the way to Lagos for mine and she made me her 'Maid of Honour' so there was no way hubby could say 'No'
I'm hoping I'll have a restful week.

Phew::::::::::I just asked myself how I manage without Broadband!

Evil & Reckless Nigerian Bus Drivers

2007-04-18T09:28:00.000+01:00

My Nissan Altima has been wrecked!!!!
I was exiting the service lane to join the express when this driver zoomed into my car from nowhere.
I had the shock of my life as I heard the sound of breaking glass, crushing metal and the car was suddenly jerked to the other side of the road!!
A policeman and nearby witnesses stopped the driver as he tried to make a run.
Suddenly, the bus passengers were confronting me, mercilessly harassing me and saying I was at fault!!!
Because I was in shock, I could barely talk and I almost fainted when I saw the mess he had made of my brand new car!!!
We were in front of a police station and of course, we had caused a mighty big scene.
I was speechless and trying hard not to cry.
The wretched old driver came to me and started prostrating and pleading for mercy but his irate passengers told him to get up as there was no need to beg me, it was my fault!!!

I calmly regained my nerves and told the policemen to lead us into the police station for an investigation.
They made drawings of the scene and someone drove my car into the station while the officer drove the bus in behind us.
I called hubby to tell him and he was anxious about my wellbeing because I had begun to cry hysterically.
We bought the car on lease and we haven't even used it for up to a year.
Hubby assured me he would contact our insurance coy and we could get the car fixed or buy another one as long as I was okay.
He promised to join me at the station ASAP with his lawyer.

At the investigation unit, we were asked to give our statements.
I started to write mine but the driver was illiterate and had to speak in Nigerian dialect while an officer wrote it out for him.
He said I ran into his car, end of.
I was shocked as it was so obvious he was lying
He was unable to produce a valid driver's license and he admitted he did not consult his mirror before driving into the exit.
I already knew I was vindicated as he was a staunch liar.
Officers advised us to compromise or we would have to go to court.
I said I was ready to go to court and that my hubby was on the way with his lawyer.
I told the officers to impound both cars as I was going to make sure he fixed my car, if it means selling off the bus.
I FELT LIKE KICKING THE DRIVER AND TEARING OFF THE FLESH ON HIS FACE!!!!
The driver began prostrating again and offered me two thousand five hundred naira amidst pleas.
I actually felt sorry for him and I might have asked him to go if it wasn't for a police officer who insisted the driver was reckless and did not deserve any mercy.
He asked me to call whoever was going to fix the car to get a quotation
Driver: Ahhh!!! Oga I begi, pulease help me, abegi. I use GOD beg una, abegi (prayers, prayers, prayers)
So I called hubby to call a car technician but he said he had contacted our insurance company and they were on the way to the station.
I told him I was beginning to feel sorry for the poor chap but he said no way and vehemently insisted that I should not give ear to his pleas.
Anyways, hubby arrived with lawyer and we said we were ready to go to court.
The owner of the bus was contacted, when he arrived he said he had warned the man repeatedly about his reckless driving.
He said he wanted his bus back and was not willing to pay a dime as whatever happened to the driver was no concern of his but police said the bus had to be held as evidence.
Bus owner started crying, cursing and begging.
It's sad but many Nigerians are suffering, really suffering.
He said it was the only source of income he had to of himself, wife, mother and 9chilren
Hubby said it was a sob story and refused to budge, so 'I started begging hubby on their behalf'....Can you imagine the irony?!!!
Eventually, hubby said he would only let them go when the car technician and insurance arrived.

Car Technician quoted N70,000 - N80000.
Cries, Pleas, Curses ensued from driver and car owner.
Hubby: How much will you pay.
Driver: N2500, I swear that's all I have
Hubby: You are not serious
Owner: How much make we pay?
Hubby: At least N20000 so you both learn a lesson
Both: Please sir, please sir, oga please

Eventually, it was agreed that they will pay N10000 at the spot and deposit N2000 per day for 5days at the police station.
Insurance took our statement and said they will contact us.
They towed our car away.....(sigh)
Police said they would not release the bus till the money was fully paid, which we agreed to.
Anyways, at the end of a gruelling 4 and a half hours, the ordeal came to an end but I must mention we had to buy 2 higher education notebooks each, hubby had to give the police 'some money' because we were told to see oga and hubby had to give the cop at the gate N200 for opening and closing the gate for us.
Phew!!!
What do u reckon....was it worth the stress?
I forgot to mention the police station was filthy and it stank!!!!

Governorship Elections in Lagos Nigeria

2007-04-17T08:09:00.000+01:00

Registering to vote was a nightmare, but exercising my right to vote was even worse.
As we had been advised of restricted movement on election day, I had to leave home on Friday night for Magodo, where I registered.
I checked into De-Suites hotels on Friday night and I was ready to vote by 0900am, alas, INEC officials were nowhere to be found.
They(INEC) eventually arrived at about 1300pm and were completely deaf to our suggestions on how to hasten the process.
They had to carry out verification/accreditation of voters credibility first by searching through five(5) registration handbooks page-by-page for the voter's details, in this age of technology?????
The names were arranged according to the order we registered, hence it wasn't even alphabetical.
In the space of 5hours, less than 70people and an unknown number of senior citizens had been attended to.
As you can imagine, a higher majority of us were left waiting in doubt of whether or not we would be able to vote.
I've got dual citizenship and I have voted in the UK twice, I swear Nigeria has a long w-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay to go!!!

Eventually, a resident of Magodo took charge and asked for suggestions and we agreed it would be better to call out ten-twenty names in the order they appeared instead of searching through 5books for a voter's name.
Of course, those in the front queue protested and won't agree. The senior citizens also kicked against it and I began to wonder what INEC meant when it announced that they were fully ready for the elections.
In my opinion, the INEC staff at Magodo Police Station, Polling Booth 014, were lacking in training and materials and were either not ready for the election or they had a scheme to connive with a party to impose a candidate on us.
What I mean is, the new process was obviously faster and in the space of less than an hour, the INEC official said he had run out of ballot paper and he was going to count the 300votes and leave.
Magodo is an elite estate and its residents are known for their appreciation of peace and quiet but on Saturday, they united in one voice against malpractice and questioned why 300papers were provided for a centre that registered 1200people!!!!!!
Men and women, young and old confronted the officials and refused to allow them leave or count the votes.
Eventually, two hours later and after several calls were made, more ballot paper arrived and everyone was able to vote amidst lots of struggling, pushing and pulling.
As for hubby,he said he didn't have a candidate and couldn't care less about voting as INEC was going to impose someone, most likely Koro, on us but I insisted it was my civic duty and I ensured I voted amidst all the challenges.
Of course, I voted for Raji Fashola. Why?
I think he's a distinguished gentleman.
I think he would finish up Tinubu's unfinished work: continuity!
I think he's much less of a tout than Koro, therefore he will make a better leader.
I think his slogan: 'Eko O Ni Baje' is inspiring.
I think he might have a sound mind.

Jimi Agbaje was my second choice but I knew he didn't have a chance in this election as Fashola and Koro are more popular, maybe in 2011..
As for Fashola, I'm happy he won as I'm strongly against PDP.
My dad and uncle are members of the PDP but I don't support their party in any way.
Also, while visiting in Magodo last month, there was a PDP meeting/rally somewhere on Tokunbo Macaulay and the place was packed with area boys.
I was turning into the street when my car was surrounded by area boys aggressively ordering me to reverse.
I was adamant and they started hitting and pushing my car till I reversed.
A convoy of jeeps, cars and buses bearing posters and paintings of 'Kafilah Ogbara?' tore into the street at high speed.
In my head, I thought a woman????? A woman????? A female politician???? PDP???
Harassing citizens of Nigeria with touts?????
And I vowed not to vote for PDP.

As hubby had insisted that I stay in Magodo till Sunday, I checked out of the hotel and went to my parents' home further down the road.
On getting home, Dad was not happy at all as Fashola had won with a wide margin in Magodo and even Jimi Agbaje fared better than Obanikoro.
I asked how he knew and he said that in the spirit of transparency, INEC officials had to count and record the votes in the presence of party officials before leaving the voting booth.
I kept shut and didnt tell him I had voted the opposition, not that he would kill me but just for peace sake.....
My uncle's wife later called from Ikoyi with the same news: Fashola won in her polling station but someone told her that PDP had won in 15local governments already so it didn't matter.
I wasn't happy to hear that, but I jumped for joy when it was officially announced that Fashola won the Lagos Gubernatorial Election!!!!

To Fashola:
I congratulate you, please don't let the good people of this state down!!!!

Easter Surprise

2007-04-14T07:17:00.000+01:00

I've just returned from holiday in Egypt, an Easter Surprise Pressie from hubby!!!
It's so hard to believe Egypt is an African country.
It was my second visit to Egypt.
We went on a Nile Cruise, toured Sharm-el-Sheikh, climbed Mount Sinai(for me, part of Mount Sinai but hubby was more adventurous) and we visited the pyramids of Giza.....spooky pyramids.
Hubby and I had a camel ride, I was screaming all the way especially when the camel was getting up...coward!!!
Our pictures are hilarious.
We lodged in the beautiful city of Alexandria.
I must say the place was filled with Brits, yeah all they ever do is holiday.
I ran into a sour-puss from my last office, she kept staring rudely at me so I told hubby I was going to do something rude.
When I caught her staring at me again, I returned her stare with a look of disgust and I gave her an evil eye, that was the last I saw of her....hehehehe!
The tour guides were absolutely lovely and so encouraging, of course we spent loads of OUR HARD-EARNED money but we had fun and I think I lost some weight.
I must confess I had a swell time and it was a lovely time-off to de-stress, considering the intense heat in Lagos and of course, it was a good break from unsteady power supply. GOD help Nigeria!!!!!

Some guy was trying to make conversation with me by the poolside when hubby went to get us drinks.
Hubby returned and boasted: 'Don't you think my wife is beautiful'
Poor chap was like: Yeah!! She's an adorable package, very pretty face.
It turned out they both schooled and lived in Southampton for years....boring talks ensued.
Did you know...? Oh yeah.....and .......
But Egypt was fun and I just wanna thank hubby for such a wonderful present.

Back to Naija, my kitchen stinks as all my frozen food got spoilt. I had to dash out to do some food shopping so we don't starve to death. We've been using the generator since we got back home....phew!

And Egypt is an African country?
And Egypt doesn't claim to be the Giant of Africa!!!
Peeps, what do you reckon we have to do?
Methinks, we all should vote wisely.
I am voting Raji Fashola...the SAN with a sound mind!!!

Hubby's Birthday

2007-04-06T09:12:00.000+01:00

April 4th 2007 was a beautiful day, my hubby turned 31....yeeeeeaaH!!!!!

Happy birthday, my love. I wish you many more years, yes oh.

Hubby and I slept early on his birthday eve so we could wake up at midnight to do a birthday prayer and did we pray!!!
I prayed fervently that GOD would remember my hubby in all the finest things of life and that we would never be ashamed or have any regrets re: our marriage..Amen.

It was an intense and long prayer and afterwards, I sprang up and presented hubby with a birthday card

I woke Birthday Boy up with a very wet kiss and we just cuddled up in bed for another 5minutes reminiscing .

I had decided I was going to do thirty one special things to make his day extra-special and memorable.

Me: So what are you wearing?
Hubby: I'm a big boy dear so I dont wear birthday clothes, maybe if you insist, I'll wear one of my new shirts
Me: Dear, you should be wearing all new stuff today
Hubby: Go away
Me: Lets go and open your gifts
Hubby smiles and follwos me to the dining room.
I had placed a huge box card and 5other cards of various sizes on the table along with various gift-wrapped parcels.
A big 'Happy Birthday Dear Husband' Halogen balloon is floating and touching the ceiling.
A Large Square cake decorated in Blue and Cream with some very private code message.....sorry peeps.
Hubby looks excited as he unwrapped the first parcel, it's a blue TM Lewin shirt and matching tie(bought from Twice as Nice, The Palms in Lekki)
Hubby: (kisses moi) Thanx love, I'll wear these today
Next parcel is a pair of socks and a set of men's handkerchief
Hubby: (laughing) Birthday clothes, yeah?
Next gift is an 18carat two-tone Italian gold necklace with matching handchain. (Grrrrh!!! I bought it on credit because I promised hubby one over 3years ago. I am going to get the money back from him, cunningly.....I'm a woman, ain't it??)
Hubby: Is it gold?
I pinched him playfully and nodded as he wouldn't know cos he's never ever owned one. He can't believe how much it costs to buy gold and he thinks it's a waste of money and completely ridiculous
Hubby: Sweetheart, how much is this? It looks really expensive....but I cant wear it today, maybe weekends
I shrugged quietly, calculating the scheme I would use to get my money back. Hubby spoils me all the time with pressies and money so I was very happy to see the smile on his face.(smiles)

Hubby: How many presents?
Me: You are getting 31 gifts today
Hubby: (Excited, almost bouncing on the dining chair. He looked like a child unwrapping his Xmas gifts, you lot shoulda seen his face,...cute, radiant. My husband is very easy to read. Very expressive....I wont start now, he's my baby-buuuuu buuuu) 31 gifts? It's not possible dear. You'll go bankrupt,,hahhahhaahhha
(He's laughing because he's just unwrapped a giant-faced Swatch wrist-watch I bought on impulse at the Palms(Wranglers, methinks).
He reaches for me and smack....I got a wet, slurpy kiss. My hubby's oozing out so much excitement that I'm also quite excited and I'm smiling like an idiot...not that I'm one.
Hubby: Babes, do you think I'm going to work today?
Me: You have to
Hubby: Are there pressies at work too?
Me: Come on!
Hubby: I'm so sure you have planned a surprise party. I am so very sure The party would be my 31st Surprise. I'll still be surprised hon. I promise I wont ruin it
Me: You better pack some casuals then
Hubby: Babes, you are too much!!!! Another kiss, mwah, mwah, mwah
Hubby reaches for last gift, it's an 'Issey Miyake' perfume and aftershave set. I bought it in December @ Harrods (Heathrow Airport Duty Free Shop). Hubby pullsme up and we have a long one
Hubby: You are a wonderful wife. I know I will never regret marrying you
Me: Same here hon xxxxxxxxx..........

Hubby finally leaves for work at 7am. He looks so handsome. He's glowing like....I'm short of words, can someone help me?
From 800am till 500pm, I sent one text message per hour.
Text At 800am: What I Love About you
(peeps, you gotta mind your own here cos I'm not sharing)
Text At 900am: How Can I love you when.......
Text At 1000am: 7 Love Confessions
Text At 1100am: Why I Love You & I sent my driver to hubby's secretary with some Birthday Goodies for his Colleagues(hubby didn't like this one)
Text At 12noon: 7 Things I'm Gonna Do with you
Text At 100pm: 7 What Ifs.....
Text At 200pm: 7 Promises I Make to you
Text At 300pm: What I think about you
Text At 400pm: A Prayer for you
Text At 500pm: Tonight, I promise you the time of your life and my 31st gift. You must leave work now babes

As I am technically jobless, ok I'm setting up my business, I have all the time in the world to do as I please.
Well, I was sitting in my hubby's Jeep by half four, patiently waiting for him at the back seat. I had packed him an overnight bag with fresh clothes, underwear and toiletries for the next day, my last gift was Dinner & Overnight Lodging @ L'Escale Hotel & Restaurant at the very same.....very nice......
Hubby finally approached his car at 5:15pm......Grrrhhh.
But thank goodness he was alone. He was on the phone talking quite loudly and taking his time.
I quickly switched off the ignition and pursed my spare key.
He finally opened the car door and flung his jacket across the driver seat.
I'm squatting behind the driver's seat holding my breath as he settles into his seat and then my phone started ringing very loudly.
Me(stiffened and held my breath): Oh blast!!!!
Hubby: Ha? Ha?
Hubby got out of his seat to look for the offending phone and finds his plump wife panting and smiling foolishly....
Me: (weakly) Surprise!!!!!!
Hubby: (laughing, he's such a good sport!!) Babes, you better come out of there before you kill yourself. Shebi u said I should hurry home for surprise number 31. We have to audit these surprises to make sure it's complete oh
Hubby helped me outta the car and I told him we were parrying @ L'Escale.He had never heard of it but we sure enjoyed the night and hubby has it all written somewhere to tell our children and grandchildren....how cute!!!

So peeps, do you reckon I did a good job? I sure believe hubby will never forget and if he ever finds out about this blog, I'LL BE IN BIG TROUBLE!!!! Why? He'll know it's moi.

PS( To Hubby OAO) : If u EVER read this blog or find out about it, I know you'll know it's me. Please remember this day and know I love you with all my heart

Nigerian Police- A Social Problem????

2007-04-05T07:16:00.000+01:00

Why is the Nigerian Police constantly extorting money from the citizens of this nation and causing unnecessary delays?
I am yet to meet a self-respected and honourable policeman who would change this impression.
Having lived extensively in Canada and the United Kingdom, some reckon my opinion is biased, well at least it's my opinion.
I won't excuse the citizens of Nigeria either as many Nigerians would rather tip policemen to avoid 'unnecessary delays'.
I am even more ashamed to say my hubby is also a culprit of bribing police officers but I will never ever ever bribe one.

Here goes, I was out yesterday to do this month's shopping(groceries).
My car boot was packed with raw foods like: rice, garri, yams, pepper, frozen fish, chicken, beef, assorted meats, veggies etc.
As a result of this, I put the processed foods and drinks in my back seat.
We were approaching Opebi Link road when I observed my driver was on the wrong lane, I scolded him and advised him to trafficate right and do a right turn as we could not go straight. The car ignition went off as he did so and he restarted immediately.
An impatient Nigerian behind us blared his horn and suddenly, about 8 uniformed officers: policemen and LASTMA had surrounded the car like a swarm of bees and they were trying to jerk the car door open.
The driver unlocked the central lock and two men tried to scramble into the packed back seat of my car while a LASTMA official squeezed half his body into my seat and tried to jam the door!!!! A BRAND NEW CAR!!!!

Me: (I reach out to stop LASTMA from jamming the door) Are you crazy? What is going on?
Voices: Obstruction of traffic!! Madam you are obstructing traffic!!!! Turn right and park madam!!!
I observed someone was trying to make room for a seat at the back and he's moving my provision carelessly. I am totally pissed off now. Horns are blaring loudly behind us, so much noise!!!
Me: Officer!!! Get out of my seat now!!!
LASTMA: Madam just turn right, obey before complain.
Me: Can you get your filthy body out of here or I will slap you (See, I'm usually a coward but they had brought out the lion in me)
LASTMA:Madam, you can not threaten or assault an officer (Yeah, he got that right)
I observed someone was gesturing to my driver to turn right so I switched off the ignition and removed the car key
Me: It looks like we are going to sleep here today. I will not move till you lot get out of my car and if you have damaged my shopping, you are going to have it today
Voice: This woman is stubborn, take her to the office
Voice: Madam, you are blocking other road users(Horns are blaring sooo loudly but I'm past caring. I am calling my hubby's phone)
Me: Sweetheart, I'm being harassed by some LASTMA & Police officers at Opebi Link road
Voice: (yelling and hitting my car bonnet) Madam, clear from the road or I'll tow this vehicle. This is not a phoning matter
Me: I think we are going to their office
Hubby: Dear, just give them N500, they'll leave you. If you go to their office, they'll delay you.
Me: (to LASTMA) Where is your office?
LASTMA: Madam, park first
Me: Then get out of my car
Hubby: Dear, give them the phone, tell them your husband wants to talk to them, maybe I'll text them some credit cos I know you....
Me: Later dear.
Voice: Come out of the car, this woman is causing holdup
LASTMA gets out, a skinny policeman has squeezed into the back by now. I jammed my door and ordered the driver to move the car. There are 3men in front of the car, gesturing towards the right. We turned right but they remained standing in front of the car
My driver:(in local dialect) Comot from road make I no clear you; you go just die like chicken
Policeman: Can I see your particulars
My driver passes them to him, he glances through
Policeman: Where is the owner of this car?
Me:It's mine
LASTMA: Madam we are arresting you for obstructing traffic
Me: When and How? (I got out of the car. I have a posh English accent,no matter how I try to localiseit,,,aargggh!!! I flashed my ring)
Look, I am a married woman and I won't let you waste my time. My car ignition went off and he(my driver) restarted it immediately. As you can see, my trafficator is pointing right. How can you accuse me of obstructing traffic because the car stopped? I am sure I don't look like a car technician.
LASTMA to Police: Was the pointer on?
Police: Yes
LASTMA: Madam, please you have to respect the law next time. I'll have mercy on you today but don't do it next time
Me: Try respecting yourself first and avoid embarrassing the people you should protect. And please give your uniform a good wash and scrub your body when you get home cos you stink!!!!
LASTMA:(Walking away with Police Officer) Women! Dem dey too stubborn. This one na craze woman(police laughs)
I got back into the car...phew.
Me(To driver): Lets go
Driver: Oga, abeg comot for car, we dey go abi u wan follow us go house?
Me: (The skinny cop was still squeezed into the back seat) Can you get out of my car and go back to your duty post now
Cop: Madam, wetin dem tell you
Driver: Dem say make we dey go
Cop: He no possible, go and call the LASTMA to confirm this before I comot. Hurry oh because he don go far. If he go, he mean say I go carry you to station
My driver started getting outta the car
Me:(To Driver) Where are you going? Will you sit there!!!
Me: (To Skinny Cop) Officer, are you telling me that you take your instructions from LASTMA? You!!! A police officer? I cannot believe my ears. Will you get outta my car NOW, you moron(oops)!!!!!!!!
Skinny Cop: (stammers) Madam, I am taking you to the station. You are very stubborn
Me:(I jumped outta the car) Then lets go!Where is your station? I am a citizen of Nigeria and the police should be my friend!!!! If you want a bribe, then you have met the wrong person
Skinny Cop: (stammers) Madam, I have not asked you for anything
Me: Then get outta my car and go back to your duty post. You have not been designated as my aide so tell me what you are doing in my car, harassing me and asking me to call LASTMA to instruct youuuuu!!!!
Skinny Cop: (still stammering and barely coherent) Madam, you can see I am not shouting like a woman. Stop shouting on me.
Me: (Was I irked!!!!) I will shout because your conduct is disgusting. Why are you hiding your name and ID number behind that vest? In fact, I'm going to make a complaint about you. What is your name???!! Lets go to you station and if you have damaged any of my stuff, you are done for
There's a small crowd now. I am flailing my arms and yelling like a banshee! But I am beyond caring.
Skinny Cop: Na wa for you. You think I am afraid to go to the station. If if if I take you to station, you'll regret it
Me: Stop threatening me and lets go
Driver: Mummy, let us go. By the time we carry him to Lekki, he'll know
Skinny Cop: (Shakes his head, he looks really embarrassed and opens the door) I..I...I..I'll p.p....pardon you
Me: (I get back into the car) Get out!! Stop being a nuisance
Skinny Cop: Yoou yoouuuu this madam, yoooou you you are too stubborn a.a..aa...nd rude, you better go and change. Your ...your... your mouth is too sharp
Me: Whatever. Go and brush your teeth
Skinny Cop:(sighs/laughs, I'm not sure) I said I will pardon you
Driver: Thank you
I gave him an evil look as he alighted. There's general laughter from spectators as we drive off.

Phew!!!!

Still on Reckless Nigerian Drivers...'Molue'

2007-04-04T07:47:00.000+01:00

If you've ever lived in Lagos, Nigeria you will be familiar with the 'molue bus'. 'Molue' is an 'abandoned american school bus' transformed into mass transit buses for very low-income commuters in Lagos.
They are mighty road bullies, very poorly maintained and they always carry more passengers than they should. I
t is not unfamiliar in Lagos to see 6people or more; men, women and children hanging off its entrance or exit doors.
They have the loudest horns and the worst brakes, and have been the major cause of most accidents in Lagos.
Phew!!!!

I have had these pictures for a month or so.
It's the scene of another molue accident caused by brake failure.
About eight passengers were flung off the third mainland bridge into the waters below.
Needless to say, there was no survivor.
I wonder how many Nigerians can swim, though.
Anyway, the pictures are of 'fishermen turned rescuers'.
A fully uniformed Naval Officer stood in one of the canoes giving instructions to some swimmers who I assume were fishermen.

I was very troubled and I began to wonder how the common men in Nigeria survive when Lagos state cannot boast of emergency rescue facilities for such accidents.
I also began to wonder if we ever learn anything from other countries.
Many Nigerians watch movies and Reality series and know how servicemen(lifeguards, policemen, firemen etc) would risk their own lives to carry out their duties.
It's sad about the lack of facilities in our country, sad about our lackadaisical attitude to our commitments as citizens of this country, we all are sad.
We cant blame anyone,,,,,well on second thoughts we may be able to blame some but is that what we are gonna spend the rest of our lives doing??

What do ye Reckon???

April Fools..laugh

2007-04-03T08:15:00.000+01:00

Peeps, I've not stopped laughing and crying since Sunday at my April Fool stunt.

You see, mischief is my middle name.
I just love having a laugh at others and of course even at my good self.
My hubby returned home on Sunday and he said all he wanted was a good rest.
I made him a good lunch and I joined him in the shower, I just love bathing with him.
Anyway, we went off to sleep and I laid restless in his arms as he snored lightly beside me.
My hubby has the best cuddle in the world, I'll tell you about that on another day.
Here goes, while hubby slept away, I caressed his beautiful eyebrows and lips and wondered why this gorgeous stud chose moi outta all them pretty damsels in Nigeria.
I soon grew bored with my musings and got up to go to our gym room.
I was exhausted after a gruelling 15minutes workout so I settled in front of the TV.
I am not a soap opera/movie person per say and my reliable reality shows soon failed me as well, yet sleep still evaded me.
I started searching and wandering round the house and I found an Halloween mask I had from way back...dingdong....I had actually forgotten it was April Fools. So I decided to play a prank on the hubby.

I found the black robe I had worn with the mask and quickly changed but my problem was with the voice, you see, my voice is so distinct that people recognise it even in the dark.
Personally, I think it's a very squeaky voice but people say it's husky and sexy...well I wouldn't know because I've listened to my voice recordings and I can't stand the sound of the voice,,,,grrrrh.
I searched my Music file and of course, I found the perfect eerie, scary one(smiles).
Evil laughs, ghost sounds and a scary-looking figure in a dark room....mmmh perfect!!!!!
I drew the curtains,dimmed d light and placed my laptop in a corner of the room and then I thought, a knife at his throat would spice things a bit!!!!!
I quickly decided against that and took the knife sharpener instead, I hit the play button on my puter.
By now, I was kneeling beside the bed with the knife clutched in my hands, pointing at his head and the sounds started from a low pitch and rised soooo slowly and steadily.
I was peeing in my pants now with pent up laughter and doing a slow side-side dance on my knees.

Hubby stirred,,,,
Hubby stiffened,,,,
Hubby opened his eyes,,,,trying to listen with his eyeballs almost popping out of their sockets
Hubby hasn't seen me yet. He has a look of fear, shock, disbelief, paralysis...i simply cant describe it, it was hilarious.
D eerie sounds are so loud that I'm also feeling scared and hoping I wont be a victim of my trick
Hubby springs up, sees my masked face with the pointed knife sharpener
Hubby screams...Ahhhhh! (a loud guttural scream like someone who is face to face with death)
Hubby rolls to the other side of the bed(Jackie Chan speed and style)...I get off my knees shaking in quiet mirth
Hubby:(yelling in his thunderous voice) Oh my GOD!!! Who are you?!!!! What do you want? Am I dreaming? I rebuke you, I rebuke you, I rebuke you in d name of D Lord. (I stagger and pretend to fall)
Hubby:(He's really yelling and I'm worried about the neighbours) I cast you out of this house.
Get out and never come back (I make a run for him)
Hubby dashes/runs to the other side of the room and leaps on d bed, I follow and grab his ankle, he grabs my wrist and we begin to struggle for the knife sharpener
Hubby: (yelling) I will live and not die, I am more than a conqueror.I will fulfil my years........

Suddenly the door busts open, and the lights are turned on

Hubby: Help!!! E gba mi oh
I am laughing, it's our neighbours standing with a look of horror. The wife runs out with her little daughter, screaming Blood of J!
I let go of the sharpener and my hubby is raising it to stab me????!!!
I scream: Honey stop it, It's April Fool !!!!
Just in time to save my narrow arse and my heart. D sharpener narrowly missed my chest and landed in my arm pit,,,,,,,Aaaaargghh so painfuuuuuuul

I got a good scolding
Hubby: M, this is not funny, it's not funny at all
Me: (Moaning and clutchng my armpit in intense pain, these men can be so powerful)
Neighbour: Mrs O, this is not good at all. We were scared, ah see how u have embarrassed your hubby
Hubby: She has embarrassed herself not me (He tears off my mask and he's laughing)
Neighbour's wife returns with her Bible, she's locked her child in the house and sees us.
Neighbour's wife(To her husband): Is it April fool? I told you it was April Fool
My hubby ushers them out of our bedroom....our private area...d nosey idiots
Well, what can I say,my hubby had the last laugh,
I ended up with a bruised armpit, the victim of my own joke

And I was so thankful to that voice of caution that made me take a knife sharpener with blunt edges.....i for don die.

It's my hubby's birthday in 2days & he thinks I'm planning a surprise party but ehhhhnnn, I'm broke, so no parry for him just pressies and ...whatever

My Darkest Secrets...contd

2007-04-01T00:02:00.000+01:00

Today's not been a good day.
I ran into a truck while shooting daggers at its driver for rough driving.
Now I have to spend a fortune to get my car fixed plus I bruised my arm, maybe broke my wedding ring finger and pinkie and I lost my glasses.
Yeah! Just my day

Well, I was lucky to be born with a silver spoon but then my dad's fortune turned from high-income to low-income and settled on medium income but my mum started trading and sort of boosted everything up. She promised we'll never suffer as long as she lived and did she try. So you see, I never had a reason to have a boyfee to get by as I usually had things in abundance as a student, a few hard times but nothing drastic.

You can understand why I didn't have a money motive to date an old man,, middle-aged more like. Anyways, I told a couple of friends about my escapade and they kept going on about how I was missing a golden opportunity to make big money as all I had to do was play smart. I told them I wasn't streetwise and I couldn't risk it and I would rather seek opportunities elsewhere. Meanwhile, the crazy man kept calling my phones but I ignored his calls. One day, while resting in my bedroom,my phone rang and an unfamiliar voice accused
He: Are you a Christian?
Me: Who are you?
He: Answer me, are you a Christian
Me: What bizness of yours is it if I am
He: Well, it's my bizness because I hurt you and you've not given me the opportunity to apologise
Me: What? Who are you?
He: Will you forgive me no matter what I've done
Me: (quiet)
He: Remember you are a Christian
Me: Yes, I'll forgive you
He: It's me, OO
Me: Good-Afternoon Sir
He: I'm really sorry, I don't know what came over me the other day, I couldn't hold back or control myself. You are very sexy
Me: Please don't say such to me again
He: I'm very sorry, can you drop by at my office today so we can talk about your project?
Me: No, don't worry
He: Look, do you want me to promise I wont make any advances
Me: ....Yyyyes
He: i promise

So, very foolishly, I went with my project to his office and I was ushered in though people were waiting to see him. I felt slightly important. We greeted and he tried to hug me but I dodged it. He offered me some snacks and drinks and excused himself to pick a call. Alas, the bastard returned naked and I screamed
He: (begging) Please, just a blow-job
Me: No, I don't know how to do it
He: You just suck (he grabs me, strokes his big penis and shrinking, sagging testis)
Me: I cant do it, I've never done it before
He: Okay please let me suck you
Somehow he got my panties off and was sucking me. I guess that was my mistake. I had never been sucked and I didn't know how it felt..it was inexcusable. Before I knew what was happening,he was inside me. I've never told anyone about this and this is just my way of releasing the guilt. I wasn't an unwilling participant but I didn't protest and somehow, I enjoyed it. It was the first time I experienced a climax. He was the second man I slept with in my life.
I cried on my way home because I was so disgusted at myself and totally ashamed of myself.

His call came again,and as if on a blindfold, I went to meet him on a couple more times and committed the dastardly act. I guess he knew more about pleasuring a woman as he was so old and adulterous. I was in church one day and when people spoke to me, I felt like I had the words WHORE!!! ADULTERESS!!! stamped on my forehead. Infact when a minister stopped me to speak with me, I felt like he could see right through me. As a result, I fled from church, my guilt had encompassed me and separated me from my first love. Everyone in church was concerned about me but I couldn't face them.

Eventually, I forgave myself and returned to the house of GOD.I can blame OO and call him all sorts of names but I'm the bigger culprit because I let go of my principles and self respect. I hope GOD forgives me and that his wife forgives me too, it was hard enough to forgive myself.

I ran into OO again at the airport when I was returning to the States. He had this monkey grin as he grabbed my hand in full view of everyone, my fiancee and siblings included. I snatched my hand and gave him an evil eye. He asked me how I was faring and I don't even remember replying. A friend came up to me and went 'Did that just happen? Did I see or imagine OO grab your hand and you snatched your hand and gave him the look?' In reply, I gave her the look as well and said 'Don't even go there'

On a final note,I know many people would condemn me and I wont blame you all. The reason I put this on is because I read somebody's blog and she was being condemned for having a baby for a married man. I condemned her as well and then I remembered the filth in my past. I understood I had no right to judge her because sin is sin. The fact that she had a child did not mean hers was a greater sin. You see, like me, she had moved on but the world would not have that and would rather stone her to death. The guy was even Muslim meaning he could have married her but I guess she realised what she was doing and decided to stop rocking someone else's boat. The thing is, I know what I did was sinful, inexcusable filth and I suffered for it and sank in guilt for so long but I stopped, forgave myself, repented and had GOD forgiving me. Remember the story about the prostitute(I'm not one(lol)). She would have been stoned by people who were even more unclean if not for the intervention of JESUS.
.

Once bitten, Twice Shy? You wish.....Later

Whew!!!

2007-03-31T23:50:00.000+01:00

Jeez!!!! i've had a most tasking 48hours.
This blogging sure is a lot of hardwork, i hope i can cope.
In case anyone is curious about my reasons for moaning, i'll tell yah.
I've been battling to sign into this blog for two days, my password and/or username was declared incorrect.
If I wasnt married, I would have suspected my mum was up to some prank.
It's a miracle that I've signed in now cos I really exhausted all my resources and I'm not sure I can remember which ones worked....whew!!!!

Escapade.......My Darkest Secrets

2007-03-29T02:48:00.000+01:00

I'm happily married now and basically, my husband keeps asking me about my past.
I dint have a very colourful past cos I was a good girl for a very long time. Infact,I lost my virginity when I was over 25years and I married d culprit that did the act.
The heart of a woman is so dark!! Dark secrets, of the darkest kind. Here's my confession:

I dated my husband for over 5years before we got married. When we met, he was a struggling lad who basically had nothing and he wont leave me alone to get bigger fish like all my friends. I desperately tried to chase him away but he wont have it. Anyway, while at a social function one day, I met a Nigerian celebrity who promised me greener pastures with respect to some projects I had on ground. He was old enough to be my father and he deceived me into thinking he would launch me into the media. Basically, all he wanted was to have sex with me, dumb me but I was so intrigued by him that I probably wasn't thinking straight. He gave me an appointment to see him at his office to discuss plans but I was so confused that I didn't go. He called me severally and pestered me to come over as he was very impressed by me and wanted to encourage me while I was still so young and vibrant. I shyly made my way to his office one day and I was brisked through security/reception. He asked me to sit down in an inner office as he was in a meeting with some other men. Someone brought me a drink which I sipped quietly.

After the meeting, he was all apologies for keeping me waiting. I was deeply honoured and I shyly assured him I was okay. We had a brief discussion about my project and then..
He: You don't need to bother yourself with all of this projects you know
Me: ?? I don't understand
He: In the media, what you need is a god-father and the sky is your limit. See, I'll help you but you have to be able to assure me you are not one of those girls that will mess up at functions when they meet our celebrated politicians etc
Me: Oh, I'm not like that at all
He: Let me be honest with you (pause, he's looking at me and smiling cute)
Me: (feeling really uncomfy and shifting in my seat)
He: Do you know why I came over to introduce myself to you the other day?
Me: Yes, my project
He: (smiles) You are wrong.I was watching you and couldn't keep my eyes off you. You see,I loooooove your breasts(He grabbed my boobs suddenlyand squeezed, I squealed and jumped in shock)
Me: (stammering and pushing at his hands) Excuse me Sir, Please I..I..I don't like it

Before I knew what was happening, he had skillfully maneuvered me into a lying position and I tried hard but I couldn't push him off, so I resorted to pleading with him, praying nobody would find me in such a humiliating position. I, who would condemn anyone I found like that without listening.

I know I should have gotten up, slapped him and walked out but I was pleading with him instead. Every time I remember this encounter, I am always so upset with myself and I feel I deserve a slap but then, I cant turn back the hands of time. If I could, I would do things differently, I would unleash the lion in me and absolutely disgrace him,if only.

During this time, he had somehow become stark naked but luck was on my side as I had a pair of tight jeans on and he couldn't get my hands off the zipper.

He(repeatedly) Why are you behaving like a baby
Me: Please sir, I cant
He: Are you a virgin?
Me: No
He: (soothingly while clasping my hands) Reeeeelax
Me: Ahh, Please Sir Stop it. I don't like what you are doing sir. Do you want to rape me?
He: Oh, is that the story you want to sell to the papers?I'm not raping you

He stiffens, like he has come to his sense. He dresses up and I dash for the door but he reminds me to do my hair and adjust my top which I did obediently...What a fool I was. When I tried to open the door, it had been locked. He counted me some money for a cab and unlocked the door. I bolted out on shaky feet and hailed a cab to take me home. I felt so defiled that I scrubbed myself so hard and praised GOD for saving me.

To be continued

I'm Posting..Am I?

2007-03-29T01:25:00.000+01:00

Wow
Am I blogging or what?Am I excited? Yeah,,cool!!
I keep a diary each year and I have so gotten into trouble too many times with nosey people that wont mind their business and respect my 'PRIVACY!!!!' I'm older now and wiser. I'll start with 3 Diary Violation Stories.

My mum discovered my first diary(Jikol) when I was nine years old. She read it and confronted me in tears(gasp). You see I had called her all sorts of awful names, I didn't spare anyone, dad, sisters and brothers. That night i thought i had found my death, she beat 'the living daylight' out of me and made me kneel till my dad got home. She tearfully read out what I had written about her and the ugly names I had called my family while my dad ate. By now, I'm drowning in self-pity and thinking I must be Cinderella and my carriage would come soon to whisk me away(...dream on). My dad was shocked because I was a timid child, d geek who could barely talk. He insisted I didn't write those things but trust mum to clear his head. My dad grilled me till late at night trying to find out where I learnt those vulgar words. Of course I kept mum and wont talk. He finally handed me my diary and sent me to bed. My mum couldn't resist pinching my ear and giving me a hard push as she grumbled along behind me. I had no peace in that house for a long time and I was d prodigal child that my mum could not tolerate for a longer time....Oh Well. I learnt my lesson....To avoid calling people names, bad names and to write in codes. Therefore till date, I'm not an abusive person and it hurts so much cos when people hurl the worst insults at me I can only say. 'Shut up,,,I know your type' and people find this statement so annoying...'What do u mean u know my type? U better know yourself first!!!!!!' - Whatever....

Diary Xozew...You see, all my diaries had names; names I randomly formed out of my head. Another unforgettable experience was after high school, my friends and I wanted to go out to parties and my mum won't allow(that woman!). Anyways, I decided to go and holiday with my cousins whose mum was always away passionately chasing money unlike my 'housewife Mother'. Did we have fun? We learnt to dance, talk to boys and hang out all night. We had a helluva lot of fun, trust me and I recorded everything in detail my diary(Xozew) in my secret code. Unknown to me, during the time I was away from home,my mum and a cousin had cracked my code and had a lot of fun violating my privacy. My biggest achievement(lol) during this time was meeting Larry who completely rocked my world and I fell in love. He was left-handed, much older and a smoker. I thought he was the coolest living thing in the world.I begged him to teach me how to smoke and I allowed him hold me...(just my hands oh). Everyone knew us and predicted we'll get married someday(sadly, no). Oh gosh, I'm grinning like an idiot!! Anyways, I returned home with Xozew filled wit my code language and was I shocked when Mama confronted me with Operation Larry...I wanted to run away but I managed to choke out something about my privacy which made my mum laugh so hard. My punishment? I was my mum's handbag till I left for Uni. She made me accompany her everywhere and reported me to all and sundry
Lesson Learnt: I formed a new code and stopped filling my diary till I left home(sigh)

Last Encounter was with Diary Siqay and this was in university. You see, I suspected a friend of being promiscuous. She was sleeping with a married man for reasons known to her and I found out and of course recorded my findings. I was really cross with her (I was a chaste virgin) and I condemned her so much in Siqay but I never confronted her. I just asked her questions like 'So where are u going?', 'Are u sure that's where you are going?' etc. Some busybody found my diary under my mattress, read it and even took it away to make copies and sold the story to the school gossip mills. Of course I'm not friends with Miss Promiscuity but it was a terrible act of betrayal on my part, methinks.
Lesson Learnt: If you cant correct a wrong, u r a coward and should not condemn d person cos silence means consent.

So, this blog: Copido is my diary henceforth. I am now married so no Operations Larry here