Friday 2 November 2007

Auntie Who?


See, I was @ the bank last week to get some cash @ the ATM, when I saw this lady(Lets refer to her as Lady) wearing a beautifully-tailored ankara(African print fabric) skirt and blouse with frills and all the works.

The tailor/designer's cuts were sharp and neat and moulded her figure nicely.

I've been paying my tailor N5000 perfabric and he still has to do 2 -5alterations before I am 60% satisfied.

Anyways, I couldn't resist going to queue behind the lady to have a chat with her about her gorgeous attire.

Me: Hello! That's a lovely attire you've got on! It's so nice

Lady:(smiles) Thank you

Me: Hope you wouldn't mind me asking for your tailor's number?

Lady: Awww! Sorry, I lost my phone and I don't know her number by memory.

Me: Such a pity!


Silence


Me: But are you planning on retrieving the same number?

Lady: Yes.

Me: Good. Then can i have your number so I can call you in the next couple of weeks just in case....

Lady: Ok

So we exchanged numbers.


She was going to give me her husband's number so I could keep in touch prior to her retrieving her lost phone but she changed her mind and i don't blame her.

I don't distribute my hubby's numbers either, not even to close friends (thank u Nollywood(lol))
Me: So where's the tailor's shop?

Lady: Oworo/Bariga side.

Me: Huuuuh?! But does she do home service? Cos my tailor usually comes to pick my fabrics from my house
(Sadly, I can't meander around town by myself and there's no Tomtom Navigator in this town or comprehensive road-maps even)

Lady: Yes, but you will pay her transport fare.

Me: That[s not a problem. How much does she charge per fabric?

Lady: from N1000 - N2500, depending on the style/fabric.

Me: heh? (Jeez! I resisted the urge to slap my hands on my head, Papa Ajasco style)

Lady: Like this style, she took N1500 because it's complex.

Me: I will definitely call you

Lady: Excuse me.

I moved back a bit as it was her turn to use the ATM.

When she finished, I waved: Okay, Lady. I'll call you.

I finished my business and made to leave, but Lady was lurking around so I gave her a friendly wave.
Lady: Excuse me

So I walked up to her.

Lady: See, I don't like disrespect and where i come from, respect is mutual. I don't know your age oh, but I have younger ones and two of them are married and even their husbands can't call me by name and I know they are older than you. So if they hear you calling me Lady, they can also start disrespecting me, not to mention that tailor. The woman dares not call me by my first name. I expected you to use your initiative to know that there'll be Aunty before my name. In my culture,....

I was very *pissed*!!!! (Excuse my language). Istruggled to maintain a calm facade though and I had a good look at her.
I look younger than my age and I am soft-spoken, so I am used to people thinking I am a baby.
Me: So would you rather i called you Mrs......

Lady: No, you can call me Aunty.
Me: I won't do that. You don't ask for respect, you earn it. And you've just lost any respect i have for you. In case you don't know, I'm sure we are in the same age-group, give or take a couple of years! Good-day!

I felt like kicking her and pulling her hair off strand by strand but I walked off and got into my car.

Gosh! The directors of the company I workfor (I am still on unpaid leave) in the UK are probably the same age with my parents or older but we're on first name basis.

My younger siblings and cousins refer to me by name and I've never felt like they disrespected me, instead, they say I'm their favorite sister/cousin/aunt because i am not fussy!
I think those that hide such actions behind 'culture' are just people looking for an excuse to remain stagnant.

Hiss.
Who needs her cheap tailor anyway? (I know I do and that makes me more furious)

This woman is not my aunty and I don't want to refer to her as aunty!!!
Mind you, I'm not being pompous or silly. I am just being me!
I know someone's probably wondering about my in-laws.
Honestly, I don't refer to them as Uncle/Auntie, instead, I use their titles like Chief, Doctor, Pastor, Deacon etc and for the women, it's Mrs So-so-so and for the other wives, it's So-So-So's Mum etc and for those I am clearly older than, I refer to them by their first names!
Meanwhile, I let them know I prefer to be called by my first name cause my name is beautiful and it's my name! Adding auntie to my name doesnt make you respect me more or does it?
What do you reckon peeps?


8 comments:

The experiences of an achiever....... said...

Mehn! i totally feel u o! it's so annoying and pushy when people asked to be*respected* in their own stupid terms!

Writefreak said...

Na wa! The way some people go about this aunty/sister issue, you'll think God gave them as a name! I really don't understand it myself. That's our society for you my sister though i sometimes refuse to bend myself

Unknown said...

Oh well, thats the african set up for you. Some people demand respect. Whether you are obliged to give it to her or not is another matter entirely.

I would say she went a little bit over the top to demand respect from you considering that she didnt know you from Adam and all you required from her was a tailor's number after which you most likely wouldnt ever set your eyes on her again or even have cause to speak to her again. *Sigh* The things we see in our everyday life. LOL!!

7 said...

That's so silly! People use that aunty/sister stuff to feel superior ojare. Looking for respect when they fear there is nothing to respect in them, pshew...don't mind me am irritated and pms-ing!

36 INCHES OF BROWN LEGS said...

lol. welcome to naija babes, where everyone wants by force respect, listen i have a GREAT tailor and she charges btwn 2500 - 3500 and shed come to urs, email me ill give u her number: missbrownlegs@yahoo.com

aloted said...

lol...very very funny..that woman is really silly...aunty ko aunty ni...it's a pity sha...just because u call someone aunty does not mean u respect them. you should have said "aunty se u know u are an agbaye (not sure what that means in english").

A Kel called Wonder ...... said...

Now thats Lagos/ Yoruba for u!!! not exactly Nigeria as everyone is saying ooo. Tot u would know cos they even do it in London. lol

I reckon u dont really need the tailor!!

Thirty + said...

You mean she actually waited for you to tell you that, what errant nonsense.