Saffa Gist 1

Where do I start from????
Something came up at hubby's office and four of them had to leave for South Africa on Monday.
He told me he might be gone for 6weeks and advised me to invite someone over to stay with me.
I thought: 6weeks??!! Mmmmmh!
I started racking my brain and wondering if there was anyone I could invite over for 6weeks...

Me: Babes, we haven't even furnished the guest-room.

Hubby: You can get that done in a day or two. How much will you need.

Me: (In my best bedroom voice) Babes, I don't wanna be alone.

Hubby: Sorry, babes.

Me: I can't really think of anyone....

Hubby started suggesting names of some friends and relatives but I've not been in this country for long so I'm not actually that 'close' to many of them and the few I won't have minded having around are married or working.

Hubby: Think about it, there has to be one person that won't freak you out.

So I thought hard and suggested to go with hubby if it meant paying for my ticket.
He said that wasn't an option because it was an official trip, not a holiday.
Then he called a colleague and joked that his wife wanted to accompany him to SA.
And the colleague said Mr VWX was going with his wife and that alternative accommodation arrangements could be made for us if hubby requested.
Yippeeee!!!
So hubby requested for a bigger accommodation for two and told me to start packing and offered to pay for half my ticket.
We were both sooo excited.
Hubby called the airline to book a business class ticket for me as he was flying business class.
Over the weekend, we withdrew as much as we could from our bank accounts using our ATM cards and on Monday, I quietly paid for a seat in economy.
I lied to hubby that there were no more seats in business class except I didnt mind being on 'reserved' so I had opted for economy instead. (I know that was evil)
There were many vacant seats in business class when the plane took off so hubby asked an air-hostess to upgrade me to business class despite my numerous 'i'm fine' protests.
I wasn't ready to pay double money for what I could get at half(hehehehehe) and Mr VWX's wife was also traveling economy anyways so I stood my ground.
Hubby said I had embarrassed him by flying in a economy when we agreed on business class.
So I promised to upgrade my return ticket9fingers crossed at the back)
A driver....oh sorry, I meant chauffeur met us at the airport and whisked us off to our accommodation: a nice chalet in Joburg with swimming pool, tennis courts, about 4 common/sitting areas, 2restaurants and a bar
Our bedroom was homely. Large but not intimidating bed with matching dressing tables and a large double-mirror.
The bathroom was done in cream and sky blue.
I stayed indoors for two days, it was so cold!
On Day 3, hubby made car hire arrangements and suggested I made friends with Mrs VWX as I was complaining of boredom.
The woman kept saying all she wanted to do was 'rest' so I left the chalet on day 3 hoping to locate Sandton City but that didn't happen as I just enjoyed driving round and round till I got bored and returned to the chalet.
On Day 4, I asked someone in the restaurant if she knew how I could get to Sandton Town and she said she only knew how to get to Sandton City(correction) on public transport, so I went to Mrs VWX again and asked if she wanted to go with me.
She didn't sound interested so off I went.
All I wanted to buy was fantastic jewellery.
And I had half of my 'business class ticket fare', my shopping allowance and my offshore bank card.
I eventually arrived at the Nelson Mandela Square and I had to restrict myself from splurging on everything my eyes saw and loved.
I reminded myself, just jewellery, just jewellery, jewellery first, jewellery first.
Many many things I loved but what I loved most was an 18carat choker chain with a built in pendant and matching earrings: $1800.
The only thing in my wardrobe that cost over 1000pounds is my wedding dress, oh and my rings.
Should I?
Should I not?
Should I?
Should I not?

Sincere Apologies

I am still here.
I had fun in South Africa.
I accompanied hubby on an official trip but I had to return early for a final job interview...Phew!
I had a lot of fun, I even ran into my gay friends from the UK and we had SOME fun!!!
I am doing a long post on that.
My sister's also around from the States and she's staying with me.
Hubby's not back till mid-August and we talk everyday.
Both generators have packed up.
I'm cruising around in my hubby's jeep..lol
Some keys are not working on my laptop so I'm having to copy and paste some letters.
And I also had a fallout with some 'so-called' friends who have been badmouthing me.
But I'm fine and I thank you all for all your comments.
I'm working undercover till my sister leaves.
She really likes our home.
I'll stop here and post a long one during the week.

BTW, I am meeting with that company's HR department tomorrow.......I think I'll be getting my appointment letter.

I'm Back........!!!

.....................................From South Africa.
Please bear with me while I settle i

7 Things About Me

i) Reality TV Addict




Thanx to Eastenders, Coronation Street, Nollywood films etc, I detest all soap operas/series.
I hate the fact that they just keep going on and on and never end and I hate films with Parts 1, 2, 3 etc.
Instead, I'm a Reality TV addict!!!!
I absolutely love reality shows: The Apprentice(Sir Alan's), Shipwrecked, Dragon's Den, Big Brother, Celebrity Big Brother, I'm A Celebrity Get Me Outta Here, X-Factor, American Idol, Laugh out Loud, Strictly Come Dancing, Deal or No Deal, Hell's Kitchen, Supernanny, Wife Swap, Extreme Makeover, America's Next Top Model, Fear Factor, Joe Millionaire, The Weakest Link, Who Wants To be a Millionaire ....... and no, I don't watch Lost, Spooks, Desperate Housewives etc. No thank you!!!


ii) Toilet FreAK

I hate using any toilet that's not mine and I never leave home without toilet roll.
I’ll tell you why.
Before I use any loo, I wrap my left-hand with tissue to lift the toilet-seat and then I put layers of tissue into the toilet-bowl to prevent spatter and then I squat over the toilet bowl to wee or poo.
When I’m done, I wrap my hand in tissue again to flush the toilet, open the cubicle door and turn the tap to wash my hands.
I always use the last tap in public toilets cos I think it’s rarely used therefore not so 'germful'. (lol)
If there’s a pedal-bin, I dump my tissue in there but if it’s one of the bins u have to push with ur hands, I’m dumping it on the floor...…

iii) Sean Bramingham -Coxwell

He was native American, tall, and lean, with firm muscles in the right place.
He was clean-shaven, had deep-blue eyes that saw into the depth of my soul and his voice was a clear, deep, unique and sexy baritone.
He had long brown hair, that he tied back into a neat ponytail.
He had a mighty big ranch in Texas with the best Arabian horses.
He was called ‘A Mighty Heart’ and he was the head of a native American clan.
He called me ‘Passion Princess’ and he had fallen in love with me at first sight.
He kidnapped me one sunny afternoon and we got married at a big, empty chapel.
He was the perfect gentleman and loved by all his clan.
He bought me lovely dresses and he made me a potion that made my hair grow long and silky. We went to the theatre together, did all our shopping together and we lived happily though we were envied by many.
We had the most beautiful children in America: The twins: Alexander (Alex) and Alexandra (Alexa) Bramingham Coxwell and the triplets: Phillippa (Pippa), Phillip (Philly) and Pearly(Pea) Bramingham-Coxwell.
I fell in love with Sean when I was ten.
I’m smiling like an idiot, because Sean Bramingham-Coxwell was a fantasy man(built out of my imaginations) but he was my imaginary boyfee for years and no peeps, I don't think about him any more......I swear......
*Sigh*
Look what all those years of Mills and Boon, Harlequin Romance, Silhouette and Historical Romance did to me..

iv) Camera

I looooooooove the camera.
Come on, give it to me, smile, pout, turn around, bend your knee, clutch your bag in front of you, no beside you, tilt your head, give me that sexy look.....lol.
That's me practising my picture perfect pose in front of the mirror before leaving home.
I'm like Paris Hilton with the camera, I mean on the other side of the camera.
Gosh, I'm so vain!!!!
I actually own two digital cameras (prize possessions) and I never miss an opportunity to have my pictures taken. (My victims: Mr P, my neighbour's househelp, hubby and innocent bystanders at parties).
Thank GOD, no Nigerian party is complete without freelance photographers: I'll take portrait shots, half- and full-length shots and side view shots from almost every photographer I lay my eyes on and yes, I always have the perfect pose pre-prepared.
I've been featured a few times in some of those fashion mags and I looked lovely even though I wasn't even aware I was being snapped by paparazzi (lol).
We also have some photographers in church who are always snapping away once they sight me/ hubby and I...and hubby hates it!!! (lol)
Infact, I have a website that has all my pictures, family, hubby, friends et al, but it's got very restricted access

v) Bathing Sponge

The only bathing sponge I use is kon-kon (the native/traditional, coarse and stranded Yoruba sponge made from trees? and usually yellowish in colour).
If I scrub with anything else, I'll feel filthy and in need of a proper scrub.
When I was living abroad, I always made my relatives buy and DHL kon-kon to me. (lol)
And when I'm travelling or staying over @ a friends, the first thing I pack is fresh kon-kon.
On our wedding night, hubby almost fainted when I brought out my kon-kon to bathe.
You shoulda seen the look on his face, like: "Are you having a laugh?".
I explained I've been using kon-kon since I was a child and can't use any other sponge.
He said he never knew I was so razz deep under. Whatever!!!!

vi) Selective Mutism

I had selective mutism (It's an extreme form of shyness) as a child.
Unfortunately, it went unnoticed as I was a completely different person at home and around close friends and families.
I also had excellent grades so I don't blame my teachers and parents for not noticing (lol)
I had treatment in Canada but sadly, I was like 16 when I met Dr Lucy (my psychiatrist) and by then I was quite comfortable with it and learning to deal with it.
It's not uncommon for people to tag me as: 'snobbish'/'having an attitude problem'/'having a personality problem'/'having a personality disorder'/'stand-offish' etc but if you get to know me proper, I'm just a shy snail who really wants to be friends with you but needs to be comfy with you first.
And yeah, I was a geek, back in school.....

Vii) Warm Spaces

I hope I don't I sound like a freak but I can not stand warm spaces: warm beds, seats, etc.
I just can not bring myself to sit in a space that has just been vacated by someone else.
I don't like it when someone's bare skin touches mine (except hubby's of course) and my sister hated sharing the same room with me cos I would wake her up many times at night to 'move to her side'.
When I was in the UK, I always told my colleagues (school/work) upfront so they don't get offended when I don't sit when they offer me a seat or when I place a cushion on seats they just vacated.
And yes, I'm that annoying girl in the bus/tube who has an empty seat beside her and wont sit or move over so you can sit. (lol)
Crikey!! It's cos I'm waiting for the seat to cool.

What do you reckon, peeps?

Am I weird?

uhhhhing and ahhhing

I've just been uuuuhhing and aaaahhhing and crying.
I just watched Larry King's interview with Larry Birkhead (Anna Nicole's former boyfee and her baby's father).
Dannielynn Hope (the baby) was also brought into the studio and she was all smiles (...so cute) as she grabbed her daddy's microphone and Larry King's mike too.
That baby is so gorgeous, I've never seen a baby so beautiful!!!
Like L. King said, it's so sad Anna Nicole died and is missing all of these.....
But I like Larry Birkhead and I reckon he'll make a great dad...he's so cute!
If I wasn't married I woulda said more (lol)
So no further comments....

Going Shopping With Hubby

Yesterday, hubby and I went jogging and walking for 83minutes.
Okay, I lied, hubby jogged while I walked and 'semi-jogged' (lol) but we did 83minutes anyway.
When we got home, hubby did some 'press-ups' and a few minutes on the cross-trainer.
My hubby's already looking good and toned and I'm getting jealous.....
We had whole wheat bread for breakfast. Hubby had his with sardine stew while I had two slices with strawberry jam and peppermint tea.

Later in the afternoon, we were @ Shoprite to do some of this month's shopping.
We got two trolleys: my trolley was for items on the shopping list while his was for 'unplanned purchases' (lol)
I followed my shopping list religiously and I told hubby I was headed for the frozen food section, where I always end my shopping.
I was minding my business and trying to choose the chicken packs with the biggest parts/flesh when some guy wheeled his trolley next to mine.

Guy: Sorry, is this the chicken section?
Me: Yeah
Guy: What's the difference?
Me: The packs are labeled.
Guy: (picks a pack) I'm sorry but can I say something?
Me: Sure
Guy: I’ve been watching you and I like the way you are carefully selecting your meat. I mean some other people just come and pick anything but you are obviously taking your time to select the best
Me: I'm only looking for the bigger packs but it makes no difference really cos the packs are weighed and priced per kilo
Guy: Really? Just like they do abroad
I pretend not to hear him
Guy: You know, if you are selecting your meat with so much care, I have no doubt your soup is going to be very delicious....
Me: Thanks
Guy: My name is Victor; I’m in the movie industry. Can I meet you?
Me: Not really. Look, I'm married (I waved my left hand)
Guy: I'm so sorry, I didn’t notice. Gosh, I'm so embarassed (laughs). Is your husband around?
I turned and saw hubby further down the aisle. I blew him a kiss and he waved back.
Guy: This is so embarrassing! Let's just pretend I'm seeking your opinion on the meat...
Me: There's no need for that, bye!

I picked some packs of packed chicken and pushed my trolley towards my hubby.
I’m not making anymore ‘Dude’ mistakes.

Hubby's trolley had some of his toiletries, decaffeinated coffee and coffee-mate (for the office), shoe polish, brush and shiner, ponmo?! (It's burnt animal hide, said to have no nutrients, but it's a Nigerian soup delicacy), a Binatone rechargeable lantern?!, car wash fluid, car air fresheners, Rim Polisher??? Car this and that and that

Me: Babes, why ponmo, lantern and all these car things?
Hubby: (laughs) This is my trolley babes, so mind your business.
Me: Make sure you don't ask me for any money.
Hubby: You know I won’t
Me: I mean it, babes
Hubby: Let’s see who is going to ask who for money.

We went to separate tills and hubby joined me when he was done.
Hubby: (whispering) Your wallet is with me
Me: Damn!
Hubby: (laughing) Duh!!!
Me: So how much have you spent?
Hubby: You better check how much you have left. (He hands back my wallet)
Me: This is the last time we're shopping together.

Luckily, I had more than enough money anyway.
I drove to a market further down the road where I planned to buy and grind pepper.
It was a mistake.
Hubby sighted some meat-sellers? and we ended up buying 'assorted meats': kidney, fuku (lungs), roundabout and abodi??? amidst serious protests from me.

Hubby and I had no idea how to cook or clean them as I personally, have never ever eaten them in my life so I called good, old, reliable mum.
First, she scolded me for taking hubby to the market and then she scolded me for letting hubby buy 'those nonsense, disease carrying assorted parts'' and then she warned not to allow him eat it again, and then she advised that fish, chicken and turkey is best and then she offered to call me back.

*Sigh* Mothers!
She told me how to clean and cook them and made me repeat her instructions till they were crystal clear.
I had to clean the abodi and roundabout with alum, remove the surrounding fat, turn inside out (abodi) and parboil in boiling water.

I also parboiled the fuku & kidney and I was disgusted as the clotted blood flowed out of the veins/arteries.

Yuck! I'm surprised I didn't puke.
I seasoned and cooked everything and made soup, I didnt use the stock.
Hubby ate it alone, with rice and he said it was delicious.
I did give him a lecture though.

Me: You know I've never touched those assorted meats before
Hubby: (fingerlicking, mouth full) Delicious! mmmmh. Very Delicious. Thanks
Me; Babes, it’s not healthy so you wouldn't be eating it again.
Hubby: It's healthier than meat
Me: Maybe. But it also carries most diseases
Hubby: Like?
Me: Kidney stones, cancer of the lungs, cancer of the bowels
Hubby: Hehehhehehehehehe (laughing) My wife!!!!
I am laughing too and hubby tries to kiss me, I dodged: Not with that mouth!
He starts chasing me round the dining area, we're both laughing hard, luckily, our washerman arrived and I escaped the 'assorted meat' kiss (lol)