3 years on

Almost 3years since saying I do.
Still married; mostly happy.
Still waiting to experience that feeling of being pregnant.
So far, after several emotional traumas, we have discovered we were exploited by ,Nigerian doctors.
They said hubby had low sperm count.mmmmh.
Well it turned out he has undescended testicles and does not produce semen.
Our only option of becoming parents is to consider a sperm donor.
So many thoughts flying through my head.
I thought of suing but the publicity would be too traumatic for hubby.
We have decided to go for a donor.
The thought of never knowing the father of my children is one that is too hard to bear!!!!!!!!
Would I keep it- As a secret forever?
Would they forgive me for buying them from a sperm bank?
Can I bring myself to commit adultery so I can give my children a name if they ever wanna know their father?
Gosh, my heart is breaking!