I got out of bed this morning to make breakfast for hubby and I just started crying uncontrollably.
I sat on the plastic stool in my kitchen and just cried.
No provocation, just self pity.
I'm bored and lonely and sick of staying home and playing housewife and not getting preggers.
I cried my eyes out and then put four slices of bread in the toaster.
I microwaved a can of baked beans with dry pepper and garlic and I made two cups of Ginger tea.
And then I went back to bed to continue crying.
Hubby got out of the shower and started dressing up so I tried to stop crying but the traitorous tears wont stop.
Hubby: Babes, what's wrong?
I was crying so hard that I was almost chocking.
I am such an emotional mess!
Hubby held me while I cried my heart out and then I apologised and told him not to mind me but he won't have that, so i told him: I'm bored and lonely and jobless and just fed up.
Hubby: Is it my fault?
Me: No, no, not at all. I just woke up from the wrong side of bed.
Hubby: No, it means that's what you've been thinking about.
Me: Babes, please just drop it
Hubby: Do you want to look into getting an office space to start something...
Me: Not yet. I am a career person. I'll like to make a name in the industry before retiring to start my own 'thing'
Hubby: I just feel you're blaming me somehow, maybe for bringing you back home
Me: I swear I'm not....I'll never but the boredom is just creeping into my veins and making me cry.
It was raining outside.
We sat together hugging and then kissing and then ___doing the 'making-babies techniques' (lol) and then we held each other and slept off till past 900am when NEPA struck.
Hubby was EXTREMELY late for work and breakfast was cold.
Hubby grumbled about all these 'ajebutter' food as we ate breakfast.
And then I started crying and saying it'll be just me @ home after hubby left....
*Sigh*
I couldn't stop crying and it annoyed me even more so i kept asking hubby: Why can't I stop crying? What's wrong with me?
Poor hubby just looked confused and asked; Should I stay home?
I shook my head in reply.
Hubby: Do you want to meet up for lunch?
No! No! I just wanna cry....
Hubby: But it's not like you got a job and I said don't work....
Me: Stop it! Stop it!!
So I went to the room to cry some more and hubby just stood watching me.
And I slept off and didnt even know when hubby left for work.
I've called hubby to apologise but he's not picking.
I'm sure he's upset and I'm really cross with myself....
Or is this a form of depression?
I'm scared of me.....
What do you reckon?
9 comments:
Am sure no one likes been miserable so am not going to chide you and say:"Copido, cry cry baby!" i think its a female thing, sometimes we get so emotional when things are not going the way we want them.But dont worry ,its only a phase. Whenever you feel down like dis, just say to urself-"This too shall pass" and you will feel better, trust me.
Very soon, you go get plenty work with all the kids running around.
I am praying those 'baby-making techniques' are productive (wink).
Aww... it'll come girl... don't bother yourself over it... I know you are worried, but just take it easy...anticipating too much will not help! Good luck!
August is just around the corner. Arent u starting that ur new job in August? I think it was just a bad day made worse by the fact that u really dont have anywhere to go each day like work.
I'm sure that phase will be over soon. As for babies, enjoy ur time while it lasts, those refreshing hours of sleep will soon be a thing of the past and you'll be longing for them once again. Cheers.
@ Princess;
Love you babes.....it was PMS and yeah! I'm such a cry baby. Amen oooohh!
@ Nyemoni:
It's sooooooo hard not to worry...*sigh*
@ Calabargal:
It was PMS that made me cry...so glad August is almost here....
Sori found ur blog and post late. I can relate with u and honestly hate the calm down it will come advice it's awful. Anyways goodluck at least this blogsville will kill small bordom. I have finally strated to work and trust me, i guess i was better off wen at home, just i added so much weight that hasnt gone off or maybe if i could work 3 days a week. Am saving ur blog page. Hope u read my comment. And am sure we'll bump into each other in one of those shoprite kind of places in lagos...hummmmmmmmmmmmm
@ A Kel Called Wonder:
Thanx for dropping by babes.
My hubby just said to me this morning that he would love to trade places with me and stay home (lol). We humans are just insatiable....when we r at home, we wanna work, when we r working, we wanna stay home.....*Sigh*
I'll be stalking you....
Hey girl:
keep your head up!!
pammy
@ Pamelastich:
Thanx babes
can relate to the preggers one but no need to worry, just let nature take its course...meanwhile enjoy the stay at home while it lasts honestly cos when you start facing lagos traffic...hmmm...oops...didn't even introduce myself but saving your blog page anyways, will be back
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