Saturday, 29 December 2007

Xmas Tradition (Long Post

Aside from all the warmth of Xmas, I also love Xmas cos it's a time to exchange gifts.
Back home with my mum & siblings, each year, each person wrote three things they wanted for Xmas on separate pieces of paper and placed it in a teacup(identical) and then mum gave each person a saucer so you're not sure who has your saucer......
Afterwards, each person picked from two separate saucers.

Gosh! I hope you lot understand my narration.

And there were rules: *A minimum and maximum budget, *You can't pick from the same saucer twice, *You can't pick your name, *You must not let anyone know whose name u picked, *You have to be very detailed about what you want e.g.: 100ml CK Euphoria perfume for ladies, *You give as many clues as to where the item can be bought...*You must keep the folded paper you chose till Xmas.

My mum never got any gifts, just cash, cause she never liked any of our gifts.(lol)
I hated picking my brother's names cos they always wanted something on the dot of the budget: designer wristwatches, camera phones, leather jackets, designer sneakers, X-box and Nintendo games etc!
Xmas was always exciting especially when we were all living with mum.

Gosh, I'm grinning from ear to ear.

Anyways, I suggested to hubby that we could adopt this gift swapping tradition and he agreed but he insisted there should be no budgets and we wrote four items each and picked two.

I picked: Nokia E90 and Apple Macbook Pro. (just over N500,000 in total).
Hubby picked: A complete set of 18ct gold and coral jewellery and a dress (Tiffany Amber) (just over N100,000 in total).

Of course I cried foul play.

Hubby insisted he was more than satisfied with what I picked; you shoulda heard his victory laugh.
Me: Babes, I could have asked for a Jacuzzi or a car or plot of land but I was considerate because this is something we have to enjoy doing.
Hubby: Babes, you can take a lease and pay conveniently over a year and actually enjoy doing it. You can even afford to pay cash down, why are you complaining?!
Me: Okay, let’s do it again. I was obviously being considerate when I wrote my Xmas wishes.......
Hubby: No way!
Me: Okay, I'm not doing this anymore.
Hubby: You are kidding, babes! You are stuck in this one for real!!

I felt much cheated and no matter how much I moaned, I wasn't being heard.
Plus, I came up with the suggestion and I agreed there were no rules and I was stuck.
The money wasn't the issue, but I had been very considerate and hubby was being extremely inconsiderate.
I didn't mention it again, and I decided to buy the gifts and make him sweat it out during our anniversary.
Revenge is Sweet!
After 2days of sulking, hubby said, he had gone to check my gifts and he agreed I had been very considerate, so he said we could pick again.
Of course, I said never mind, I'm fine, blahblah but of course he insisted (lol).
He again said: Babes, no budget, write whatever you want.
Me: Anything at all?
Hubby: Anything.
Me: I really think a N100, 000 maximum on each gift is fair.
Hubby: Stop talking cheap. Write anything you want
I smiled: Anything is anything.
Hubby: Yes. Anything is anything! Deal?
Me: Deal.....
And I smiled and said to meself: I'm gonna teach him a lesson........

I wrote: Brand New Customised BMW X5, Brand New VW Touareg, Brand New Nissan Murano 2007 Model & an Indoor Jacuzzi.

Later in the evening, after dinner, we sat down to pick again.
Hubby: This time it's final. You have to buy whatever you pick.
Me: Of course, no cries of foul play.
Hubby: But of course, we both know we have to be realistic.
Me: I've been very realistic. I don't know about you.
Hubby: Trust me.
Me: And this time around, I won't let you know what I picked and vice-versa.
Hubby: No problem. You pick first.....
So we both picked and unfolded our selections.
I chose: Apple Macbook Pro & Accessories and Sony VGN...... (the one with the razor-thin panel) & Accessories.
Hubby :( laughs) Hahahahahahahh!!! This is unrealistic. We both agreed........
Me: Babes, anything is anything. (I'm trying very hard not to laugh cos I knew he either had 2cars or one car and a jacuzzi)
Hubby: Babes, no, no. This is madness; we have 3cars already, minus our official cars, and now 2more cars?!!!
Me: Yay!!!! I see myself cruising my Murano......Gosh! 2008 is going to be fabulous. One car per day!!!!
Hubby: Heeeheeee(still laughing) So there's still Murano.
Me: Don't tell me you didn't pick it...
Hubby: Babes, hahaha. You are not serious. Stop being ridiculous.
Me: (Kiss) A deal is a deal. It’s sealed. Afterall, you can afford to pay cash down or take a lease..... (Sounds familiar uhmmm?)
Hubby: Babes, this is unrealistic. I am out.
Me: Babes, stop being a sour loser, where's your game spirit?
Hubby: No sweet-talking. I'm not doing it. No way!!! If you want a new car, then at least, lets sell the one you are driving now, there's no way I'm going to buy two more cars....
Me: Babes, what you are saying is that 'I' don't deserve....
Hubby: We agreed on being realistic....
Me: How realistic is having 2 Nokia communicators or 2 more laptops when we already have 2?
Hubby: Babes, those puters are due for a change....
Me: Babes, my car is due for a change. I want to drive a jeep.....
Hubby: Let’s just forget this gift swap thing. It won't work.
Me: Thanx for nothing. I'll buy your laptops and if you don't buy my gifts, I won't forgive you.
Hubby: I don't want any laptop oh! You better not waste your money.
Me: You can always flush it on ebay as an unwanted Xmas present. I am cruising two jeeps this 2008......Halleluyah!

I tormented hubby for a full day with songs of my new cars and I bore his grumbling about my unrealistic Xmas wishes graciously.
After dinner the next day, I confessed that I only wanted to teach him a lesson, he maintained, there was no way he would have honoured the wishes as it was both unrealistic and wasteful.
Me: (feeling quite offended) How can you say that about something I want?
Hubby: Okay, I'm sorry. Let’s not go there.
We agreed that it was very reasonable to set a budget as our anniversary is in January, Valentine February, my birthday in March and hubby's birthday in April (tight uuuhn?)
The budget: maximum of N50,000 per item
On Xmas day, he presented me with a set of jewellery (bought @ 90k because of an over-enthusiastic salesgirl) and a black, floral patterned medium-size dress from Tiffany Amber.
I bought him 3sets of pyjamas and a bath-robe and a leather-strapped CK wristwatch with a silver chain bracelet.
We swapped gifts happily on Xmas day, had an English breakfast (ahem….lunch actually. We were at the Ovation Carol party the night before), we cut our Xmas cake, popped a bottle of Champagne and we went to Sheraton for dinner. We hung out with some of hubby's friends before retiring knackered, for the night.

Xmas Greetings!!!

Hey Peeps!
Compliments of the Season!
Don't you just love December?!!!!
I've not spent Xmas in Nigeria for donkey years but quite honestly, I really enjoyed this Xmas.
We couldn't make our planned holiday travels cos I just started work and we didn't close for the year(lol).
I bought my Xmas tree and decorations during the first week of December.
In my excitement, I 'over-dressed' my poor Xmas tree.
I also ordered 13beautiful '14-inch rich fruit cakes' for neighbours, friends and families.
Those cakes were beautiful and they cost more than my habitual can of chocolate: Heroes, Roses & Celebration.
Hubby and I got 4 LIVE chickens and a LIVE turkey amidst other gifts.
I have an extreme phobia for all LIVE animals, so I won't go into details about the looks of horror on my face each time a bird was delivered, especially when the gift-bearer tried to hand it over to me!!!!
Gosh! I absolutely forgot that people give such gifts.
Anyways, we gave all the birds out as my hubby said he couldn't put a knife to any creature's throat!!!
And I can't pluck the feathers from a dead bird, that smell is so nauseating, it sickens me and that's the reason why I don't eat any bird.
Yupp! I don't eat chicken, turkey, ducks etc. If it's a bird......count me out!!!
Anyways, hubby and I each got a bag of rice, cooking oil, spices etc from work and loads of Xmas cards.

Wednesday, 28 November 2007

Rising Above Victimisation

It's a long story peeps, but I'll do a proper post by weekend.

Sunday, 4 November 2007

New Job.....Mixed Feelings

P.S.
Please forgive me for not sharing this earlier.
You know I don't blog as often as I used to.


Last thanksgiving Sunday, hubby and I went to have some Chinese after a long service.

We were quite exhausted when we got home.

Infact, hubby barely managed to pull off his clothes before falling asleep, but I wanted to clean the freezer so I didnt go to sleep immediately.

After giving the kitchen a thorough cleaning up, I picked my phone to check for messages/missed calls.

There was a text from 'That Company' asking me to come pick my offer letter the following day.

I screamed and scared poor hubby badly.

He joined me in screaming and running from one end of the living room, to the other end of the dining room.

I hugged him tightly and thanked him immensely for being a pillar of support.

I picked my offer letter the next day, and to my surprise, the salary was more than N2m over what I had asked, so my earning power is between N5m - N10m per annum.

I won't tell you how much exactly.

Not bad at all, considering the Nigerian economy/cost of living.

Apparently, there was a salary review some months ago......lucky me!!!

I started 8th October and training has been exciting so far.

Meanwhile, hubby and I already agreed I might return to the UK in December to resume my old job as I have been on unpaid leave since January.

I'm so happy I'm not gonna be separated from my hubby!

Yippee!!!!

So I'm on probation for 6months and I won't qualify for paid maternity leave till after 18months, so technically, I have to hold off getting pregnant till at least my 9th month.

Hubby and I have talked about it and we've decidedwe'll cross 'that bridge' when we get there, but I already know I won't terminate my baby/babies for any job.

I was just thinking this morning that it might actually be better for me to return to the UK as I have worked with that UK company for years and I won't get fired for getting preggers.

But if I return to the UK, I'll be separated from my hubby and it's unhealthy for a marriage of less than a year.

I know we survived a long distance relationship prior to marriage but it's different after marriage, plus it won't help if we're looking @ starting a family immediately!

Lord, why is it taking so long? Why?!

I am having mixed feelings about the job now. *Sigh*

It's hard to celebrate, but I'm sailing through one day at a time.

What do you reckon peeps?

Friday, 2 November 2007

Auntie Who?


See, I was @ the bank last week to get some cash @ the ATM, when I saw this lady(Lets refer to her as Lady) wearing a beautifully-tailored ankara(African print fabric) skirt and blouse with frills and all the works.

The tailor/designer's cuts were sharp and neat and moulded her figure nicely.

I've been paying my tailor N5000 perfabric and he still has to do 2 -5alterations before I am 60% satisfied.

Anyways, I couldn't resist going to queue behind the lady to have a chat with her about her gorgeous attire.

Me: Hello! That's a lovely attire you've got on! It's so nice

Lady:(smiles) Thank you

Me: Hope you wouldn't mind me asking for your tailor's number?

Lady: Awww! Sorry, I lost my phone and I don't know her number by memory.

Me: Such a pity!


Silence


Me: But are you planning on retrieving the same number?

Lady: Yes.

Me: Good. Then can i have your number so I can call you in the next couple of weeks just in case....

Lady: Ok

So we exchanged numbers.


She was going to give me her husband's number so I could keep in touch prior to her retrieving her lost phone but she changed her mind and i don't blame her.

I don't distribute my hubby's numbers either, not even to close friends (thank u Nollywood(lol))
Me: So where's the tailor's shop?

Lady: Oworo/Bariga side.

Me: Huuuuh?! But does she do home service? Cos my tailor usually comes to pick my fabrics from my house
(Sadly, I can't meander around town by myself and there's no Tomtom Navigator in this town or comprehensive road-maps even)

Lady: Yes, but you will pay her transport fare.

Me: That[s not a problem. How much does she charge per fabric?

Lady: from N1000 - N2500, depending on the style/fabric.

Me: heh? (Jeez! I resisted the urge to slap my hands on my head, Papa Ajasco style)

Lady: Like this style, she took N1500 because it's complex.

Me: I will definitely call you

Lady: Excuse me.

I moved back a bit as it was her turn to use the ATM.

When she finished, I waved: Okay, Lady. I'll call you.

I finished my business and made to leave, but Lady was lurking around so I gave her a friendly wave.
Lady: Excuse me

So I walked up to her.

Lady: See, I don't like disrespect and where i come from, respect is mutual. I don't know your age oh, but I have younger ones and two of them are married and even their husbands can't call me by name and I know they are older than you. So if they hear you calling me Lady, they can also start disrespecting me, not to mention that tailor. The woman dares not call me by my first name. I expected you to use your initiative to know that there'll be Aunty before my name. In my culture,....

I was very *pissed*!!!! (Excuse my language). Istruggled to maintain a calm facade though and I had a good look at her.
I look younger than my age and I am soft-spoken, so I am used to people thinking I am a baby.
Me: So would you rather i called you Mrs......

Lady: No, you can call me Aunty.
Me: I won't do that. You don't ask for respect, you earn it. And you've just lost any respect i have for you. In case you don't know, I'm sure we are in the same age-group, give or take a couple of years! Good-day!

I felt like kicking her and pulling her hair off strand by strand but I walked off and got into my car.

Gosh! The directors of the company I workfor (I am still on unpaid leave) in the UK are probably the same age with my parents or older but we're on first name basis.

My younger siblings and cousins refer to me by name and I've never felt like they disrespected me, instead, they say I'm their favorite sister/cousin/aunt because i am not fussy!
I think those that hide such actions behind 'culture' are just people looking for an excuse to remain stagnant.

Hiss.
Who needs her cheap tailor anyway? (I know I do and that makes me more furious)

This woman is not my aunty and I don't want to refer to her as aunty!!!
Mind you, I'm not being pompous or silly. I am just being me!
I know someone's probably wondering about my in-laws.
Honestly, I don't refer to them as Uncle/Auntie, instead, I use their titles like Chief, Doctor, Pastor, Deacon etc and for the women, it's Mrs So-so-so and for the other wives, it's So-So-So's Mum etc and for those I am clearly older than, I refer to them by their first names!
Meanwhile, I let them know I prefer to be called by my first name cause my name is beautiful and it's my name! Adding auntie to my name doesnt make you respect me more or does it?
What do you reckon peeps?


Playing in the Rain



Hello peeps!
Wasnt last Saturday just awesome?!
Well, it was for me.
Since I returned from the UK to Lagos, Nigeria, I have been bathing with very warm water, I doubt I've had any cold showers.
Early Saturday morning, I was woken by the sounds of heavy rainfall and when I peeped, it was raining cats and dogs.
Hubby had gone for yet another Bachelor's Eve the night before so I was home alone.
I desperately wanted to play in the rain but not by myself so i waited....

We don't have a gateman because my landlord doesnt like them so we usually leave a padlock outside when someone is out so they can let themselves in when they return.

But the night before, there had been four loud gunshots so i guess my neighbours must have removed the padlock from outside for obvious security reasons.
Anyways, hubby eventually returned and as he couldnt let himself in, he rang me to come open the gate.
I was sooo excited but i moaned about him waking me up so early and that I couldn't come out in the rain.
He said okay, he would wait in the car for a bit.

I quickly donned my night-robe and dashed out without any slippers.
Hubby drove in quickly and expressed concern about my uncovered hair and bare feet but I didn't mind at all.
The cold rain was pelting down all over me and my robe was soaked in an instant!
And, Gosh, it felt soooo good!!!!

Hubby tried to push me in quickly.
Me: Babes, please lets stay and play in the rain a bit. It's been so long since I've done this.
Hubby: (sigh) Babes, I am soo tired
Me: Pleeeease
Hubby: Ooooooooooh!!!!! I want to sleep!
Me: Pleeeeease
Hubby: Okay but you must promise me you won't start screaming especially when u get excited.
Me: I promise!

Hubby stripped to his boxers while I took off my robe, I was wearing a thin strapped cotton camisole with matching knickers underneath.
We dashed into the cold rain excitedly and ran round to the back of the house.
I found a spot where the rain-water was gushing down from the roof and stood there with my eyes closed, my head tilted backwards and my arms spread wide apart.
The ice-cold water flowed on my head and down my body.
Hubby pushed me away excitedly and stood in my place.
I almost screamed then but I managed to jump up and down in excitement!!!!
We took turns at going under the water, it was like our own waterfall(hehehehe)
My teeth started chattering and hubby suggested we returned into the house but I begged for 10more minutes, then 5more minutes etc
Eventually, he started pulling me towards the door while I struggled to pull us both back to our waterfall.

Of course, hubby won't pull/push too hard so I kept winning over and over again until the rain subsided.
We tip-toed back to the front door and returned to the comfort of our home.
Hubby grabbed a towel and dried my body and my hair, I felt so pampered.
Then he dried himself and pushed me gently on the bed.
And we made sweet, sweet love.
Peeps, we didn't wake up till 3pm.
Hubby had a total of 61missed calls on his 3phones. I had 17missed calls but who cares?
I am so happy I'm married to my hubby.....and he doesnt mind bathing in ice cold showers.


So who enjoys playing in the rain?
I fell in love with the picture of those Liberian children playing in the rain and I remember how i never cared for a raincoat when I was young/shall i say younger (Ye know I'm not so old!)
I was so like them, though luckier....much luckier!
I wanna be a child again....

Wednesday, 3 October 2007

The Family Altar

Our neighbour came to visit during the weekend.

He’s a Pastor, and so is our landlord.

Aren’t we soooo blessed?!!

Anyways, he came to have a chat with hubby while I was watching Lerato’s eviction from the Big Brother Africa show!

They had been chatting for a while when he politely asked me to switch off the TV as I was distracting my hubby and he wanted me to be part of the conversation.

A part of me wanted to soooo rebel, but I complied frowningly.

He encouraged us to have a family altar.

A family altar is a fixed place where we would always meet as a family at a fixed time to share GOD’s word, sing praises and pray for at least 30minutes daily.

He advised that it’s like keeping a daily date/appointment with GOD.

He also said that his family follows this religiously and many times when he’s had a fallout with his wife, it’s usually resolved at the family altar, because they ‘HAVE’ to meet there and ‘TALK’ and often times, one of them would raise a prayer point about: GOD help my wife/husband to understand so and so and so and then they would discuss the issue and listen to each other’s viewpoints and resolve it.

Sweet. Sweet. Sweet.


Hubby and I pray every morning and night but it’s usually in bed.

He advised us to stay away from the bed as the bed is ‘a comfort zone’ and we may drift away in sleep; true, true, hubby’s a culprit, okay me too.

So I’ve proposed that we use the dining area/lobby but we are yet to agree on a time.

So everyone, please have a altar in your homes!!!

Sadly, we didn’t make it for dinner last night (Independence Day).

At about 6.30pm, there was a loud bang on my kitchen door.

It was my neighbour’s 7year old son.

He had been home alone since 2o’clock and his mum had instructed him to come and stay with me if NEPA struck.

So, there I was, dressed up for dinner and waiting for hubby and now saddled with an unexpected babysitting job!

Sigh! Don’t people know you don’t leave children alone at home and unattended?!!!

I called hubby to let him know and we hoped they would return soon, but it was wishful thinking.

They returned @ about 10pm, thereby ruining our night and I got so mad @ hubby and blamed him for prioritizing his job over me because if he hadn’t gone to the office, I wouldn’t have been at home and I wont have been saddled with babysitting.

I had even told him I would meet him in VI but he said he didn’t want us driving around in separate cars.

Anyways, @ about half 9, I told hubby to go get us some take-away so we would celebrate @ home.

Hubby left and called like 10minutes later saying, he really didn’t want to go out without me and we could cook something to eat for the night. Whatever!

Our neighbours didn’t apologise for saddling us with their child, obviously they didn’t know that we had plans.

Anyways, I had a mug of milk and a glass of water and I went to bed, quietly and ‘VERY ANGRY”!!

This morning, while we were praying, hubby said: GOD please help Copido to stop getting angry……and we both started laughing.

This family altar is already working.

Anways, we can do dinner next week.

Smiles

Monday, 1 October 2007

Happy Independence Day!!!


Hey everyone!
It's been quite a while!!!!
Happy October 1st to you all!!!
Hubby and I joined our church in a 2hour 'Prophetic March', singing and dancing while being filmed by a local TV station, I didn't get the name, but I know it would be aired 3times today from 11am.
I've had 2aspirins so far and my toes are covered in blisters, but it was fun.
As usual, our church paparazzi(photographers) were present and they kept trying to take pictures of me and hubby, much to my annoyance and despite the fact that I kept hiding my face behind my Nigerian flag!!!
I also met a friend who was my room-mate during my 1st year in Uni and did we reminisce!!
She's travelling back on Wednesday so we're hooking up tomorrow!
I also saw my sister's former secondary-school classmate.
Gosh! It's such a small world!
There's loads of juicy gists (lol)!....but not for today
Hubby and I are going for dinner @ Sheraton in a couple of hours, a monthly routine anyways........
Bless you all!
Long Live Nigeria!!!



Tuesday, 11 September 2007

911

It's hard to believe it's been 6years.
I remember that day vividly.
I was in my mother's flat and I just had a shower.
I was planning to go somewhere later in the day, maybe church.
So I switched on the TV to while away some time and I saw a plane crashing into the twin towers.
I actually thought it was a film preview and I laughed and thought:
'These Americans and their silly and evil imaginations!'
I picked up the remote and switched channels: same thing, CNN Breaking News.
I made a mental note to help adjust mum's TV settings and skip some channels.
After switching channels four times or so, it finally dawned on me that I wasn't watching the preview of a film, it was real!!!
I watched, transfixed, as a second plane crashed into the towers, as a state of emergency was declared, as an order to evacuate the city was given, I watched as the twin towers crumbled and vaguely heard news of other plane crashes and watched as the Breaking News strip changed to: America is under attack!!! I watched as men and women ran and cried and I watched as firemen ran for their lives in the chaos. I watched as families gripped the pictures of loved ones that were assumed missing. I watched for two/three days and I cried at the wickedness of men!!
I couldn't stop crying and I remember having sore eyes and a terrible headache for nights.
Terrorism is evil!!
Violence is never a good option, there's always another way!

Back to My Source.....


Hello All,
I sure hope someone missed me (smiles).
I needed time off....but I'm back.
And I returned to 'My Source' on the 25th August...
In simpler words, I cried and ran to the church altar after a short message on 'Returning to Your Source'
It was a very touching sermon and it opened my eyes to see that I've drawn away from GOD in a lot of ways.
Infact, I was almost at that stage where I was thinking I could do it all on my own - but now I know I can't....
So I've been spending time studying my Bible and fellowshipping with others and staying away from distractions like blogging..hehehehehehe.
I also joined the 'Married Women's Fellowship and had a chat about 'Sex Appeal'.
Life's been bubbly and me and hubby are still in love!!! (...jealous anyone??)
On a final note, I wont be blogging as often because I don't wanna lose my focus on My Source.
Signing off: JESUS loves me.....and you and you and you and you!


XxxxXxxxX

Thursday, 23 August 2007

The Conclusion

I feel like I have been on Jerry Springer(lol)
Anyways, hubby was strictly ordered not to discuss anything with me but he's been saying my mum is lovely and impartial...
Mrs To has cashed her cheque.
She's still living with her hubby, so they've resolved their issues.
I was ordered to apologise to Uncle To, which I did, for the sake of peace.
Mrs To was advised to stop 'broadcasting' intimate issues and she also apologised to her hubby.
Uncle To was advised to stop neglecting his wife.
Hubby told me that Uncle To shoud be on Jerry Springer.
The reason he stopped sleeping with his wife is because his wife found sexual intercourse painful....(Hubby was ordered not to tell, pls dont tell anyone oh)
So because Mrs To found intercourse painful, it was always a long battle to penetrate and she was always crying and he was always exhausted after the do.
He got fed up and annoyed and...blablabla (hehehehehe)
He swore he hadn't been sleeping around (indeed)
Mum advised him about foreplay (hehehehe) and that you cant just hump a woman like that especially if you are big below. She further advised to use Vaseline for lubrication.(hehehe)
Hubby said it was hard to keep a straight-face in there and he caught my Mum's sister laughing and trying to cover up by coughing several times.
Anyways, I reckon I shouldn't have interfered and right now, I'm not gonna be interfering in anyone's business.
I reckon it wont have been so messy if I had asked for Uncle To's side of the story AND if I was too hasty in judgement.
Men, if it wasn't resolved, I woulda been tagged 'Copido: The Marriage-Wrecker'
I flinch and shudder at the thought,,,,
I was only trying to be 'Copido The Good Samaritan'




Now to happier stories, hubby is back and two job interviews.......



The Saga Continues.....


Hubby agreed it was best for the gal to move on with her life.

I wasn't too surprised when my mum called me very late on Sunday night but I was surprised by what she said.

Mum: Copido, what happened today?
Me: With...regards....to...?
Mum: (hiss) I said what happened between you and To's wife?!!!
I did a quick summary.
Mum: And what did you advise her to do?
I repeated what I had told Uncle To's wife.

Mum:Why couldn't you call me first?
Silence
Mum:Can you please answer me? Why are you interfering in other people's lives?!
Silence
Mum:Hello?
Me: Hello Mum.
Mum:My father just called me and he said To said you have wrecked his marriage and advised his wife to leave him..... and you even gave her money to go on with her life. Copido!!!!

Crikey! Damn!!

She gave me a long and thorough lecture about interfering in other people's affairs, about threading carefully and diplomatically in family matters, about steering away from family because they can cause 'kata-kata' and about her 'extended polygamous back-ground'.

Mum was ranting for a full 94minutes before she exhausted the minutes on her calling card and then she said she was going to call back so hubby and I switched off all our phones.

Hubby: You shouldn't have interfered babes.
Me: Huh?! That's not what you said initially, babes.
Hubby: (laughing) It's just an afterthought.
Me: Damn! What shoud I do?
Hubby:Lets call Uncle To's wife

So I disconnected our internet line and rang the lady

Me: Hello. This is Copido.
Mrs To: Hello! Hello! Hello! I cant hear anything oh. Hello? Hello?
So I rang back, but the operator said the number was not available and advised to try again later.
I must have redialed that number like a hundred times, so i conc
luded that she had switched her phone off.
I was soooo confused.
So hubby decided to call her husband.
He was on speaker-phone.

Hubby: Goodevening sir. This is OO, Copido's husband
Uncle To: (yelling) OO, has your wife told you what she's done? She wants to wreck my home eh? She wants to wreck my home, abi!
Hubby: I am very sorry about this. Infact I dont know what to say...
Uncle To: (crying) What have I done to Copido to deserve this. Please warn her oh. If it wasn't for the respect I have for you....mmmhhh, I woulda dealt with her.
Hubby: Please take it easy. We are very sorry. It's just a misunderstanding, mayb
e your wife misinterpreted what she said.
Hubby: But Copido called me too and started accusing me of all sorts. Blablablablabla
So hubby begged and pleaded on my behalf and Uncle To said 'it was okay'

He lied.

First thing Monday morning, I called my account officer to stop the N75k cheque and I texted Uncle To's wife to advise her the cheque had been stopped for now.

My grand-father called me later that morning to invite me to a family meeting that evening.

Damn! I was only trying to help, men!!

So I called hubby and he said he would tag along as a witness and tried to cheer me on.

Go Copi! Go Baby! Go Copi! Go Baby!

I texted Mum to update her and she didn't reply till evening.

She asked me to be calm and to send her a missed call as soon as I got there.

She wanted me to put her on speaker phone and my mum is a tigress.

*Sigh*

In attendance were me, hubby, Grampa, Grampa's wife, Uncle To, Uncle To's wife, Uncle To's elder brother, Uncle To's mum, My mum (on speaker phone) and My mum's sister.
Hubby and I greeted everyone generally, Uncle To ignored me.

Uncle To's wife was told to narrate what happened and she was totally honest.
However, she had decided to get home first to make her husband's dinner before proceeding to her mother-in-law's and while she was cooking, uncle To got home, found her bag on the bed, went thru it and found my cheque.
He confronted her and she said she was going back to school and moving on with her life
and I had given her the cheque to help.
So he concluded that she was leaving him and he called Grampa, his mother-in-law and his mum.
His mum called Grampa with her own version and Grampa called Mum's sister and Mum(Do you get it?)

I confirmed what she said was true and the 'elders' asked her why she hadn't discussed this issue with her husband first.
She said she had done so several times and that she was ashamed to discuss it with anyone because it was so embarrassing.
They insisted she should have confided in her in-laws: her hubby's siblings or mum and that she had no business involving me.
They were beginning to lay the blame on the poor gal when mum spoke up: Ex
cuse me!!!!! Why are you blaming this gal, when you should be asking To why he's not performing his manly duties. If a man's house is in order...........

Uncle To: Copido, please can you excuse us?
The 'elders' agreed Uncle To's wife and I should leave and that hubby could stay....




Wednesday, 22 August 2007

Reatives that Suck II

So I called my uncle.

Me: Hello Uncle To

Uncle:
Ha! Copido, how are you baby?

Me:
(crying) Uncle To, why now?

Uncle:
(alarmed) Copido, what's wrong. Are you okay? Is your mum okay and your bros and sis and your husband nko? Copido answer me what's wrong?

Me:
Uncle To, it's you. It's you and what you are doing.

Uncle:
Okay firstly, I'm sorry for whatever I've done wrong. Now can you tell me what I've done that's making you cry like this.

Me:
It's the way you are treating your wife

Silence

Uncle:
(a hint of anger) What do you mean?

Me:
Has she offended you? Why aren't you sleeping with her?

Uncle:
What did you just say?

Me:
I just found out you haven't touched your wife in two years.

Uncle:
Copido, you are mad. Am I your mate? How dare you talk to me like that? Who told you this rubbish? What's your business, sef? What is your business?

Me:
There's no need to insult me. If you don't want her as your wife anymore, why cant you let her go so she can start her life again. Uncle To, remember you reap what you sow. What goes around comes around. I've done my part......

Uncle:
Ah Ah. Abi I'm dreaming ke? How dare you Copido! How dare you!

Me:
(still crying) What you are doing is not good and I wont condone it.

Uncle:
Hissed and hung up


Since he didn't deny it, I concluded he was guilty as charged so I returned to the lobby and I asked his wife if he had ever been violent towards her or shown any tendency for violence.

She said he had never laid a hand on her so I told her what i had done and I asked if she wanted to listen to my advice.

She urged me to go on.

I advised her that it wasn't too late to start her life again.

She could go back to school or learn a trade and be less of a liability to others.

I advised her to discuss this issue with her mother-in-law because mothers have a way of sorting these things out.

And if he says he doesn't want her as his wife anymore, I advised her to move on with her life.

She started crying again and she said she couldnt go back to her parents because they hadnt forgiven her for getting pregnant so basically, she didn't have anywhere to go.....(sigh)

I told her to contact family members that can help beg her parents to take her back, that there is no way they(at east her mum) would turn her to the streets.

She said she wanted to learn bead-making and dress-making but she couldn't afford to pay for the courses.

So I wrote her a cheque for N75000, N50k for the courses and N25k for herself.

She said she was going to pass the night at her mum-in-law's place and she sent a text to her hubby in my presence.


What do you reckon?

Sunday, 19 August 2007

Relatives that Suck!!!

Just a quick post peeps.
Hubby's hosting a couple of friends in the living area.
My uncle's wife's sitting across from me in our small lobby area.
Her husband is my mum's younger half-brother.
She's crying quietly and inconsolably and wiping her eyes with her wrapper.
My eyes are red and sore too from crying....
Here's why...

They've been married four years.
She took in before they got married.
Sadly, she had a stillbirth and hasn't conceived since then.
And she's only twenty-two years old
My bastard uncle, has stopped sleeping with her for two years....

She's gone on her knees and begged me to please help talk to her husband.
How can I do this?
Someone tell me he's not sleeping around.
Someone tell me he's not blaming her.
Someone tell me he's not my uncle.....

Call me stupid, but I'm calling him now.
He got this girl pregnant and her family threw her out and she dropped out of school and now this...
I'm gonna talk some sense into his head...
Shoot me if you like....

Friday, 17 August 2007

Do Not Disturb.......SssssshhhH


Ssssshhhh!
Do not disturb!
Honeymoon in Progress!


Princesa, be warned(lol)

Wednesday, 8 August 2007

Gosh! I'm Cheating....I'm on Pills

Hubby's been boasting all week about enjoying himself as he's only working half-day now.
He's going to a beach in Cape Town tomorrow.
He's also been working out in the gym and he says he's sooo fit now that the babes can't get their eyes off him.
*Sigh*
Well, I confess haven't been exercising.
I confess haven't been eating right either.
I further confess I've not been keeping away from Beef Suya, Ice-Cream, Pop Corn, Shawarma, Chinese take-aways, Pastries, TFC (Africana), etc.
I confess I've not cooked in more than a week?
I confess I have been eating out mostly with my sister.(sigh)
I confess I bought two exercise DVDs in Johannesburg, and I've only managed 7minutes out of 90minutes,
I confess the will to exercise is sooooo haaaaaard!!
Lastly, I confess I've decided to lose weight by cheating.

I'm sure fitness instructors have to work out for months/years to be able to work 90minutes NONSTOP
Gosh! (sighing)
So, I'm currently living on cereal(bran) , fruits and Holland & Barrett's Apple Cider Vinegar tablets.
Those tablets have worked wonders on my tummy already in less than a week.
I've been taking two tablets, three times daily.
My Iraqi friend swore they worked wonders and forced me to buy it and I honestly have no regrets whatsoever!!!
I bought the 200tablets pack in Victoria, London since last year.
Hubby's gonna be so gobsmacked when he sees me.
Mmmmmh, cheating is so exciting........
What do you reckon?

Tuesday, 7 August 2007

Saffa Gists IV

Sadly, I couldn't make the trip to Gold Reef City the next day as hubby had plans.
He drove us to Sandton City where we had quality time together.
We were holding on to each other most of the time and window-shopping.
I showed hubby the breath-taking jewellery set and he teased me about being vain.
He warned that such things are a pure waste of money and they attract unnecessary attention: like armed robbers(Hubby's theory) lol.
We had lunch and dinner at the square and hubby bought a set of his and hers Citizen wristwatches, we also took a Natural walk tour and appreciated the beauties of nature.
During our walk tour, hubby and I took pictures together with lovely birds and natural garden scenery as backgrounds.
One peacock(peashrew, more like) kept chasing after my hubby and flapping its wings.
It was very comical, though hubby didn't find it funny. He said it was a 'witch-bird'
At some point during the walk tour, I thought hubby was standing beside me and I grabbed a handful of 'his bum' playfully.
Hubby was wearing khaki shorts, but the bum in my hand was covered in a soft fabric and very soft.
I turned and behold, I was pinching the wrong bum, a middle-aged, white guy's bum.
Luckily, he didn't think I was perving cos he laughed when I apologised and said: 'Never mind'
Hubby was almost breaking apart with laughter as he teased me about my public displays of affection, not that he's ever complained.
We had dinner after our tour and drove back to the hotel where we........
Hubby said we'ld go to Capetown during the next weekend but sadly, it didn't happen as I had to come back home.


I drove us to Gold Reef City the next day, while hubby gave directions from a map.
His unmarried colleague tagged along.
We got soooooo lost, sooooo many times but we finally made it there.
It was very, very cold that day but we maximised our time together.
We were like teenagers as we dared each other to go on the scariest rides in the theme park.
As hubby drove us back, his colleague teased us about our fondness for each other.
He said: I go marry oh. I must marry oyibo wifee oh. Ahn! Ahn! Babes this, Babes that, Babes smile, Babes Noooo, Yes Babes, Babes. Babes. Babes. Babes. Babes. Babes. Ah Na wa oooooo.
Laughs.
I hope this feeling of fondness never ends.
I pray hubby and I would be happy forever.
I know it's not impossible...........

In Summary,
I went to Gold Reef City again with Ke and Aa (though I had to pay for some of their rides as punishment for not turning up the last time).
We also met for lunch and went to the cinema to watch "Harry Potter & d..Phoenix" (Long Title, I can't remember it all)
I disgraced myself at the cinema, by sleeping off and 'SNORING!!!!!'
Nobody's ever told me that I snore but, Ke recorded it on his phone and I heard it with my ears.
Damn!!!
I tried to stay awake afterwards, even though I had argued bitterly about the 'Harry Potter' choice of movie.
I don't watch Sci-fi, Horror, Action etc, just Drama and Romance and the occasional Thriller.
We bid farewell to each other with a trip to a souvenir market and a gay nightclub in Joburg.
I met soooooooo many homosexuals.
The 'girly homosexuals' kept saying 'us girrrrls'
Hubby had warned me seriously about any 'Truth or Dare' games.
I wasn't allowed to drink, or dare anyone, or kiss anyone or lose my rings or do anything...(lol).
It was fun though and Ke and Aa promised to visit me in Nigeria in the near future..which I don't believe.
I returned to Nigeria with just one piece of luggage, I wish i went to CapeTown and SunCity though.
But I enjoyed myself immensely even though I didn't do any shopping.
I hope I've covered everything?????
Back to the present.
Hubby's coming back next week....yippee!
& A kel Called Wonder: I haven't been given an appointment letter.
Those people are beginning to piss me off....(lol)

Monday, 6 August 2007

Saffa Gists III

I was feeling quite cold so I walked into a cafe to buy coffeee.....
Voice 1: (loudly) Nooooooo! Noooooooo!
Voice 2: You f**king bitch!
It was a friendly gay couple from my last office.
I'll identify them by the first two letters of their names: Ke and Aa.
Me: Oh Noooo! I can't believe my eyes, I must be dreaming!
Ke: No, you're not you silly cow
Me: Shut up and give me a hug
So we hugged and kissed cheeks: Muah, Muah and sat down for coffee and cappuccino.
Aa was fired from work for going AWOL, so Ke resigned in protest.
Ke's currently working freelance with Sky Broadcasting while Aa's unemployed and on benefits.
They were in Saffa on holiday and staying with another gay couple in Joburg.
I told them I had gotten married and I was in SA with my hubby and we were staying in the company's guesthouse in Johannesburg.
Ke: Did you marry a fit bloke?
Me: Of course
Ke: Do you think he'll f**k me?
Me: Shut up and don't be rude
Ke: Just joking...
Aa: Can we visit and get drunk? This place is fucking expensive and I'm f**king broke.
Me: Aa, you're always broke! You better sort yourself out. Have you guys done any shopping? I've just seen some jewelery and I was almost tempted to spend a fortune.
Ke: Us 'girrrrls' haven't done any shopping and honestly, I can't be bothered with shopping. I just want to have fun, do lots of sight-seeing and have a relaxing holiday.
Aa: Me too. I'll buy a couple of souvenirs though.
Ke: Yeah. Just souvenirs. I shop every f**king day in the UK. I'm not hauling f**king shopping bags around during my f**king holiday.
Me: So what have you been doing?
Aa: We went to SunCity every fu*king day during our first week and got super broke.
Ke: And we've been to.......(Lists off about a dozen or so tourist spots) And then we're off to The Lion Park tomorrow to roar the fuck out of their f**king lions. I'm going to see a real life cheetah for the first time in my f**king life. If I am reincarnated, I've got to be a f**king cheetah.
Aa: I'll have to be a rhino.
Ke: Fucking hell....
Aa:Stop swearing Ke, y'know Coppie's (abbreviates my real name) posh and she hates swearing.
Me: (sigh) So when are you returning to the UK?
Ke: Next weekend.
Me: Do you have to prebook a ticket to see the lions?
Ke: We don't have prebooked tickets. Do u want to hang out with us?
Me: Okay.....


So we made arrangements to meet @ 11am, the next day @ The Square.
I gisted hubby about my day out and arrangements for the next day.
He advised me to be careful with the 'gay bastards'
I assured him they were nice and harmless and we were quite close back in the UK.
The next morning, Mrs VWX asked if I was going anywhere, so I told her I was going to The Lion Park with friends from the UK.
She asked if I was driving but I said I wasn't familiar with the road network and I was going by public transport.
Surprisingly, she said she'll go with me.
Ke and Aa turned up with the other gay couple.
When I introduced Mrs VWX to my gay friends, she was very unfriendly and won't even accept a handshake.
She muttered condescendingly in pidgin: Which kind people be this? You know tell me say na this type people you dey waka with. Abeg, when you dey come back. I no go again, I no fit dey waka with this kind people. I go just look around here and wait for you. (grumbling, grumbling)
So we left her but Ke didn't let it go.
Ke: Fucking bitch! She's so f**king rude!!! That's f**king discrimination....
Me: Hush, hush....

We left for The Lion Park and soon forgot about her.
As we drove through the park, I saw many animals including lions and jackals at very close range and I sat down quietly, tense with fear and praying quietly.
My friends were excited and asking questions and snapping away.
When Ke and Aa entered a 'secure area' where they actually felt and took pictures with baby hyenas, lion cubs and other animals, the Nigerian in me, wasn't that adventurous despite many assurances......
Mmmmmh, I don't want an obituary titled: Eaten by lions and other wild animals.....
Our guide pointed out different animals, some I've never even heard of.
I loved the zebra most.
I used to think girraffes were graceful but up close, they are quite ugly???
Ke squealed like he was having sex when we saw the cheetahs and asked if we could get as close as possible.
He won't shut up even when the guide told him to keep it quiet so as not to startle the animals.


In all, I learnt holidays shouldn't always be about shopping till I drop and that I must ALWAYS research before going sightseeing.
I honestly didn't know we were going to drive through a park filled with wild animals (safari style).
You see, I thought the animals would be caged.
I doubt Mrs VWX woulda enjoyed herself......
She found her way back to the guesthouse and I didn't see her stepping out of that guest house till I left SA.
I arranged to meet Ke and Aa the next day for a trip to 'Gold Reef City'
Hubby laughed so hard when I told him about introducing Mrs VWX(now nicknamed "madam") to my friends

Saturday, 4 August 2007

Saffa Gists II

So I called hubby.

Me: Babes, what do you reckon? I've just splurged on jewelery.

Hubby: (laughs): What have you bought?

Me: Promise you won't be mad....

Hubby (pauses): ........ What do you mean?

Me: I bought this 18carat yellow gold set...

Hubby: Is it for me?

Me: Nooooo

Hubby: So why should I be mad?

Me: It's equivalent to almost $2000

Hubby: What?

Me: It's not $2000, it's almost....

Hubby: I heard you the first time. You don't have that much on you.

Me: I'm using the rest of my ticket money and I have my credit card with me

Hubby: Babes, I'm saying no and I would be very cross with you if you bring that........thing home.

Me: Babes, this is the only thing I want from this trip. I promise I won't buy anything else. And I don't even think I can return it because I know that as a health precaution, most retailers dont accept earrings back.

Hubby: Mmmmmmmh? What's wrong with all the jewelery you have at home plus those big ones your mum gave you and all the beads you have acquired? Copido what's wrong with them? (When my hubby calls me by my name, it's the first sign of anger)

Me: Nothing

Hubby: Copido, if you continue this sort of impulsive buying do you think we can ever own anything of value? We may as well forget about any Christmas holiday

Me: Awwwwww Babes! Just because of $1800

Hubby: I've got to go

Me: I was only joking oh

Hubby (pauses)......You are sick!
Laughs.
So I DID NOT BUY IT OH!!!!

Like Hubby said, what I have is more-than-sufficient.......and I agree....and honestly, I guess I just wanted to splurge unnecessarily on heavy jewelery.
My Mum travels to Milan often to buy gold and she's been very generous to me, she even gave me the three different sets of gold accessories I used during my traditional wedding and reception.
Gosh, am I getting vain or stupid or both?

Sigh.....

What do you reckon?



Tuesday, 31 July 2007

Saffa Gist 1

Where do I start from????
Something came up at hubby's office and four of them had to leave for South Africa on Monday.
He told me he might be gone for 6weeks and advised me to invite someone over to stay with me.
I thought: 6weeks??!! Mmmmmh!
I started racking my brain and wondering if there was anyone I could invite over for 6weeks...

Me: Babes, we haven't even furnished the guest-room.

Hubby: You can get that done in a day or two. How much will you need.

Me: (In my best bedroom voice) Babes, I don't wanna be alone.

Hubby: Sorry, babes.

Me: I can't really think of anyone....

Hubby started suggesting names of some friends and relatives but I've not been in this country for long so I'm not actually that 'close' to many of them and the few I won't have minded having around are married or working.

Hubby: Think about it, there has to be one person that won't freak you out.

So I thought hard and suggested to go with hubby if it meant paying for my ticket.
He said that wasn't an option because it was an official trip, not a holiday.
Then he called a colleague and joked that his wife wanted to accompany him to SA.
And the colleague said Mr VWX was going with his wife and that alternative accommodation arrangements could be made for us if hubby requested.
Yippeeee!!!
So hubby requested for a bigger accommodation for two and told me to start packing and offered to pay for half my ticket.
We were both sooo excited.
Hubby called the airline to book a business class ticket for me as he was flying business class.
Over the weekend, we withdrew as much as we could from our bank accounts using our ATM cards and on Monday, I quietly paid for a seat in economy.
I lied to hubby that there were no more seats in business class except I didnt mind being on 'reserved' so I had opted for economy instead. (I know that was evil)
There were many vacant seats in business class when the plane took off so hubby asked an air-hostess to upgrade me to business class despite my numerous 'i'm fine' protests.
I wasn't ready to pay double money for what I could get at half(hehehehehe) and Mr VWX's wife was also traveling economy anyways so I stood my ground.
Hubby said I had embarrassed him by flying in a economy when we agreed on business class.
So I promised to upgrade my return ticket9fingers crossed at the back)
A driver....oh sorry, I meant chauffeur met us at the airport and whisked us off to our accommodation: a nice chalet in Joburg with swimming pool, tennis courts, about 4 common/sitting areas, 2restaurants and a bar
Our bedroom was homely. Large but not intimidating bed with matching dressing tables and a large double-mirror.
The bathroom was done in cream and sky blue.
I stayed indoors for two days, it was so cold!
On Day 3, hubby made car hire arrangements and suggested I made friends with Mrs VWX as I was complaining of boredom.
The woman kept saying all she wanted to do was 'rest' so I left the chalet on day 3 hoping to locate Sandton City but that didn't happen as I just enjoyed driving round and round till I got bored and returned to the chalet.
On Day 4, I asked someone in the restaurant if she knew how I could get to Sandton Town and she said she only knew how to get to Sandton City(correction) on public transport, so I went to Mrs VWX again and asked if she wanted to go with me.
She didn't sound interested so off I went.
All I wanted to buy was fantastic jewellery.
And I had half of my 'business class ticket fare', my shopping allowance and my offshore bank card.
I eventually arrived at the Nelson Mandela Square and I had to restrict myself from splurging on everything my eyes saw and loved.
I reminded myself, just jewellery, just jewellery, jewellery first, jewellery first.
Many many things I loved but what I loved most was an 18carat choker chain with a built in pendant and matching earrings: $1800.
The only thing in my wardrobe that cost over 1000pounds is my wedding dress, oh and my rings.
Should I?
Should I not?
Should I?
Should I not?

Sunday, 29 July 2007

Sincere Apologies

I am still here.
I had fun in South Africa.
I accompanied hubby on an official trip but I had to return early for a final job interview...Phew!
I had a lot of fun, I even ran into my gay friends from the UK and we had SOME fun!!!
I am doing a long post on that.
My sister's also around from the States and she's staying with me.
Hubby's not back till mid-August and we talk everyday.
Both generators have packed up.
I'm cruising around in my hubby's jeep..lol
Some keys are not working on my laptop so I'm having to copy and paste some letters.
And I also had a fallout with some 'so-called' friends who have been badmouthing me.
But I'm fine and I thank you all for all your comments.
I'm working undercover till my sister leaves.
She really likes our home.
I'll stop here and post a long one during the week.

BTW, I am meeting with that company's HR department tomorrow.......I think I'll be getting my appointment letter.

Saturday, 21 July 2007

I'm Back........!!!

.....................................From South Africa.
Please bear with me while I settle i

Saturday, 7 July 2007

7 Things About Me



i) Reality TV Addict





Thanx to Eastenders, Coronation Street, Nollywood films etc, I detest all soap operas/series.
I hate the fact that they just keep going on and on and never end
and I hate films with Parts 1, 2, 3 etc.
Instead, I'm a Reality TV addict!!!!
I absolutely love reality shows: The Apprentice(Sir Alan's), Shipwrecked, Dragon's Den, Big Brother, Celebrity Big Brother, I'm A Celebrity Get Me Outta Here, X-Factor, American Idol, Laugh out Loud, Strictly Come Dancing, Deal or No Deal, Hell's Kitchen
, Supernanny, Wife Swap, Extreme Makeover, America's Next Top Model, Fear Factor, Joe Millionaire, The Weakest Link, Who Wants To be a Millionaire ....... and no, I don't watch Lost, Spooks, Desperate Housewives etc. No thank you!!!


ii) Toilet FreAK

I hate using any toilet that's not mine and I never leave home without toilet roll.
I’ll tell you why.

Before I use any loo, I wrap my left-hand with tissue to lift the toilet-seat and then I put layers of tissue into the toilet-bowl to prevent spatter and then I squat over the toilet bowl to wee or poo.
When I’m done, I wrap my hand in tissue again to flush the toilet, open the cubicle door and turn the tap to wash my hands.

I always use the last tap in public toilets cos I think it’s rarely used therefore not so 'germful'. (lol)
If there’s a pedal-bin, I dump my tissue in there but if it’s one of the bins u have to push with ur hands, I’m dumping it on the floor...…

iii) Sean Bramingham -Coxwell

He was native American, tall, and lean, with firm muscles in the right place.
He was clean-shaven, had deep-blue eyes that saw into the depth of my soul and his voice was a clear, deep, unique and sexy baritone.
He had long brown hair, that he tied back into a neat ponytail.
He had a mighty big ranch in Texas with the best Arabian horses.

He was called ‘A Mighty Heart’ and he was the head of a native American clan.
He called me ‘Passion Princess’ and he had fallen in love with me at first sight.
He kidnapped me one sunny afternoon and we got married at a big, empty chapel.
He was the perfect gentleman and loved by all his clan.

He bought me lovely dresses and he made me a potion that made my hair grow long and silky. We went to the theatre together, did all our shopping together and we lived happily though we were envied by many.
We had the most beautiful children in America: The twins: Alexander (Alex) and Alexandra (Alexa) Bramingham Coxwell and the triplets: Phillippa (Pippa), Phillip (Philly) and Pearly(Pea) Bramingham-Coxwell.

I fell in love with Sean when I was ten.
I’m smiling like an idiot, because Sean Bramingham-Coxwell was a fantasy man(built out of my imaginations) but he was my imaginary boyfee for years and no peeps, I don't think about him any more......I swear......

*Sigh*
Look what all those years of Mills and Boon, Harlequin
Romance, Silhouette and Historical Romance did to me..

iv) Camera

I looooooooove the camera.
Come on, give it to me, smile, pout, turn around, bend your knee, clutch your bag in front of you, no beside you, tilt your head, give me that sexy look.....lol.
That's me practising my picture perfect pose in front of the mirror before leaving home.
I'm like Paris Hilton with the camera, I mean on the other side of the camera.
Gosh, I'm so vain!!!!
I actually own two digital cameras (prize possessions) and I never miss an opportunity to have my pictures taken. (My victims: Mr P, my neighbour's househelp, hubby and innocent bystanders at parties).

Thank GOD, no Nigerian party is complete without freelance photographers: I'll take portrait shots, half- and full-length shots and side view shots from almost every photographer I lay my eyes on and yes, I always have the perfect pose pre-prepared.
I've been featured a few times in some of those fashion mags and I looked lovely even though I wasn't even aware I was being snapped by paparazzi (lol).
We also have some photographers in church who are always snapping away once they sight me/ hubby and I...and hubby hates it!!! (lol)
Infact,
I have a website that has all my pictures, family, hubby, friends et al, but it's got very restricted access

v) Bathing Sponge

The only bathing sponge I use is kon-kon (the native/traditional, coarse and stranded Yoruba sponge made from trees? and usually yellowish in colour).
If I scrub with anything else, I'll feel filthy and in need of a proper scrub.
When I was living abroad, I always made my relatives buy and DHL kon-kon to me. (lol)
And when I'm travelling or staying over @ a friends, the first thing I pack is fresh kon-kon.
On our wedding night, hubby almost fainted when I brought out my kon-kon to bathe.
You shoulda seen the look on his face, like: "Are you having a laugh?".
I explained I've been using kon-kon since I was a child and can't use any other sponge.
He said he never knew I was so razz deep under. Whatever!!!!

vi) Selective Mutism

I had selective mutism (It's an extreme form of shyness) as a child.
Unfortunately, it went unnoticed as I was a completely different person at home and around close friends and families.
I also had excellent grades so I don't blame my teachers and parents for not noticing (lol)
I had treatment in Canada but sadly, I was like 16 when I met Dr Lucy (my psychiatrist) and by then I was quite comfortable with it and learning to deal with it.
It's not uncommon for people to tag me as: 'snobbish'/'having an attitude problem'/'having a personality problem'/'having a personality disorder'/'stand-offish' etc but if you get to know
me proper, I'm just a shy snail who really wants to be friends with you but needs to be comfy with you first.
And yeah,
I was a geek, back in school.....


Vii) Warm Spaces

I hope I don't I sound like a freak but I can not stand warm spaces: warm beds, seats, etc.
I just can not bring myself to sit in a space that has just been vacated by someone else.
I don't like it when someone's bare skin touches mine (except hubby's of course) and my sister hated sharing the same room with me cos I would wake her up many times at night to 'move to her side'.
When I was in the UK, I always told my colleagues (school/work) upfront so they don't get offended when I don't sit when they offer me a seat or when I place a cushion on seats they just vacated.
And yes, I'm that annoying girl in the bus/tube who has an empty seat beside her and wont sit or move over so you can sit. (lol)
Crikey!! It's cos I'm waiting for the seat to cool.


What do you reckon, peeps?

Am I weird?


Thursday, 5 July 2007

uhhhhing and ahhhing



I've just been uuuuhhing and aaaahhhing and crying.
I just watched Larry King's interview with Larry Birkhead (Anna Nicole's former boyfee and her baby's father).
Dannielynn Hope (the baby) was also brought into the studio and she was all smiles (...so cute) as she grabbed her daddy's microphone and Larry King's mike too.
That baby is so gorgeous, I've never seen a baby so beautiful!!!
Like L. King said, it's so sad Anna Nicole died and is missing all of these.....
But I like Larry Birkhead and I reckon he'll make a great dad...he's so cute!
If I wasn't married I woulda said more (lol)
So no further comments....

Sunday, 1 July 2007

Going Shopping With Hubby




Yesterday, hubby and I went jogging and walking for 83minutes.
Okay, I lied, hubby jogged while I walked and 'semi-jogged' (lol) but we did 83minutes anyway.
When we got home, hubby did some 'press-ups' and a few minutes on the cross-trainer.
My hubby's already looking good and toned and I'm getting jealous.....
We had whole wheat bread for breakfast. Hubby had his with sardine stew while I had two slices with strawberry jam and peppermint tea.

Later in the afternoon, we were @ Shoprite to do some of this month's shopping.
We got two trolleys: my trolley was for items on the shopping list while his was for 'unplanned purchases' (lol)
I followed my shopping list religiously and I told hubby I was headed for the frozen food section, where I always end my shopping.
I was minding my business and trying to choose the chicken packs with the biggest parts/flesh when some guy wheeled his trolley next to mine.

Guy: Sorry, is this the chicken section?
Me: Yeah
Guy: What's the difference?
Me:
The packs are labeled.
Guy: (picks a pack) I'm sorry but can I say something?
Me: Sure
Guy: I’ve been watching you and I like the way you are carefully selecting your meat. I mean some other people just come and pick anything but you are obviously taking your time to select the best
Me: I'm only looking for the bigger packs but it makes no difference really cos the packs are weighed and priced per kilo
Guy: Really? Just like they do abroad
I pretend not to hear him
Guy: You know, if you are selecting your meat with so much care, I have no doubt your soup is going to be very delicious....
Me: Thanks
Guy: My name is Victor; I’m in the movie industry. Can I meet you?
Me: Not really. Look, I'm married (I waved my left hand)
Guy: I'm so sorry, I didn’t notice. Gosh, I'm so embarassed (laughs). Is your husband around?
I turned and saw hubby further down the aisle. I blew him a kiss and he waved back.
Guy: This is so embarrassing! Let's just pretend I'm seeking your opinion on the meat...
Me: There's no need for that, bye!

I picked some packs of packed chicken and pushed my trolley towards my hubby.
I’m not making anymore ‘Dude’ mistakes.

Hubby's trolley had some of his toiletries, decaffeinated coffee and coffee-mate (for the office), shoe polish, brush and shiner, ponmo?! (It's burnt animal hide, said to have no nutrients, but it's a Nigerian soup delicacy), a Binatone rechargeable lantern?!, car wash fluid, car air fresheners, Rim Polisher??? Car this and that and that

Me:
Babes, why ponmo, lantern and all these car things?
Hubby: (laughs) This is my trolley babes, so mind your business.
Me: Make sure you don't ask me for any money.
Hubby: You know I won’t
Me: I mean it, babes
Hubby: Let’s see who is going to ask who for money.

We went to separate tills and hubby joined me when he was done.
Hubby: (whispering) Your wallet is with me
Me: Damn!
Hubby: (laughing) Duh!!!
Me: So how much have you spent?
Hubby: You better check how much you have left. (He hands back my wallet)
Me: This is the last time we're shopping together.


Luckily, I had more than enough money anyway.
I drove to a market further down the road where I planned to buy and grind pepper.
It was a mistake.
Hubby sighted some meat-sellers? and we ended up buying 'assorted meats': kidney, fuku (lungs), roundabout and abodi??? amidst serious protests from me.

Hubby and I had no idea how to cook or clean them as I personally, have never ever eaten them in my life so I called good, old, reliable mum.
First, she scolded me for taking hubby to the market and then she scolded me for letting hubby buy 'those nonsense, disease carrying assorted parts'' and then she warned not to allow him eat it again, and then she advised that fish, chicken and turkey is best and then she offered to call me back.

*Sigh* Mothers!
She told me how to clean and cook them and made me repeat her instructions till they were crystal clear.
I had to clean the abodi and roundabout with alum, remove the surrounding fat, turn inside out (abodi) and parboil in boiling water.

I also parboiled the fuku & kidney and I was disgusted as the clotted blood flowed out of the veins/arteries.

Yuck! I'm surprised I didn't puke.
I seasoned and cooked everything and made soup, I didnt use the stock.
Hubby ate it alone, with rice and he said it was delicious.
I did give him a lecture though.

Me: You know I've never touched those assorted meats before
Hubby: (fingerlicking, mouth full) Delicious! mmmmh. Very Delicious. Thanks
Me; Babes, it’s not healthy so you wouldn't be eating it again.
Hubby: It's healthier than meat
Me: Maybe. But it also carries most diseases
Hubby: Like?
Me: Kidney stones, cancer of the lungs, cancer of the bowels
Hubby: Hehehhehehehehehe (laughing) My wife!!!!
I am laughing too and hubby tries to kiss me, I dodged: Not with that mouth!
He starts chasing me round the dining area, we're both laughing hard, luckily, our washerman arrived and I escaped the 'assorted meat' kiss (lol)






Friday, 29 June 2007

Why Am I Crying?


I got out of bed this morning to make breakfast for hubby and I just started crying uncontrollably.
I sat on the plastic stool in my kitchen and just cried.
No provocation, just self pity.
I'm bored and lonely and sick of staying home and playing housewife and not getting preggers.
I cried my eyes out and then put four slices of bread in the toaster.
I microwaved a can of baked beans with dry pepper and garlic and I made two cups of Ginger tea.
And then I went back to bed to continue crying.
Hubby got out of the shower and started dressing up so I tried to stop crying but the traitorous tears wont stop.

Hubby: Babes, what's wrong?

I was crying so hard that I was almost chocking.
I am such an emotional mess!
Hubby held me while I cried my heart out and then I apologised and told him not to mind me but he won't have that, so i told him: I'm bored and lonely and jobless and just fed up.

Hubby: Is it my fault?

Me: No, no, not at all. I just woke up from the wrong side of bed.

Hubby: No, it means that's what you've been thinking about.

Me: Babes, please just drop it

Hubby: Do you want to look into getting an office space to start something...

Me: Not yet. I am a career person. I'll like to make a name in the industry before retiring to start my own 'thing'

Hubby: I just feel you're blaming me somehow, maybe for bringing you back home

Me: I swear I'm not....I'll never but the boredom is just creeping into my veins and making me cry.

It was raining outside.
We sat together hugging and then kissing and then ___doing the 'making-babies techniques' (lol) and then we held each other and slept off till past 900am when NEPA struck.
Hubby was EXTREMELY late for work and breakfast was cold.
Hubby grumbled about all these 'ajebutter' food as we ate breakfast.
And then I started crying and saying it'll be just me @ home after hubby left....
*Sigh*
I couldn't stop crying and it annoyed me even more so i kept asking hubby: Why can't I stop crying? What's wrong with me?

Poor hubby just looked confused and asked; Should I stay home?

I shook my head in reply.

Hubby: Do you want to meet up for lunch?

No! No! I just wanna cry....

Hubby: But it's not like you got a job and I said don't work....

Me: Stop it! Stop it!!

So I went to the room to cry some more and hubby just stood watching me.
And I slept off and didnt even know when hubby left for work.
I've called hubby to apologise but he's not picking.
I'm sure he's upset and I'm really cross with myself....
Or is this a form of depression?
I'm scared of me.....
What do you reckon?

Tuesday, 26 June 2007

I'm A Wonderful Wife

I made oats porridge for hubby yesterday morning before he left for work.
He called me in the afternoon because he wasn't too sure about what to have for lunch.
I suggested fish and salad.
Hubby: You better be serious, babes. Right now, I'm thinking yam porridge or amala.
Me: Maybe amala with ewedu and fish, please mind the salt
Hubby: Amala is solid
Me: So is yam porridge but amala is lighter
Hubby: Okay

I sent Mr P out to buy fuel for the car and the generators, he was gone all day so I was stuck at home.
I made fish sauce with chopped fresh peppers and onions.
I added one knorr cube and salt for taste and put about two teaspoons of garlic powder....and honestly, it tasted all right, no curry, thyme, tumeric or puree
I called hubby @ six to ask if he wanted macaroni or spaghetti for dinner.
Hubby laughed and said he'ld call me back to let me know.

He called @ about 800pm, he was @ the clinic and his BP was 140/90, it had gone up a bit and the doctor was suggesting his high BP might have been caused by work-related stress.
Hubby: Babes, I'm really starving...do you still have vegetable soup in the freezer?
Me: Yep! But I've made fish sauce for pasta
Hubby: Babes, me I can't eat pasta, I need something solid, like eba. I'm very hungry!
Me: Pasta will do, babes.

Hubby did not eat pasta.
He ate eba with vegetable soup and my fish sauce, I had Golden Morn cereal.
I've told hubby I might have to start locking my store and freezers to enforce our new timetable.
Isn't it hilarious...we agreed on solid food thrice a week and he's had solids twice in one day and it's only Tuesday.
After his eba, hubby was too tired to do any exercise and I barely managed 7minutes on the cross trainer.....*Sigh*
I didn't hear the alarm so I couldn't make him breakfast but he had cereal and fish sauce and left the plates on my dining table.
I really need to start locking my kitchen...

BTW, last night in bed, after_____, hubby said: Babes, you are a wonderful wife.
Me(Kiss): You're a wonderful hubby too
Hubby: I mean it
I smiled.
Hubby: You know, when I decided to marry you, it was because I loved everything about you. I never knew that you could be so caring...You really stood by me during my brief illness and you kept it between us, you didn't blab to anyone. Babes, I'm honoured and I love you even more now
Me: (Smiling sheepishly, ooops, I told my blog) Would you do the same for me?
Hubby: I swear, I'll do even more. Thanx babes.
Me: Will you say it on a cake.
Hubby: No cakes, remember we're dieting

After hubby had slept off, I remembered how I had stayed beside him all day, not eating or drinking because I was fasting and how I stroked his back when the IV shots were administered slowly and how I jumped for joy each time the BP reading went lower and I smiled.....
Yeaman! Me is a very good wifee and I've been blessed with a wonderful hubby.....

Dinner is boiled plantain with vegetables....(lol) and I'm gonna ensure hubby eats ti.
I'm off to buy some fruits: pineapple and watermelon
L8r