Wednesday, 28 November 2007

Rising Above Victimisation

It's a long story peeps, but I'll do a proper post by weekend.

Sunday, 4 November 2007

New Job.....Mixed Feelings

Please forgive me for not sharing this earlier.
You know I don't blog as often as I used to.

Last thanksgiving Sunday, hubby and I went to have some Chinese after a long service.

We were quite exhausted when we got home.

Infact, hubby barely managed to pull off his clothes before falling asleep, but I wanted to clean the freezer so I didnt go to sleep immediately.

After giving the kitchen a thorough cleaning up, I picked my phone to check for messages/missed calls.

There was a text from 'That Company' asking me to come pick my offer letter the following day.

I screamed and scared poor hubby badly.

He joined me in screaming and running from one end of the living room, to the other end of the dining room.

I hugged him tightly and thanked him immensely for being a pillar of support.

I picked my offer letter the next day, and to my surprise, the salary was more than N2m over what I had asked, so my earning power is between N5m - N10m per annum.

I won't tell you how much exactly.

Not bad at all, considering the Nigerian economy/cost of living.

Apparently, there was a salary review some months ago......lucky me!!!

I started 8th October and training has been exciting so far.

Meanwhile, hubby and I already agreed I might return to the UK in December to resume my old job as I have been on unpaid leave since January.

I'm so happy I'm not gonna be separated from my hubby!


So I'm on probation for 6months and I won't qualify for paid maternity leave till after 18months, so technically, I have to hold off getting pregnant till at least my 9th month.

Hubby and I have talked about it and we've decidedwe'll cross 'that bridge' when we get there, but I already know I won't terminate my baby/babies for any job.

I was just thinking this morning that it might actually be better for me to return to the UK as I have worked with that UK company for years and I won't get fired for getting preggers.

But if I return to the UK, I'll be separated from my hubby and it's unhealthy for a marriage of less than a year.

I know we survived a long distance relationship prior to marriage but it's different after marriage, plus it won't help if we're looking @ starting a family immediately!

Lord, why is it taking so long? Why?!

I am having mixed feelings about the job now. *Sigh*

It's hard to celebrate, but I'm sailing through one day at a time.

What do you reckon peeps?

Friday, 2 November 2007

Auntie Who?

See, I was @ the bank last week to get some cash @ the ATM, when I saw this lady(Lets refer to her as Lady) wearing a beautifully-tailored ankara(African print fabric) skirt and blouse with frills and all the works.

The tailor/designer's cuts were sharp and neat and moulded her figure nicely.

I've been paying my tailor N5000 perfabric and he still has to do 2 -5alterations before I am 60% satisfied.

Anyways, I couldn't resist going to queue behind the lady to have a chat with her about her gorgeous attire.

Me: Hello! That's a lovely attire you've got on! It's so nice

Lady:(smiles) Thank you

Me: Hope you wouldn't mind me asking for your tailor's number?

Lady: Awww! Sorry, I lost my phone and I don't know her number by memory.

Me: Such a pity!


Me: But are you planning on retrieving the same number?

Lady: Yes.

Me: Good. Then can i have your number so I can call you in the next couple of weeks just in case....

Lady: Ok

So we exchanged numbers.

She was going to give me her husband's number so I could keep in touch prior to her retrieving her lost phone but she changed her mind and i don't blame her.

I don't distribute my hubby's numbers either, not even to close friends (thank u Nollywood(lol))
Me: So where's the tailor's shop?

Lady: Oworo/Bariga side.

Me: Huuuuh?! But does she do home service? Cos my tailor usually comes to pick my fabrics from my house
(Sadly, I can't meander around town by myself and there's no Tomtom Navigator in this town or comprehensive road-maps even)

Lady: Yes, but you will pay her transport fare.

Me: That[s not a problem. How much does she charge per fabric?

Lady: from N1000 - N2500, depending on the style/fabric.

Me: heh? (Jeez! I resisted the urge to slap my hands on my head, Papa Ajasco style)

Lady: Like this style, she took N1500 because it's complex.

Me: I will definitely call you

Lady: Excuse me.

I moved back a bit as it was her turn to use the ATM.

When she finished, I waved: Okay, Lady. I'll call you.

I finished my business and made to leave, but Lady was lurking around so I gave her a friendly wave.
Lady: Excuse me

So I walked up to her.

Lady: See, I don't like disrespect and where i come from, respect is mutual. I don't know your age oh, but I have younger ones and two of them are married and even their husbands can't call me by name and I know they are older than you. So if they hear you calling me Lady, they can also start disrespecting me, not to mention that tailor. The woman dares not call me by my first name. I expected you to use your initiative to know that there'll be Aunty before my name. In my culture,....

I was very *pissed*!!!! (Excuse my language). Istruggled to maintain a calm facade though and I had a good look at her.
I look younger than my age and I am soft-spoken, so I am used to people thinking I am a baby.
Me: So would you rather i called you Mrs......

Lady: No, you can call me Aunty.
Me: I won't do that. You don't ask for respect, you earn it. And you've just lost any respect i have for you. In case you don't know, I'm sure we are in the same age-group, give or take a couple of years! Good-day!

I felt like kicking her and pulling her hair off strand by strand but I walked off and got into my car.

Gosh! The directors of the company I workfor (I am still on unpaid leave) in the UK are probably the same age with my parents or older but we're on first name basis.

My younger siblings and cousins refer to me by name and I've never felt like they disrespected me, instead, they say I'm their favorite sister/cousin/aunt because i am not fussy!
I think those that hide such actions behind 'culture' are just people looking for an excuse to remain stagnant.

Who needs her cheap tailor anyway? (I know I do and that makes me more furious)

This woman is not my aunty and I don't want to refer to her as aunty!!!
Mind you, I'm not being pompous or silly. I am just being me!
I know someone's probably wondering about my in-laws.
Honestly, I don't refer to them as Uncle/Auntie, instead, I use their titles like Chief, Doctor, Pastor, Deacon etc and for the women, it's Mrs So-so-so and for the other wives, it's So-So-So's Mum etc and for those I am clearly older than, I refer to them by their first names!
Meanwhile, I let them know I prefer to be called by my first name cause my name is beautiful and it's my name! Adding auntie to my name doesnt make you respect me more or does it?
What do you reckon peeps?

Playing in the Rain

Hello peeps!
Wasnt last Saturday just awesome?!
Well, it was for me.
Since I returned from the UK to Lagos, Nigeria, I have been bathing with very warm water, I doubt I've had any cold showers.
Early Saturday morning, I was woken by the sounds of heavy rainfall and when I peeped, it was raining cats and dogs.
Hubby had gone for yet another Bachelor's Eve the night before so I was home alone.
I desperately wanted to play in the rain but not by myself so i waited....

We don't have a gateman because my landlord doesnt like them so we usually leave a padlock outside when someone is out so they can let themselves in when they return.

But the night before, there had been four loud gunshots so i guess my neighbours must have removed the padlock from outside for obvious security reasons.
Anyways, hubby eventually returned and as he couldnt let himself in, he rang me to come open the gate.
I was sooo excited but i moaned about him waking me up so early and that I couldn't come out in the rain.
He said okay, he would wait in the car for a bit.

I quickly donned my night-robe and dashed out without any slippers.
Hubby drove in quickly and expressed concern about my uncovered hair and bare feet but I didn't mind at all.
The cold rain was pelting down all over me and my robe was soaked in an instant!
And, Gosh, it felt soooo good!!!!

Hubby tried to push me in quickly.
Me: Babes, please lets stay and play in the rain a bit. It's been so long since I've done this.
Hubby: (sigh) Babes, I am soo tired
Me: Pleeeease
Hubby: Ooooooooooh!!!!! I want to sleep!
Me: Pleeeeease
Hubby: Okay but you must promise me you won't start screaming especially when u get excited.
Me: I promise!

Hubby stripped to his boxers while I took off my robe, I was wearing a thin strapped cotton camisole with matching knickers underneath.
We dashed into the cold rain excitedly and ran round to the back of the house.
I found a spot where the rain-water was gushing down from the roof and stood there with my eyes closed, my head tilted backwards and my arms spread wide apart.
The ice-cold water flowed on my head and down my body.
Hubby pushed me away excitedly and stood in my place.
I almost screamed then but I managed to jump up and down in excitement!!!!
We took turns at going under the water, it was like our own waterfall(hehehehe)
My teeth started chattering and hubby suggested we returned into the house but I begged for 10more minutes, then 5more minutes etc
Eventually, he started pulling me towards the door while I struggled to pull us both back to our waterfall.

Of course, hubby won't pull/push too hard so I kept winning over and over again until the rain subsided.
We tip-toed back to the front door and returned to the comfort of our home.
Hubby grabbed a towel and dried my body and my hair, I felt so pampered.
Then he dried himself and pushed me gently on the bed.
And we made sweet, sweet love.
Peeps, we didn't wake up till 3pm.
Hubby had a total of 61missed calls on his 3phones. I had 17missed calls but who cares?
I am so happy I'm married to my hubby.....and he doesnt mind bathing in ice cold showers.

So who enjoys playing in the rain?
I fell in love with the picture of those Liberian children playing in the rain and I remember how i never cared for a raincoat when I was young/shall i say younger (Ye know I'm not so old!)
I was so like them, though luckier....much luckier!
I wanna be a child again....