Saturday, 16 January 2010

3 years on

Almost 3years since saying I do.
Still married; mostly happy.
Still waiting to experience that feeling of being pregnant.
So far, after several emotional traumas, we have discovered we were exploited by ,Nigerian doctors.
They said hubby had low sperm count.mmmmh.
Well it turned out he has undescended testicles and does not produce semen.
Our only option of becoming parents is to consider a sperm donor.
So many thoughts flying through my head.
I thought of suing but the publicity would be too traumatic for hubby.
We have decided to go for a donor.
The thought of never knowing the father of my children is one that is too hard to bear!!!!!!!!
Would I keep it- As a secret forever?
Would they forgive me for buying them from a sperm bank?
Can I bring myself to commit adultery so I can give my children a name if they ever wanna know their father?
Gosh, my heart is breaking!

27 comments:

By Grace said...

I'm so glad you updated! Been stalking here like crazy!
Wow...so sorry to hear this, did you go abroad for more tests?
I'm so sorry to hear this..and i wish i could hug you right now...
I know what you're going through, I've been through IVFs here in Nigeria also..and still not physically pregnant. I belive there's nothing our father God cannot resolve for us.
On the other hand, even if you have kids through a donor, your husband is still their father, fatherhood is beyond someone donating the sperm, it's doing those things that a father does that make a man a father...
I will pray for you, pls be strong for you and your hubby.
No matter how tough it is, there's always light at the end of the tunnel.
The devil will bring thoughts to you, taunt you with depression but you have to rise up to the occasion and tell him to leave you alone and bask in the joy of the Lord.
Laugh in his face...you're strong and you can hold on..
Pls,pls, pls can you email me here (journeybygrace@gmail.com)? Would have emailed you but there doesn't seem to be an email addy on your profile.
Congrats on almost three years of marriage, mine was three years recently!

By Grace said...

Have you ever heard of TESE though?

Good Naija Girl said...

I am sending you love. Know that someone out there is thinking about you.

I know that coming to a decision about what to do in this situation is not so easy. I pray that you and your husband will be drawn even closer and be able to fully share your hopes and fears with each another.

I know there are so many things to consider and I don't know you well enough to make any suggestions but perhaps adoption is an idea that could be considered too. Please don't be insulted by my presumptuousness.

Take care of yourself.

Tyger said...

you are backkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!!!!

i checked your blog every week... in the hope that you would come back .... i even prayed that you would come back and you did! i know i sound like a stalker but you have no idea how totally tickled i am to have you back! welcome back

to the post

its a dicey issue... what if hubby comes in 10 years time or 20 years time and says what the heck! they aint my kids... think and pray...

i'm watching this space!

Tyger said...

im back again!

i have been thinking....

and seriously i think you should go for adoption - that way the child is for both of you equally... neither of your genes, just yours both... cos if you use a sperm donor then the child is 50% your genes, none of hubby's... not totally fair and human beings in our darkest moments we can get very petty... so i'm being petty for both of you now... just my thoughts!

joicee said...

It is well with you Copido...Don´t give up.

Hang in there ..I don´t know you or your husband but from your posts, the way you write about the love between you and your husband, Im convinced that whatever decision you two make, will be fine...sperm donor or adoption

Take good care of yourself

Sorry to hear about the exploitation and Congrats on your 3 year anniversary

lamikayty said...

Good to see you back and well! Stumbled across your blog late last year and my thoughts have been with you.
Once you both agree what the decision is...go for it!!
Thank you for updating!

The experiences of an achiever....... said...

Copido, there is more to fatherhood than being a sperm donor...your children should eventually know. That there are from a donor does not make them less loved or less yours. Adultery is a NO NO!! Doesn't God say to flee from all appearances of evil and know this - in all of this he has said " I have loved you with an evelasting love" Jer 31 v 3. Even though it might not seem like it right now he does, be strong.

The experiences of an achiever....... said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
doll said...

i pray God will give you the strenghth to make the right decision

香水 said...

Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.............................................

Calabar Gal said...

Hi Copido,

Been checking up on you.... Miracles do happen. It is well. Hang on in there. Cheers.

AJ said...

I have been stalking your blog, congrats on your 3 year anniversary - many more in Jesus name!
Donating sperm does not a father make, the man who raises the child(ren) up is the father.
Sending you positive thoughts and it is well in every area of your life in Jesus name.

Jaycee said...

I agree with the rest that there is more to fatherhood than the actual physical sperm contribution, but I understand that this is one of the toughest decisions you will ever make.

My prayer right now is that you will ultimately make the right decision. *cyber-hugs*

脣形 said...

I love readding, and thanks for your artical. ........................................

v佳馥虹玲 said...

good~ keep sharing with us, please....I will waiting your up date everyday!! Have a nice day........................................

JeremiahRenne332 said...

Judge not of men and things at first sight...................................................

Pink Satin said...

Its been so long since i visited your page!I thing you should consider adoption in instead.I think its less messy in the future.Have you been to doctors outside Nigeria.I am praying that the lord will guide you.Our God is a God of miracles

韋于倫成 said...

Say not all that you know, believe not all that you hear...................................................

兆以 said...

hello~nice artile..................................................

于倫 said...

All good things come to an end...................................................................

江桂宸江桂宸 said...

Give a fool enough rope and he will hang himself...................................................

a云c2v吳c9f8文sagd1 said...

Knowledge is a treasure, but practice is the key to it.................................................

又瑞許又瑞許又瑞許 said...

It is easier to get than to keep it.......................................................................

佳呈均慧 said...

Dexterity comes by experience.............................................................

Mrs Somebody said...

Hello Copido......keep praying and trying....testimonies abound!!!

Kold_Kadavr_flatliner said...

Not to worry, girl, for we only have this short existence... then! Heaven! which is fo'eva and a day. Nevertheless --- Ever wonder if sex is allowed in Heaven? I don't wish. I know. Love make'n for the length and breadth of eternity? Soft, slow, and smoooth, interspersed with deliciousNnutritious Pi? The big O for days, or weeks, screeem'n, sighing, sobbing... is definitely allowed. God would NOT create the glory of Heaven without joy. No, you don't gotta with me, you don't gotta with anyone, only an option for those who wanna make love a part of their eternity; yet, just imagine: twenty-one? a hundred? ten thousand one? handsome, tall, gentle, muscular guys + you alone + seventeen years + nude swimming in the shallow ocean + flying + nude floating + erotic, bedtime stories at dusk + whatever your precious and precocious heart comes-up with ... Owch. But, yet, ya must git-up thar first; must be humble enough to see the need for repentance in this finite existence (I go every month). Why not? Why wouldn't Almighty God allow that super-freek'n-dooper, glorious high for a month or seventy-seven-weeks?? See? Heaven ain't as boring or tasteless as you might think, doll; God loves you and God wants to provide the best for you. I want Heaven to be with you, too, to serve you, honor you, love you, nekk witchoo, cherish you for all eternity. For those few who actually achieve the Great Beyond, girly? God sez, 'They had to put-up with total crap on earth? No mo, brudda. Everything's theirs in Heaven'. We cannot stay here: all of U.S. must croak someday. So, decide if this whorizontal, lifelong demise is worth the slowly unraveling, unending joy of Heaven. God Bless You, girl --- Meet me Upstairs. We'll have a blast and a half. Lots of those. +sexponential.blogspot.com+